Rejected Proposal of Love

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Guys, you know as a normal guy I'm desired to have a special girl. But do not know why it seems so hard for me. I have approached more than ten girls, and simply after that I can bear to runaway from her, though after that I feel so stupid and moron. It happens since I can't leave my independence, while in other side I wanna have a special one. Can you suggest my something useful?