How old is to old to be living at home?
By blue65packer
@blue65packer (11826)
United States
October 22, 2010 11:40pm CST
There are alot of adults living at home for all reasons. Most I know pay rent,do their own laundry,have a job and something help with other stuff around the house. I know a 26 year old woman still living at home who doesn't do any of the above! She had been working part-time but now got a full-time position at the same job. Her parents have never asked her to pay rent! She doesn't contribute anything to the food bill! She deosn't help around the house! Mom does her laundry! It is crazy! This so called woman went to college for 4 1/2 years to become a teacher. After she graduated she told her parents she didn't want to teach after all! So the first 6 months after graduating she slept all day and spend nights on her laptop! finally she got off her butt and found a job! Mom has always said her daughter needed her rest so that is why she didn't look for another part-time job! It would of come in handy! Dad decided to quit his job not long after this and since hasn't continued looking! He sits on his butt all day while mom works 2 jobs to support both of them! It is crazy! I can see this daughter living at home until she is an old spinster! She should be on her own and not living at home!
2 people like this
15 responses
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
24 Oct 10
There is no one answer to this questions. The acceptable age for still living with your parents varies based on many individual factors. There are good reasons to be back home, such as when you need to save up for your own house down payment.
I can think of two indicators that it is high time to move out:
Are you living at home to avoid the crowd of people other places and their nosiness? You cannot hide at home forever.
If you are still at home because your mother is waiting on you everyday, then i think you need to move out. You will develop a warped mentality of adulthood.
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
6 Nov 10
Yes, the problem can stem from either parent or child, or most likely both. Some parents get moving down a wrong track and find it very hard to change the way they do things. Sooner or later, parents need to let go and 'force' the kid to stand on their own two feet.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
6 Nov 10
This girl has developed a warped mentality in adulthood! Alot it has to do with mom not letting her grow up! Daughter is so deep into it she is to stupid to realize it or she just doesn't care! Not good anyway you look at it!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
23 Oct 10
Hi Blue,
That mom needs to really put her foot down on both of them. I know that the rents are crazy high and it is hard for kids these days to get out on their own. Still they do. If they are still at home then they should be working, helping with the bills and expenses and for the most part be self sufficient. Unless this girl has a medical condition then there is no excuse for sleeping all day. The mom is not helping by doing her laundry and allowing her to sleep all day. And the dad? Whats his story? The mother really needs to get angry and stand up to these two or nothing is going to change.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Nov 10
Now that is one dysfunctional family! Until the wife gets the gumption to stand up for herself then she really has no basis for complaining and no one should be sympathizing with her. It is her job as a parent to teach her daughter to be self-sufficient and that does not mean getting her a boyfriend to support her. The girl needs to learn to take care of herself. And the husband sounds like a big loser that she would be better off without. Obviously if she can survive by taking care of these two then she can survive even better on her own without their burden. I think she would see them both snap to if she were to actually make a move to change her circumstances and she would possibly gain a little more respect from them...or a lot.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
6 Nov 10
The girl has no medical problems and she is not sef-sufficient! As long as she is living at home she won't be! The daughter should be helping out with expenses and doing her own laundry. Mom lets her get away with not doing those things and then complains about it! then she wants the daughter to find a boyfriend so she can move out! Mom won't even let her do anything! I am not sure why mom is the enabler! Whatever the reason it is not good!
With dad,well he is arrogant and thinks his sh*t doesn't stick! Dad decided to quit his job like 3 years ago because he didn't like the direction they were going! He then lied to his wife he was let go with someone else! then lied that he was suppose to get unemployment and the state screwed it up so he never did get it! Mom found out about this and was not happy! So dad decided not to stop looking for job along time ago and has left all the burden on his wife! She could not do it and it didn't help they are in swimming in debt! They lost theri house they woned for 25 years! Husband is lazy and arrogent! Wife should leave him but she doesn't think she could live on her own! It is not a good situation and it won't get better any time soon!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
23 Oct 10
The roomie's jackass of a brother is 46 and, while not "still" living at home, is BACK living at home - only in the last year has he started paying any rent regularly - heck, his parents paid his CAR INSURANCE for YEARS! even when he wasn't living there!
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
6 Nov 10
I have heard people doing that! I never wanted my dads to it,pay my car insurance,but I finally convinced him to let me pay it on my own in my 30's! Not proud of that! Anyway i pay my own car insurance and all people who are living at home,yet,should do the that! It shows a person can be dependent on their own!
1 person likes this
@CoffeeAnyone (3210)
• Canada
24 Oct 10
Sad to say but that is one of many disfunctional families we have in our society. So sad that we can be such inablers. Unfortunetly we wouldn't inable if we weren't disfunctional and needy ourselves. I have done this in my life as well to a smaller degree. I still did it and I can understand it. It is very hard to change our ways but we must for the good of all around us. We must stop inabling each other. I might not of been an enabler if someone didn't enable me. Just so sad.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
6 Nov 10
If we we would not enable each other we would have a better society! It is sad so many of us grow up in dysfunctional familes! I did,too! It isn't fun and hopfully things will change in the future. We can't keep on doing this!
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
23 Oct 10
Hi dear,
If you know her personally, wait for 2 days and call her upto you and tell her that there is a site called myLot and I have posted something about one of my friend and ask her to go through all these post and comments, including your discussion topic.
If she is good enough to understand, she will realise what to do next and if there is not response or action from her, it the bad luck of the mother.
What else I can tell you about?
Regards,
Thank-s
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
I don't think that would work! Mom and daughter would be angry at me! It would make thing worse! They aren't the first persons I know that has been in my discussions! Alot of people would be pissed off at me if they know! What I do isn't any of their busniess!
@Yada25 (44)
•
23 Oct 10
Well, what a pity for mom who need to take care of those two people who don't care of her at all. I think most of people may blame the kid that she still live with her parents even if she not a child any more. You can not blame only the kid. The behavior of her kid it is the result of how did she bring her up. What I really seen here some family they raise their kids as the kid are lords or masters and parents as servants. Kids don't need to do anythings, the reasons that they give is the kids need to study. So, they don't need to wash their plate after meals, don't have to do laundry, help cooking, or other small task at home. This is wrong for me if you think that education at school will make your kid became better in everything. But you never try to teach them of basic tasks for living like washing plats after meal or laundry, just because you think they are too young and you can do them. But now, when they grow up you expect them to do it BUT they don't. Because they never realize that they have to do it because mom used to do it but why mom will jot do it now.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
6 Nov 10
Very good piont! The way this girl and other children are raised today the parents do everything for them! I had heard horror stories worse then this one of how some college students are still being babied by their parents! I have heard parents calling their college student child to make sure they wake up! I hear of moms going to clean their kids rooms every wek and then doing hteir laundry! Parents need to wake up and let their chidren be dependent on their own! Instead we have a greneration of adults who aren't and are still at home not contributing! it is a very sad story!
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
28 Oct 10
Too old is when the parents decide she's too old. Every family is different.
@ravend (659)
• Malta
23 Oct 10
This is unfortunately a pain of the current generation in our 20s - we do not know what the world wants from us; the world is ever changing and we are confused about it. The world isn't what it was when we started life.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
It seems to happen to alot of families! They don't want their kids to grow up and be on their own! They rather do everything for them instead of letting them be independent! It is not right! Kids need to learn about the real world and parents should make sure they do! If not the world is going to be harder on a 20 something when they go out in these world!
@o0jopak0o (6394)
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
Well In some cultures it is not that mandatory that if your already working and such that you should go to a new home.
But without helping with anything is another thing.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
This daughter doesn't do a darn thing! To make things worse mom lets her get away with it! So does dad and he is worse then his daughter! I don't see this situation geting any better any time soon!
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
23 Oct 10
Poor mother
I'm also 26 now but I have lived and moved somewhere else since I was 18. I worked and and worked on a part time job when I was in college. I never took a rest after I graduated because I could not wait to live an independent life because I did not like to wash other people dishes and laundry at home
I wanted to be on my own, I wanted to organize my own life, and most importantly is to have a full privacy as an adult. I manage my life well with the help and support from my fiance' but even I was already with my fiance for five years now, I don't live in his house though it is our house hehe because I'm not his responsibility yet, I still live on my own and organize everything by myself.
I really hope this girl will give a little bit of thought for her mum sometimes. It is not nice to take this mother for granted just because she has a kid heart for the husband and the daughter.
I'm also 26 now but I have lived and moved somewhere else since I was 18. I worked and and worked on a part time job when I was in college. I never took a rest after I graduated because I could not wait to live an independent life because I did not like to wash other people dishes and laundry at home I wanted to be on my own, I wanted to organize my own life, and most importantly is to have a full privacy as an adult. I manage my life well with the help and support from my fiance' but even I was already with my fiance for five years now, I don't live in his house though it is our house hehe because I'm not his responsibility yet, I still live on my own and organize everything by myself.
I really hope this girl will give a little bit of thought for her mum sometimes. It is not nice to take this mother for granted just because she has a kid heart for the husband and the daughter.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
I don't think this daughter will do anything thinking towards this situation! He mom is he enabler at times! Mom has been paying her car insurance,giving money for gas-o-line for her car at times,tried to get her a job at were she works and there are times this daughter follows mom around like her shadow! Unless either one wakes up,this won't change anytime soon!
@harry89 (2330)
• India
23 Oct 10
Ok, that's very sad for the mom, she has been doing all the jobs like laundry and washing dishes of her own and others plus she is doing a job. I think it is shame for the daughter and the father , they should have been the main contributor in the family in case of money. Well, i think that's poor for the mom.
Harry, :-)
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
Daughter seems so much like her deadbeat dad! It is ridiculous! Dad is so lazy he doesn't lift a finger around the house! Mom does everything! I think he enjoys seeing his wife do everything and totaly support me! I also think he enjoys seeing his daughter be so much like him! It is a sick situation!
@stanly012992 (241)
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
Hello blue65packer,
I experience that situation until now because i have my brother that don't have job even he graduated as a nurse and already 4 years later but still don't have a job it is very irrated becasue we have a lot of debt because of him. But we have no choice we need to accept the fact and take care our family i mean that we dont blame him so much because it is really hard to find a job right now especially in our country.
Have a nice day.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
In the States we are short of nurses. If your brother live here he would of had a job by now. I am sorry to hear you are in the same situation like the daughter in my discussion! I hope your brother gets a job soon!
@jajamasorong (163)
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
Well that is just so wrong.
The daughter was already such a headache and it makes me wonder why the father had to contribute to it as well.
If you ask me, that does sound crazy and the mom should have never said that the Daughter needed a rest -- especially by "resting" you mean sitting on your butt all day long in front of your laptop.
I mean -- the heck! Not working? Not contributing to chores?! Not contributing to food bills or any bill at all?
Well, I'm glad the daughter found a job. The dad shouldn't have retired so early. Talk about "debt of gratitude".
Good luck to the mother.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
Mom should leave this sitaution but I don't think that will happen! She thinks she would not be able to survive on her own! She defiently could! I hope she does someday! The husband,I think, loves to see his wife be the bread winner! He is such a jerk! His daiughter is so much like him! I think this situation will get worse before it gets better!
@mhypie03 (683)
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
Well there's a lot of those in my country. The rest of the household got used to having only one person earning in the family. I am 23 and I still live with my mom because we are the only ones left here since my dad and brother have moved overseas to work so they still send her money. But I pay all the bills and groceries. I dine her on restaurants during weekends. So basically I earn for our daily living and I did this voluntarily out of love and respect throughout the years she has cared for me. Since my schedule is occupied most of the day, she cooks and does the laundry but when I do have a free time, I do the laundry. But this is because I have an initiative as a person and several people do not think they way I do and sometimes it is because of how our parents have raised us. Bottom line, parents should draw the line to make the children understand the importance of independence. Because no one is growing any younger, the longer they tolerate, the harder it'll be in the future wherein no one else can help except themselves. When you love, you know what's best for them and that includes not just giving the fish.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 Oct 10
I wish more people were like you! So many people in this world take advantage of their parents or other people! this daughter is taking advantage of her family and her parents are letting her! Mom more then dad! It is sad and should not be like this!
@enthusiasticone (348)
• China
24 Oct 10
i don't know the clear age in the world , but its about 56 to man in our country here. and this is old enough to retire to be living at home . so what about the age in your country ?no matter how old they are and we are . just do what we keep on . the age is not a big problem but our heart and our attitude to our life and to our future. thank you .
