Living Together
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
October 10, 2010 2:03am CST
Living together isn't something new in these generations. I'm not about to start a topic that could cause tensions between those who think living together is bad from those who says this trial marriage would be good. However, I would like to solicit your ideas on the matter in terms of the following questions:
1. Who opened the topic first between you and your mate?
2. What made you say "yes" or "no"?
3. What do you think were the good and bad realizations you've discovered after living with someone (not married)?
4. What do you think made the trial marriage fail? (If it did fail)
5. What do you think is necessary before deciding to go for trial marriage?
By the way, when I say "trial marriage" it is living together in one roof. Trying to see if the relationship would work. Some could develop to marriage, others would end the relationship.
Further, do you think living together is a good phase necessary for each relationship? Do you think that it avoids divorce? or tolerates a partner's hesitance to be tied down?
Thank you for your responses.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
11 Oct 10
In Canada, if you live with someone in a romantic relationship for over a year, or less than a year but you have a child, you are married according to the common law and are referred to as "common-law husband and wife"
My husband and I have such a relationship. Neither one of us is very religious, and see no point in such a ceremony, plus, planning a wedding is a LOT of work.
One day, I said, "you're staying over so often you should probably keep some clothes and stuff here" which he apparently took as an invitation to move in, although I didn't mean it that way at the time. Some time later we realized it was official, and starting bugeting together for groceries and all that. He did propose to me, and we were thinking of a wedding eventually (we still are) when we had more money, mostly for fun and so we could commit ourselves in front of family and friends. About 2 months after he proposed, we found out we were expecting (we wanted a baby more than a wedding, anyway) and we now use the extra money for the baby rather than saving for a wedding.
We love it, it works for us, and we are a family as husband and wife despite the lack of a "real" wedding.
1 person likes this
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
11 Oct 10
Well, I think the advantage is living a married life and having a family without the hassle and expense of a wedding. With how common divorce is these days, a "marriage" often lasts no longer or means no more to the couple than simply living together, except that they wasted a lot of money and time on a wedding. Many couples live together without being married for a long time -- longer than most marriages and sometimes their whole lives, so if you are not religious than there is no difference between that and a "real" marriage.
If you are religious, of course you will likely want to observe the ceremony of promising yourself before god.
And if you family disapproves of the relationship, that is a disadvantage!
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
Hello Laydee,
As far as I am concern, I don't favor these trial marriage or living in. i still think the best if the two relation should just keep on focus on the courtship before marriage. i mean, for my view, most relationships fail because they don't have this " special moment" that they had together. not to mention either partner is not giving importance to the relationship.
I feel, that if i go through with this, and failed, the only thing i would have is memories. of course, chances of me falling in love with some one again,and giving another 100% is highly unlikely. I will be haunted by good memories of the ex's both good and bad, thinking what could have been.so, yeah,it's not a good practice.
I am in favor,of just ending the relationship instead. 
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
You have a good point there. There are a lot of those who did 'trial marriage' as well who haven't ended nicely. I guess somehow it's people's poor excuse to not committing fully.
But I must admit, there are advantages to it as well. Most especially if the partners are far from each other. It's tough to know someone if the means of communication will always be burdened with costs and time constraints. I think you will never get enough to knowing someone if both are always far from each other.
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
that's the choice of people who are married. it's their choice and prerogative. but still, for me, living in doesn't count.
@gahoi1785 (121)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
hi laydee, its possible nowadays but its not a good practice.
two people can't just live-in. marriage first. but this depends on person's belief and religion standards.
but still i vote for marriage before living together.
happy mylotting. :-)
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33117)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
that's because they didn't get to know their partners well enough. some are just rushing too much with passion. therefore, they end getting divorce. i don't know what makes it an advantage to women, probably you get leave them easily if the men cheated or turn out different in the end. if that's the case, obviously, i won't favor it.
