Hard to get along, help me!?

@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
November 25, 2010 11:54pm CST
I was a very difficult person to get along, feeling insecure and low self-esteem I really dominate. Now I am 26 years old. I always consider myself ugly, and others better. I really appreciate other people, but disfigure myself. I always considered myself a bespectacled ugly, spotty, tousled hair, oily face. I am embarrassed by my physical condition, so that every road I'm always down.
2 people like this
13 responses
@livecenter (1136)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
Hi! For me that feeling is your PERCEPTION only. The phenomenon you are facing is scientifically called inferiority complex. I know nobody that is perfect in every aspect of their life. Me myself is not good-looking, but I am grateful for what I am because at the end of the day you will discover people who are less fortunate than you. Maybe you should try comparing yourself to them, and then you will see how fortunate you are. Just ignore what other people say about you, because it is you who knows yourself best.
2 people like this
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
26 Nov 10
Yes, "grateful for what I am" - this is the key!
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
26 Nov 10
Hi dear, Can I ask you just one question, where I can get a correct answer? If yes, the question is, is the avatar picture is of yours? If yes, you need not worry of your concerns. You looks so nice and beautiful in this picture. I have noticed since long that you don’t have confidence in yourself. You felt bad about your b*a size, now you are worried on your figure, hair, oily face etc. Many times I blow up your photo and I couldn't see anything funny with your photo. You looks nice and smiles nice and what is the problem? Please be proud enough on you. If this is the real photo, I like it and I feel like meet you in person, when you talk all this. Even all are the same. Some are good looking and some are not. It is not our choice that how we look like. So, be happy with how we are and we will get so many cosmetic and other things around to keep us well fitted. Whatever you have, maintain it properly. Take some more time and get ready with your body conditions. If you feel extra fatty, do some exercise and you are just only 26 and it is the best age where you look nice. In this age itself you are telling you are ugly, when will you be good looking. So, don’t worry, be happy – first you need to remove all such doubtful thoughts about yourself and be confident. Go to the mirror and see how you looks. If not satisfied, do the make ups till you feel comfortable. Who is stopping you? No one. Our faith in yourself is the one which we need to make first and the rest of the things will follow you. Now I think you will not come up with your down sized feelings and I want you to see as a better and confident person, how you look in your avtar. Thank-s
• United States
26 Nov 10
Yes I was going to ask the same thing. If thats you in your profile picture then you have nothing to worry about. You look really pretty, but of course we can all tell you that but if you dont feel that way there's nothing any one can say. It sounds like body dysmorphic disorder.
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
27 Nov 10
there are many individuals like you, but attain a very happy and successful life.There is no one who can help yourself but you my friend.So start now, all individual have their own unique qualities that is different from others.Maybe you have not discovered it yet the good qualities you have which others wish they have.Be an observer, socialize with people, go out with friends and meet new ones.Always wear a smile, discover yourself and show it to the world, good luck...
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
26 Nov 10
Hi, Gengeni. I don't want to repeat what others say but I agree with them. I want to tell you that you are just like my daughter, she is 24 year old. She doesn't like herself, she thinks that she is fat. She invents reasons to blame herself that she ruins her life and health. In this mood she admires some of her friends and she places them higher than herself. You have to struggle with yourself in order to get out of this. This is the hardest battle and nobody can fight it for you. But already has made the first step. I wish you good luck!
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
For me personally, no one is ugly. What is ugly is the one's really inside of us. If you keep on thinking about your physical attributes, sooner or later, it will depress and frustrate you. Physical beauty will fade away as we get old, so don't put yourself too low because nothing will happen to you but just put yourself to total distraction. My advise to you is try to get some professional help from a psychiatrist. Because, even how many words of advises we give you but in yourself, you still feel the same, then its worthless. Try get some help.
@toniganzon (72317)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
You should learn how to find your own beauty by not focusing on your physical appearance. If you're not that pretty as you described but you have a good heart, you will draw people near you and not far away from you. Yes, the world may be cruel and yes to some attraction is merely about physical appearance but I totally disagree. I was just like you but I tried to build my confidence by thinking that I have other qualities that other people don't and physical appearance is what you make of yourself. Having a lot of confidence and high self-esteem will change you totally even how you look and carry yourself will change. Believe me, I've been there!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
26 Nov 10
looking at your picture, i don't think you are ugly at all... in fact, i think you look beautiful... there is nothing wrong at all with your appearance... it is all about perceptions like you say and how you appreciate yourself... remember that you are the created by God in His image... so you are a wonderful being... also, you can't really love and appreciate other people until you learn how to love and appreciate yourself... so please have more confident in yourself and start to love and appreciate yourself... take care and have a nice day...
@Kylalynn (1771)
• South Africa
26 Nov 10
Well at least you have made the first step in wanting to improve yourself, by writing what you think of yourself. Perhaps your self esteem would improve if you felt better. No-one is ugly, and most people respond to a happy smiling face which comes from within. So you could try and think happy thoughts and smiling. That may help. Are you still difficult to get along with and if so, why? As for the outside make the best of yourself. Use a cleanser, toner & mosituriser daily which should improve your complexion. Shampoo your hair often, keeping it clean. Find a style easy to manage if you don't like doing your hair daily. Lot's of people wear specatcles and they don't even need them, they just like to make a fashion statement. Most people will not notice the pimples if you are happy and smiling. Just a suggestion and I hope it will help you.
@silentwill (1685)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
Ever heard of the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? Then so is ugliness, if you think yourself ugly then it's what you become. At 26, it is not too late for you to start enjoying yourself. I myself took 25 years before I decided to forget about my worries about myself and just be confident and enjoy life. I know you can do the same!
@miches (81)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
What your mind conceives, your body achieves. Don't be too hard on yourself by thinking about what are the "negatives" about you. If you think ugly about yourself, it will affect your outlook and relationship with others. Everything is only in the mind. Starting today, think about what are positive in you. Example, I have beautiful smile, I have pearly-white teeth, etc. Think you are beautiful in your own way and believe you are! And you will soon realize that you are becoming more confident, friendly, approachable. Smile! You are beautiful! Your avatar shows you are!
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
You know do not feel like that because we are created by God with our own specialty and talents and own beauty. If you are feeling insecure well I advice you to go to your beautician and derma to seek advice about how to improve your complexion. If you have an oily face and others you told then seek for an advice to what is the best for your skin. Don't let yourself rotten by wrong perception about the ugliness. Try to follow this and do something for yourself. We have our new technology that can help us. Be happy friend and don't let yourself down. You ae special to the eyes of the Lord.
@hushi22 (4928)
26 Nov 10
is this profile photo real? if it is then i dont consider you ugly. you know it's only you who can really help yourself. you already know your problem so you must try to get over it. believe in yourself and always think there are less pretty people than you. if they can make it so can you.
@ergfortes (516)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
It is only you who can help yourself. You need to accept who you are and appreciate what you have. We are all beautiful in our own ways, but you must acknowledge that on yourself. Try to freshen up, look at the mirror and tell yourself i'm beautiful. Others wouldn't appreciate you if you look at yourself down. It is nice to praise other people and look up to them but it would be better if you will learn to love yourself first. smile and tell the world that i am beautiful in my ways.