A question on a senstive issue....
November 28, 2010 11:31am CST
I am extremely upset about something. When i was younger i was sexually molested, and had told a cousin(by marriage) of mine about it. A year later she accused someone else(her step dad who is my cousin) of the same things. And when i say the same things, I mean she used my stories to accuse him. Now there was a lot going on at that time and it wasnt just him getting accused. Now there is no doubt in my mind that she was sexually abused, but i find it hard to believe it was by my cousin. For one, he was never convicted of her molestation, and if there is any proof of it going on between a man and a child, the man is prosecuted no matter what. And if he was truly a pedophile...why was she the only one he abused when she wasn't the only child she was around. Now all this happened over 15 years ago, and we have both had therapy. I am to the point in my life that i am no longer effected by what happened to me, its always there, i will never forget it, but i dont let it effect my everyday life. Now my once cousin made a comment recently on facebook that ticked me off to no end....she went off about what an a-hole he is, how he ruined who she was meant to be, and she has to fight every day not to drink or smoke. Why did it upset me?? Number one is it was wrong to post on facebook when you know you have his family members on your friends list. Number two, I can believe she is just blaming him. And finally, and i am not saying get over, because i know you cant, but what i am saying is why continue to let it effect you?? By continuing to let it effect you you are still giving your abuser power over you?? Am I the only that has been abused and can say that today it no longer effects me?? Esp when it happened so long ago?? And yeah i had therapy and i know she has too, because i took her to one of her appointments. Why on earth suddenly bring it up, when you supposedly have a great life, married with two kids??? And another thing that ticked me off is her making it seem that i brought it up out of no where, when she posted a status about it on her wall.
• United States
29 Nov 10
Hi pheonixstar1982, I think it is absolutely horrible that anyone whould post something like that on a social networking site. To me, it would be embarrassing. Why would she want people to know about something so private, is beyond me. Sounds like she is seeking attention. Not a good kind, either. Sorry to hear what happened to you and am glad that you have come through it. I know that it was not easy.
29 Nov 10
First, sorry to hear your bad experience Phoenixstar.Second, Im glad that you are completely healed.But unfortunately that your cousin by affinity obviously dwell on depression and not yet surpassed the shadow of her past..I would say she still in depression coz I myself felt that way.A recurring depression.Today I'm fine then tomorrow morning when I wake up I'm extremely angry of something from the past.You know I suffered the pain for almost 12 years.And just recently been ended when I spoke with my aunt and utter my heartaches to her.But of course my case is far much different from yours.I dont think it would be easy or possible for her and her assailant to have a heart to heart talk.I just hope she'll be smart enough on handling her emotions online where her every words can be publicized world wide web. For there are things that has to be settled on closed door.For the sake of her husband and kids.