Do you have any towels?
By cynthiann
@cynthiann (18612)
Jamaica
October 20, 2010 2:48pm CST
As many of you know, my part time job is managing an upmarket luxury villa on a beach in my country. It has a staff of six to pamper you and a cook who is of cordon bleu standard. You can have a masseuse, mani and pedi - any beauty treatment. All excursions are arranged for you and you have your own water sports coordinator to take you snorkelling or canoeing.You can have nannies for the kids (Paediatricians on call(and use of the latest computers and laptops. ADSL provided. Hell- you can even call home at no charge. It is a place for the rich and famous or just the rich. Or sometimes three generations of a family will come together for a vacation.
You get the idea?
Of course you do because you are not stupid. You would even go on line and look at the photographs of the grounds and rooms and photos of the staff too. You would read the references and recommendations and make an informed decision. Remember that you are paying mega bucks for this service.
However there are many stupid people in this world and they are not limited to a race or a country.Our guests come from as far as Saudi Arabia and Japan. From many European countries as well as the USA and Canada and every country in between. One of the worst was a member of the British aristocracy. A real twerp.
It is at this time of the year, that I receive the stupid emails written by the stupid people. And some times I really get quite cross, and I would like to answer the stupid people but I can't. But, humour me for a while and pretend that I can answer how I really feel.
Q. Do you have towels?
A. Nah.No towels but you can dry yourself off using a dry banana leaf
Q. Do you supply bed linen?
A. Do you mean sheets and things like that? Nah. But we can cut down green banana leaves and you can sleep on that or bring your own
Q. Do you have clean bottled water or should we bring water?
A. (We supply Spring water) Perhaps you should bring some as we collect rain water in barrels at the side of the house dodo.
Q. Will the cook provide breakfast?
A. Perhaps you should consume enough rum the night before so you do not disturb her. Oh, there is a well stocked fish pond on the grounds so be sure to fish because what you catch will be your lunch or dinner.
I feel better now. Taken a break before I reply to others, using my well-rehearsed, amusing yet pleasant responses. After all - it is my job. And this is the one that I love as I like making people happy. Okay - I know what that says about me
Tell me - do you ever have to deal with stupid people?
You get the idea?
Of course you do because you are not stupid. You would even go on line and look at the photographs of the grounds and rooms and photos of the staff too. You would read the references and recommendations and make an informed decision. Remember that you are paying mega bucks for this service.
However there are many stupid people in this world and they are not limited to a race or a country.Our guests come from as far as Saudi Arabia and Japan. From many European countries as well as the USA and Canada and every country in between. One of the worst was a member of the British aristocracy. A real twerp.
It is at this time of the year, that I receive the stupid emails written by the stupid people. And some times I really get quite cross, and I would like to answer the stupid people but I can't. But, humour me for a while and pretend that I can answer how I really feel.
Q. Do you have towels?
A. Nah.No towels but you can dry yourself off using a dry banana leaf
Q. Do you supply bed linen?
A. Do you mean sheets and things like that? Nah. But we can cut down green banana leaves and you can sleep on that or bring your own
Q. Do you have clean bottled water or should we bring water?
A. (We supply Spring water) Perhaps you should bring some as we collect rain water in barrels at the side of the house dodo.
Q. Will the cook provide breakfast?
A. Perhaps you should consume enough rum the night before so you do not disturb her. Oh, there is a well stocked fish pond on the grounds so be sure to fish because what you catch will be your lunch or dinner.
I feel better now. Taken a break before I reply to others, using my well-rehearsed, amusing yet pleasant responses. After all - it is my job. And this is the one that I love as I like making people happy. Okay - I know what that says about me
Tell me - do you ever have to deal with stupid people?4 people like this
15 responses
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
20 Oct 10
I have now a pile of work to take home tonight. I did this especially for you - to cheer you up
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
21 Oct 10
I used to deal with stupidity in my job all the time and my sister tells me that in her job every second call is an idiotic one! You know folks asking really stupid questions or making ridiculous assumptions such as the guy who phoned sis and accused her of taking his salary for the week (she works for an employment agency); the guy was furious and even said to her that if she fessed up and gave the money back he wouldn’t tell anyone! All my sister could say was something along the lines “I don’t want to talk to you any more, I’ll put you onto my colleague, maybe she can help…” and instead of passing the call on she accidentally hung up. All day she wondered if he was going to call back but he didn’t; it’s been three months and he hasn’t contacted her again.
It takes all kinds to make the world go round...
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 10
He actually told her to confess and he wouldn't tell? He is definitely up for the prize of the stupidest person of the month
2 people like this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 10
This is my part time job and the people who own the place are truly wonderful. however my boss cannot deal with anyone. he finds it hard to deal with himself!
1 person likes this
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
20 Oct 10
Hahaha! This was quite entertaining! I guess stupidity doesn't discriminate! It doesn't matter where you come from or how much money you have! I guess you can find stupidity anywhere and everywhere among the human race!
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
20 Oct 10
You are so right. Stupidity is universal. They are told everything. One person, one year, actually told me that she did not now that it rained in JA How did we get so lush an Island without rain?
How did we get so lush an Island without rain?1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 10
Yes - I expect that yo have and heard it all!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Oct 10
not any more but i used to have to deal with elderly that was going either senile or had a touch of alzhiemers coming on
i mean these people were rich rich, if you know what i mean and they would have me save the dumbest things. once i made my chili for the one guy that really loved it, but he'd snack on it at night. well, after 3 days it still had a little in the container and i threw it out and washed the container. he called me that evening really bawling me out over what he called "casserole" said i threw his casserole out. it took me a while to realise he was talking about the chili
and thats not all his daughter in law that was supposed to be a genius that had went to college etc. she was peeling an apple into the garbage desposol that we'd had trouble with before and the ole guy was to stingy to replace. i had a sign above it saying "no potatoe peels, orange peels, etc." i told her didnt you see the sign? she said, it doesnt say anything about apple peels and cores...!!!Maybe rich people are just stupid? you think?@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 10
Some really are. I showed this Brit aristo how to use the overseas phone line and he looked at me in amazement and asked me why he should do so. As he has businesses in 5 countries (I research guests before they arrive)I assumed that he would need to use this phone line.
He then told me that there was no need to show him the code as "People call me darling, I don't call them"
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31042)
• United Kingdom
21 Oct 10
I enjoyed reading about the upmarket villa, its facilities and the sort of guests it receives. The member of British aristocracy asked the sort of questions a youth hostel might get. Question : Do you have towels? Answer: No you have to bring your own. Question: Do you supply bed linen? Answer: We make a charge of 10 dollars a day or you bring your own sleeping bag. Question: Is breakfast included? Answer: It costs twenty dollars extra. I have got a disabled toddler and he does not walk. I ask a question like: Are there steps at the accommodation or an elevator? And: Do you have a ground floor room? I stay in a locally owned guest house or unusual accommodation. I like to do self catering or stay in a bed and breakfast establishment. I once stayed at a castle youth hostel in Germany and to use the shower I needed to feed it tokens.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 10
You are definitely NOT stupid as those are sensible questions to ask. It is just that they can go online and read what facilities are available. The Brit Aristocrat was a nut case. I will have to post him sometime. Blessings on you and your family.
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
21 Oct 10
Yes....and it can drive you bonkers....I was in a restaurant once...and someone said to me.....you going to eat that? Like why the heck did I order it if I wasn't going to eat it.....the worst is when I am with someone and you are watching a movie or tv program and they say.....what's going to happen next.....like I am supposed to know what they next part of the show is going to be???
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 10
I understand what you mean. Today at work the power company came to install new light posts. Been waiting 3 months so was glad that they came despite us going to suffer as tropical storm Richard will be passing over the next 48 hours so heavy rain expected.
One of the beautiful people who owns an apartment asked me how long would the power be disconnected. I told her that I really had no idea as heavy rain and wind was expected so they were unable to give me a time limit.
She thought that I was being unreasonable\e even when the heavens opened and the men came off the poles. To pacify her I told her 3 hours. It took 5 hours and she called me at home tonight complaining that I gave her the wrong information. I just can't win
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
21 Oct 10
Don't you love being able to vent on Mylot?
I bet my hubby could tell some crazy stories. He works at a rent to own store.. where they rent furniture, electronics, and appliances to people, though mostly low income people because let's face it.. those with money can afford to go buy these items brand new and save themselves a few $. Those with less money find it easier to pay $100 a month for 12 months than $500 right now.
Hubby's job is to collect from those who's payments are late. He's heard all sorts of excuses, and has had to do some crazy things to get people to pay their bills or return the merchandise. He tells me that dealing with his customers is a lot like me dealing with the kids.
Now I'm trying to think if I've ever come across any really stupid questions. I'm sure I have as I've worked in lots of different types of places from grocery stores to gas stations, hardware stores, video stores.. you name it.
The only thing I can really think of at the moment is when I was working at a pizza place. A girl came in asking if we did the celery and blue cheese dressing with our wings like most pizza places do.. we told her no because we didn't.. we only had blue cheese but not celery. She asked us if we knew where she could get some celery and blue cheese... um.. the grocery store??
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 10
Your husband has a stressful job but I agree - it is like dealing with children and you often have to play the part of a Mom or Nanny!It is all so stupid. You do not have to come with many clothes as all your laundry id washed, and ironed and returned to your bedroom within 12 hours.
I loved your comment re the pizza
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
21 Oct 10
My dear dear friend,
You know what? I read about your post almost as soon you posted it, but wasn't free for even a wink since morning. So now with all the earthly time behind me at this unearthly hour I am so happy replying to the most moronic questions although you have had the pleasure already ( replying 'em).
1. Do you have towels?
Ans: Why do you need towels? The tap ain't working. Don't get wet, no need to get dry. Plus we are eco- friendly- part of our water conservation strategy.
2. Do you supply bed linen?
Ans: Oh! We are proud to have the best bed- linen in the industry. made of natural straw and hay which comes along with tropical centipeds. ( Read the other post of yours too ). Oh! Mr. twerpy guest did I forget to mention it that once you sleep on our bed linens you shall never complain about bed bugs again. That is if you can ever make it out of here.
3. Do you have clean bottled water or should we bring water?
Ans: I suggest bring water with you, as much as you can and let me see how the airport security lets you pass with that! Try that and I would be damned if they don't ask you to gobble up all the water you carry before you cross that metal detector again!
4. Will the cook provide breakfast?
Ans: The cook is very gentle in here. He breaks the person first before serving break- fast.
Oh! I had my laugh replying those.
Yup, dear friend, I have to come across all sorts of people too. I remember me once complaining a person from my client's company. Already they would deliver the cheques very late and further to agonize me they would post it in a courier which is slow as a snail. So the story goes like I tell him why don't you guys post my important documents in some other courier service. And he tells me, Why don't you shift your office somewhere adjoining to the courier office? I was like dumbfounded for a couple of seconds. Is he just plain stupid or a wannabe stupid?
So my answer to him was you know Sir, what you are suggesting, that if I were to purchase a pair of trousers and the pant won't fit, then I must replace my legs not the darn pants.
Well, he couldn't understand the sarcasm!
.
1. Do you have towels?
Ans: Why do you need towels? The tap ain't working. Don't get wet, no need to get dry. Plus we are eco- friendly- part of our water conservation strategy.
2. Do you supply bed linen?
Ans: Oh! We are proud to have the best bed- linen in the industry. made of natural straw and hay which comes along with tropical centipeds. ( Read the other post of yours too ). Oh! Mr. twerpy guest did I forget to mention it that once you sleep on our bed linens you shall never complain about bed bugs again. That is if you can ever make it out of here.
3. Do you have clean bottled water or should we bring water?
Ans: I suggest bring water with you, as much as you can and let me see how the airport security lets you pass with that! Try that and I would be damned if they don't ask you to gobble up all the water you carry before you cross that metal detector again!
4. Will the cook provide breakfast?
Ans: The cook is very gentle in here. He breaks the person first before serving break- fast.
Oh! I had my laugh replying those.
Yup, dear friend, I have to come across all sorts of people too. I remember me once complaining a person from my client's company. Already they would deliver the cheques very late and further to agonize me they would post it in a courier which is slow as a snail. So the story goes like I tell him why don't you guys post my important documents in some other courier service. And he tells me, Why don't you shift your office somewhere adjoining to the courier office? I was like dumbfounded for a couple of seconds. Is he just plain stupid or a wannabe stupid?
So my answer to him was you know Sir, what you are suggesting, that if I were to purchase a pair of trousers and the pant won't fit, then I must replace my legs not the darn pants.
Well, he couldn't understand the sarcasm!@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 10
Wonderful Bodhi - you made me laugh so much Your responses are much better than mine. By the way I was invaded by another centipede about an hour ago. So I dropped another book on him. Daughter has told me to get the pest control and she will pay the bill. Really am so scared of them. He went into my bathroom before I dropped the book
Your responses are much better than mine. By the way I was invaded by another centipede about an hour ago. So I dropped another book on him. Daughter has told me to get the pest control and she will pay the bill. Really am so scared of them. He went into my bathroom before I dropped the book@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 10
No - I think that the other alien centipedes are now out to hunt me down and bite me for killing their leader
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
22 Oct 10
This new one just invaded to check "where the towels are?"
1 person likes this
@maezee (41985)
• United States
21 Oct 10
Well, if it's any consolation, your job sounds way cooler than mine. I had a good laugh at your responses (and I thought you actually sent them out at first! I was a little in shock by that, but then I read on lol). I can't really think of any questions all that interesting (and stupid) that I've been asked before, though. lol
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 10
No I was just venting - no way coukd I let them know what I really think as I have to be diplomatic I would lose my job as this job I do love
I would lose my job as this job I do love
@cyrus123 (6363)
• United States
21 Oct 10
This sounds like a very nice place! I wish I could afford to stay in such a place
! It also sounds like a place where I would like to work because I used to do nails. I really did enjoy your questions and answers! They are so funny, lol! I think we've all had to deal with such people in our lives! I ran a bookstore back in the 80s and when you work in retail, you have to deal with all kinds of people! I have also worked as a motel front desk clerk and you have to deal with some doozies in that kind of job as well!
! It also sounds like a place where I would like to work because I used to do nails. I really did enjoy your questions and answers! They are so funny, lol! I think we've all had to deal with such people in our lives! I ran a bookstore back in the 80s and when you work in retail, you have to deal with all kinds of people! I have also worked as a motel front desk clerk and you have to deal with some doozies in that kind of job as well!@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
21 Oct 10
Do you think they drink a special kind of water to make them the way they are? My mind is boggling at the questions you may have been asked whilst working in a motel!
1 person likes this
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@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
24 Oct 10
Oh my gosh, when I used to work for the local minor league baseball team I had to deal with stupid people on a very regular basis. I think that the best was when I worked in the kid's entertainment area. We would always have families that would come over and complain because they had to pay in addition to the regular admission cost of tickets to go on the carousel and the bounce house. They would insist that their admission to the game was enough to get them on these attractions. It was impossible to be honest.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
25 Oct 10
I cannot show any displeasure - hence the rant. Yep - have to keep smiling
@kodukodu84 (1567)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 10
Hahahah of course I had been dealing with this kind of people in the past since I'm working in a hotel but at least no ever asked me if we do provide towel, linen, and clean water bottle This is the most stupid question I have ever heard, I dunno how someone can think they might be sleeping in the jungle with such an expenses!
I do hate it that I have to answer them in the way that makes them happy and feel clever, but yeah as you said, it is our job. But oh well, at least we know richness don't always teach people to be more clever and senseless haha!
This is the most stupid question I have ever heard, I dunno how someone can think they might be sleeping in the jungle with such an expenses!
I do hate it that I have to answer them in the way that makes them happy and feel clever, but yeah as you said, it is our job. But oh well, at least we know richness don't always teach people to be more clever and senseless haha!1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 10
So you do understand what I am taking about? Isn't it amazing how the stupid ones act? You afre so right that we cannot let them know that they are asking stupid questions
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
23 Oct 10
I guess these are some of the people who I work with trying to vacation at your place. They have the same sort of stupid questions on the floor.
The only difference is that it's part of your job to keep smiling after they asked you. In our case, they keep smiling even after you tell them how stupid their questions were.
