Am I silly, neglectful or just alittle mismanaged..?
By Joe_Black
@Joe_Black (253)
November 10, 2010 6:15pm CST
I'm not sure how best to phrase this, as it seems like something that I don't ussually talk about, but should I keep in contact with my family more..?
I don't know whether I should make more of an effort to keep in contact with them as I have rationalized for quite a while now that I'm just too busy! I have uni starting and many distractions that all require time... more time than I really have.
Am I silly for not keeping in contact, or is it ussual that families just drift apart..? I've moved out of the house about two years ago, so maybe it's just a period I'm going through.
Are you close to your family, or not too bothered..? Is it a shame if I'm not in contact with them?
5 responses
@ajaykumarmeher (815)
• India
11 Nov 10
Family is everything, as we live a social life. If you are away from your family it is very very important for you to keep in touch with family members. You need to call them atleast twice a week. Don't you miss your family when you are away from them. I miss them a lot.
@Joe_Black (253)
•
11 Nov 10
That's the thing, I don't think I miss them! Maybe the fact that I'm posting this is evidence against that... but I just wouldn't know what I'd say to them or why I'd need to contact them right now. Maybe in the future things will change. And I know that my family can always contact me when they need/want me, so the way it is right now, maybe everyone is just content with the way it is. =)
But I know that many people greatly miss their parents when they leave for just a short time... my friend quit his uni because he missed his family too much! He's going to attend a university closer to home instead!
But this is just personal preference, right..?
Does that mean that I'll be a bad dad..? Because I might not put enough effort into my children? Or is this something that I just don't feel for my parents for some reason??
I'm always really close with people when they're around me! I'm just terrible at keeping in contact! I feel I just don't need people when they're not around. =)
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
I guess you're family also misses you terribly as you do. If you are really concerned, why don't you give them a simple message every week you're away or call them once in a while. I don't think that they will be mad if you don't contact them for a while. I'm sure they are very understanding of your situation that you are taking a key period on your life that requires you to be independent. You're not being silly, it natural to be missing the persons in your life that you have not seen for a long time.
@Joe_Black (253)
•
11 Nov 10
Thanks! you're right, my family will understand. In a way, I always thought that the proudest thing in a parents life would be when their child no longer requires or seeks their guidance, as they are busy exploring the world for themselves. And that thought might be from my parents' influence, as many thoughts are. So I agree, they will understand. =)
So I should contact them when I have more time or miss them much, right?
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
11 Nov 10
If you're thinking about how little time You're spending on keeping in touch with your family,then it's probably true..though there's no guidelines on how much you should be contacting them! With many people having cellphones now,or an email address,Text messaging access,and free internet telephony available,there's any number of means by which you can catch up..it's entirely up to you how and when you want to do so..
@Joe_Black (253)
•
11 Nov 10
But if it's up to me, I just don't mind! I have enough things to keep me totally occupied the whole day! There's never a point between familys when too much time has been away from each other to enjoy making contact again, right? It's not like, by being out of contact for maybe a year or two, they will see me as a stranger, right? It's just that at the moment, I suppose I am not that interested in life where they are living... because my own life is (or atleast feels) complex. That's not selfish, right? I mean, if they wanted to contact me, they could! =)
@Chispa514 (871)
• Montreal, Quebec
11 Nov 10
Personally I am very close with most of my family. Even though we are close, there are times that I just want to be alone, so I could go days, even weeks without contacting certain people in my family.
I do think that its totally normal for families to drift apart after awhile. You are not silly, so don't worry. :)
@Joe_Black (253)
•
11 Nov 10
Yea, I guess that's what I feel, asin being and wanting to be on my own is not a problem... except that I really don't mind how long it is at all!
I'm close with them when we talk, just very infrequently.
And I thought also that it makes sense for families to drift apart... it's just the business of life and having your own priorities that take time away and put distance between you. I just wonder what I would like for my family once I'm the dad... hmmm.
Good to know that you find it normal! Thanks =)
@beeh13u (1038)
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
I think it's best to give them a call like once in a week. Your family misses you. Maybe you were just overwhelmed by your freedom and it made you forget to keep in touch with them. So give them a short chitchat. Don't let the ties fall apart. I don't know if there are grudges before you left, but still keep in touch with them.
@Joe_Black (253)
•
11 Nov 10
No grudges left behind, or atleast nothing conscious. And I do feel overwhelmed at times by being in a big city, the problem is that I don't have a phone line or many minutes on my phone contract.
I never thought it's that important to contact them. What would I talk about..? They know that I'd be fine where ever I am. And I'm sure they have busy lives themselves! Once a week can't hurt I suppose.
Thanks for the share! =)
