Courtship Period OR Live in relationship !
By Karunvig
@Karunvig (714)
India
October 21, 2010 11:18am CST
what will u choose... I think courtship period is like a mask on the face, u dnt behave what actual u r but in lin in relationship u come to knw what exactly ur partner is... I prefer live inrelationship rathr thn love or courtship period... what u say guyzz. ??
2 people like this
9 responses
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
22 Oct 10
I think both are needed elements to a strong and stable relationship. Courtship is best not viewed as a mask but as a time of nurturing. Because, let's face it after a couple moves in together the glamor quickly drops away. During the courtship phase there are bound to be issues that pop up and these can be taken care of at the time and relationships can be broken off before anyone gets hurt more than need be. Once a couple decides to live together it should be considered a trial for marriage at that point and they should be pretty committed to making things work and working things out just like real married couples should do. At this time they should also work on cultivating their love and romance just as it was in the beginning and it's both partners jobs to do this because if it's all onesided it will not last.
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
26 Oct 10
But even a live in situation has the couple being fake at first. They finally wear down on you and you end up being real. I have been in both situations and by in far I think living together is okay after you have spent some time dating. Because the live in relationships I've been in meant the guy felt he didn't have to take me out because we saw each other all the time anyhow. The first year of any relationship is going to be fake any way you look at it. So, might as well enjoy the dating period while you can.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
22 Oct 10
I think I would prefer live in relationship. I know it is immoral to live with someone before marriage, but I think you get to learn and know more about the person when you live in one roof. Unlike courtship as you mentioned is a mask on the face. The guy would always make his best foot forward and impress the girl to win her heart. When in fact, you get to know him after marriage.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
21 Oct 10
My boyfriend and I don't live together, but we are dating. We have a very intimate relationship. You can call it "courtship" if you like, but to me "courtship" sound very 14th Century. Since we all live in a modern progressive world, the word "dating" sounds more appropriate.
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
21 Oct 10
According to statistics, those who choose to wait until marriage tend to be happier and stay together. Those who live in are more likely to split up even after a marriage.
With those odds, I would rather marry first.
Here are some websites with statistics and analysis of marriage vs co-habitation:
http://www.rayfowler.org/2008/04/18/statistics-on-living-together-before-marriage/
http://www.suite101.com/content/living-together-before-marriage-a139472
http://marriage.about.com/cs/cohabitation/a/livingtogether.htm
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
22 Oct 10
I would like to mention here that these websites might not be the best sources to base your decisions on. Truly credible sources end in '.edu' or '.gov' if you look up the credible sources the newest information you will likely find is about 2004-2005 (and I'm being charitable with these years.) Most governments sites have discontinued printing these statistics because they realized it wasn't accurate. The divorce/marriage rates were being culled from the same year. Rather than divorce to the rate of marriages the year before. Also they were recording every time a couple filed for divorce and more than half of those were never followed through. Also many states still have common law marriages which is essentially living together for a period of time and then being considered married by this action. That throws a whole new wrench into the system because to get out of a common law marriage you have to file a regular divorce even though you did not have a regular marriage. Look it up, the information is out there.
@sweetloveforeve (13107)
• Portugal
21 Oct 10
yes i guess you are right bcs person is trying to impress you but some are cute always^^ and i guess that courtship time is very sweet and romantic^^ bcs he guy does many things for you to look at him^^ and a live relationship sure is cute too^^ but some people when in a relationship like stop being so romantic and i think that shouldnt happen^^ so i guess that both are good^^ and important in our lives^^ we need romance that happens in courtship and love in relationships^^
@shell94 (990)
• Canada
21 Oct 10
I have been living with my honey since the word go. Unfortunately I was in a bad marriage that I needed to leave but was scared to do so. So with this being said I have to say that the new man in my life offering me a safe place was a huge bonus. Not only could I be with him, but I would no longer see the violence that had become the extent of my marriage. I am glad to be living with him and thank him for his support all the time!!!
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
21 Oct 10
I've been there done that and prefer courtship period where you're able to have your independence..
of course-I'm very independant and like my space
of course-I'm very independant and like my space 
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
21 Oct 10
I was miserably married once before and I was hoping it would last forever. Although it did not some years later, I now live with my boyfriend and we could not be happier.
We never speak of marriage and that suits us both fine. So I have done both and although I wanted my marriage to have worked out the arrangement I have know I find it much better as we respect each other and do not take one another for granted as we both know we are free to let go.
