My uncle has cancer.Do you think he should be told he's gonna die?
By pecito
@pecito (303)
Bulgaria
October 11, 2010 6:29am CST
My uncle went to see the doctor for a routine check of his condition.He had some flue and som kidney problem. The doctor did some tests and discovered my uncle has cancer that is developingvery fast.An urgent operation was needed and he got into hospital.But his wife never told him he's got cancer.We lied to him that there is some problem in his body that needs to be fixed,that's why operation is needed.Do you think it's right to lie to people who can soon die.Is it better for the sick peson to know he is living his last days?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
11 Oct 10
I think that everyone has the right to know exactly what is wrong with them. If, unfortunately, the doctors think that the person has only a short time to live then the FIRST person who should be told is the patient him/herself. In this country, medical staff are trained to give full respect and dignity to the patient and that includes putting the patient first when giving diagnosis and prognostication. The patient should also be asked before information is given to other people, including their near relatives.
Of course, in some cases, the patient may not be capable of understanding or appreciating the situation and, in that case, the people who may be responsible for his/her care should be informed.
If someone is expected to die, then they should be the first person to know so that they have a chance to prepare themselves mentally and spiritually. To lie to them about it is, in most cases, unforgivable because it shows a lack of respect for the person.
@pecito (303)
• Bulgaria
11 Oct 10
Well,here in my country,it's a common practice if the patient has cancer the doctor to talk to the relatves first.And then they decide whether to tell the sick person.I agree with you that every person has the right to know he's soon gonna leave this world.
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
11 Oct 10
I have had cancer for 16 years and I would have felt very insulted if my doctor had treated me as if I didn't have a mind of my own. I am due for surgery early next year and I know exactly what it is for, what they intend to do and what the expected rate of success is. Because I have lived with and been treated for the disease for so long and have always had everything explained in full, I have had time to come to terms with it and to prepare myself ... and then to get on with enjoying life.
We do all have to die sometime and all of us have to accept that some of our relatives and friends may die before us. Grief is natural and healthy but too much dwelling on the past or what might have been (but, of course, never was and really never could have been) is not a good thing. Hiding the truth from people may seem like a kindness, in the short term, but all it really says is that you don't trust the person to be able to cope with it like an adult.
@smile_ayu (47)
• China
11 Oct 10
I'am a medical student,in my opinion,it's a real dilemma.If the patient is a wide-minded person,you can tell him and it's help for the treatment.However,if the patient is always paranoid about being sick,it's better not to tell him.
@flpoolbum (2978)
• United States
11 Oct 10
I think that a person should be told they have cancer as soon as possible. Your current doctor may think that you only have a little bit of time left, but that may not be the case. You need to get a second opinion. Even if you get the same opinion from many doctors, you should know. My wife loves this country singer, Tim McGraw, who has a song about it. It's called, "Live Like You Were Dying". He said he would do so many things differently. I usually don't like country music, but I like this song. It makes you think about that situation, so that you are more prepared if it does happen.
@pecito (303)
• Bulgaria
11 Oct 10
You are absolutely right. Nobody knows exactly how much time he's got left. And doctors often make mistakes.Sometimes if the person is told he's got a serious disease he gets desperate and just gives up.But sometimes the person manages to find the inner strength to fight the disease and overcome it.
@tess_quinain (1149)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
you should tell him about it so that he can prepare. It's a sad truth but you know truth hurts and you should always tell the truth no matter how painful it is.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
For me if he can accept i but you think not better not to know him i can add his life not to live.
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
12 Oct 10
As far as I am concerned, I think it will be good for us not to told the message to your uncle. For me, I think the best thing for you to do is to try your best to treat your uncle and give what he needs and try your best to make his dream come true. Maybe the dream is not real, we may still go to make his one dream that he can see. Then he can enjoy a so comfortable life in the following days!
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
I don't know your uncle and how he view life. So i can only suggest based on a hunch.
If he is a strong person and positive mind set, then, it is ok to tell him. Besides, it is his body and his life. he has the right to know what is going on for him to make preparations on his last days with you. He might be needing to say something or wanting to do something before he goes. Do not deprive him of that...
If he is weak, then, it is , I guess, not to tell him about it. He will go if it is time for him to go... But do your best to make his last days the happiest ever. Make him feel he is loved...
May God be with you all....
@sjhaeki (795)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
It is true it would be hard to tell the sick person that he has a terminal disease and already has his days numbered but i think it would be fair to tell him. Maybe, your uncle or actually anyone else who has been really sick already has an idea of what's going on. after all, it is their body.
Though lying could cover it up and with the hope that they'll soon be cured there may be no need to tell them. however, i think it would better if the person himself would know the truth, they'd be depressed about it but perhaps that way, they could do the things they wanted to do before they die.
@holdingfast (117)
• Philippines
12 Oct 10
It would take courage to say the truth about his health condition. But of course, the person has to know what's going on with him. I think before telling the truth, the person who will do so shall think the proper approach how to tell him in a way that he could easily accept his health situation. Be positive and tell him that despite what is happening, God lovingly cares and that getting sick is never his will. You could also assure your support and love to him.
@laurenn08 (125)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
Let's face the truth ..White lies is good but be in the situation of your uncle, what would you feel if your family hides the truth? Well told him as early can be, so that he can prepare, its his decision to have an operation, or if he wouldn't like to have an operation, i think he preparing for himself to be in heaven, and make an apology to all the people he hurts and pray for his sin.
@lynlypiochy (706)
• Philippines
11 Oct 10
The patient always has a right to know what his diagnosis is. It's his condition, it's his body. He deserves to know. We never know what he might want to do. We should not presume that he wouldn't want to know about his cancer. Give him a chance to practice his use of his will.
@diana_sun (39)
• Bulgaria
12 Oct 10
Well,it is really very difficult in that case,coz on the one hand the uncle has the right to know the truth about his health conditions, but on the other hand what really matters is his psychic. If his has stable psychic, stong spirit I think he can accept the news without dramatism, but if he is not stong enough may be i would recommend not to be told the truth,coz it can ruin him
