Your family live together but...
By chinkai28
@chinkai28 (114)
Philippines
November 22, 2010 4:34am CST
I grew up in a family with close ties...I and siblings were not very close but we care for each other. My parents were not really in a good relationship for a long time now but still my father stays in our "home". He was and is a great womanizer. My mother just can't let our family broken so she stayed for the sake of us, their children (that's what she used to tell us). Now that we're all grown ups and have built our own families, the situation between them never changed. In fact, I think it has gotten worst. There might be some reasons why my father is like that but I don't think it should be a reason for him to make us all look stupid and hurting with what he is doing. He is not a bad person, but his womanizing gets to our nerves to the extent that I (we) want him out of our lives. I feel guilty with that thought and I know he is still my father but he's causing my mother too much pain, heartaches... I know how hurting it is because I myself is a woman...I don't know how am I suppose to feel now, I want to hate him. I hate him. But he is my father, and I hate his doings, his womanizing...
4 responses
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
Reading through your experience which is a bit similar to mine, I sympathize. It really hurts if your father cheats and you know about it, my father is a seaman, and he had a relationship with someone in Manila for a long time, I knew this because I saw their letter correspondence when I rummaged through his personal things. I really told him that I wish he'd die and I still fell guilty uttering it. I want to forget about it but he openly confesses to my mother that he has flings when he stays in Manila, and last August I told him that those women doesn't love him that their only after his money, which made us drift farther apart. I don't know how to remedy this for as you've said we can't change them...but it's just sad...
@chinkai28 (114)
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
It was really hurting and frustrating, but at least your dad admitted it to your mom and I guess he only has one mistress? It's true these women were just after money, why I should ask? Because my father almost never support our family for years now. Almost all his earnings were spent to his "hobby". Really sad, really really sad.
Thank you so much marapplestiffy for reading and for sharing your thoughts and your own story :( Let's just hope that one day our dads realize we are the ones that love him truly, thru thick and think...
@mbokratu (22)
• Indonesia
23 Nov 10
I know how you feel of your dad. It's hurting of course. But, it's life. We can't ask somebody else to be what we want. Even it's our dad. Talk with heart by heart is better than blaming him all the time. Try to understand whatever his reason to have another woman. It's hard but it has to be faced.
Sometimes, children can be the way to unite the parents. But if it doesn't work, we just pray to our god. God will help you.
@chinkai28 (114)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
thank you so much mbokratu...yes that's what I always tell myself "we can't make others how we want them to be"... I don't blame him, I did tried to understand him but the situation now is much more complicated i believe I had to keep it to myself. The least we can do now is hope and pray he'd realized what he had caused us.
thanks again so much for sharing...
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
3 Dec 10
Hi,
Feel sad to read about the pain that your mother
has gone through. I do believe she is a strong woman,
For the sake of this family,she has to suffer so much because
your father is a great womanizer.it is not easy for your mother
to bear with your father attitude.
Since you all have grown up and have own families, never forget your mother.
She is always a great mother for you.Do spent time with her and visit
her more often.
As for your father, be it what happened and how you hate him.,the fact is
he is your father and you still have to respect him.
@lady1993 (27225)
• Philippines
22 Nov 10
That happens a lot these days, that's why there are lots of broken families..but good thing that didn't really happen to your family. Is your dad with the same woman, or is it different from time to time? I can't rally blame you if you hate your dad, just have a heart to heart talk with him.your mom must feel really sad because of you dad's unfaithfulness. I'm sorry
@chinkai28 (114)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
Thank you so much lady.. There are different women :( really saddening..
I really appreciate your words of comfort...
