Help! I am very upset
By carolscash
@carolscash (9492)
United States
December 9, 2010 5:34am CST
Well, it is two weeks before Christmas and my husband hasn't paid the power bill, the phone bill, the water bill, or bought any Christmas gifts for my daughter (she is 13. I currently can't work and so I have no money. What am I going to do? I have tried getting help but due to my name being on the properties that we own, I have too much in assets. UGH!! I really need some advice and help to provide her with a Christmas and to keep the utilities on. Any advice or anyone who could help?
3 people like this
16 responses
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
No, he has had money before now to pay them and wouldn't. He told me to figure it out. He also now doesn't want to work and so now he has no money either.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
11 Dec 10
That is what irritates me is that he is letting her down too. He just seems to not care and he is not normally like that. He adopted my oldest daughter because her dad didn't care about her. It is sad that he is treating his own daughter like this. I am in Indiana any help would be appreciated.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's such a shame that he is leaving it to you and in that manner. It is hard enough right now but having your husband put that on you has got to be very disheartening. Your daughter is old enough to see and realize what is going on too. It is an even bigger shame that her hero is letting you both down. I really don't know what to advise you to do. Where are you at and I will try and research some options for you. That's not to say that you haven't but sometimes two heads are better than one and maybe I can run across something.
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
9 Dec 10
Why don't you get a loan or borrow some money for a while. Then when you're ok with the finances, and you already have a job, just pay it back.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
11 Dec 10
He has no credit and can't get a loan as he can't prove what he makes because he is paid in cash so much.
@AmbiePam (85909)
• United States
9 Dec 10
Do you belong to a church that could help you with some of the bills? Regarding gifts, have you ever gone to wishuponahero.com? They help people get gifts and stuff. I know a lady on another site who got some of her kids birthday presents from people on the site who wanted to help.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
No, I do not have a church. We just started going to church and I do not feel that it is right to ask considering we have only been there two weeks. I never heard of that site.Thanks!
@rabblerouser (136)
• South Africa
11 Dec 10
hey carolcash
there is always the legal route ...you could ask a court to decide on the matter....but that would be to drastic a step....hope there is a improvement in your situation
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Dec 10
Hi Carol,
Stressful time of year, isn't it? I have not bought any gifts yet either. I am hoping to get a Christmas bonus within the next week or so and that will just have to be enough. I have to ask you, why is it that your husband has not paid any of the bill? What is he doing with the money? You can call the utility companies and most are pretty good about working out a payment arrangement with you. You have to come up with a plan that you can afford and then you have to stick to it or they will cut you off with no further warning. Call them, you will feel so much better.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
11 Dec 10
He is normally not like this,but he is mad that I hurt my arm a year ago and still can't lift and work like I was. He thinks that it is the woman's place to work too although I cook, clean, take care of horses, home school my daughter, etc. I guess that is all relaxation- anyone want to relax with me? LOL!!
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
He is just not wanting to work at the moment. He is being a jerk! I have called the utilites but I can't make a plan if I do not know when he will work and I can pay.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
10 Dec 10
Oh that's not good at all. I was married to a man that didn't want to work most of the time and it was horrible. We never had anything and constantly behind in everything. It was always stressful but more so at this time of year. I'm sorry you are in this situation. Is he normally like this or is he going through something? You really can't call the utilities to make an arrangement if you don't know when you can pay because once you set up an arrangement and if you don't follow through they will cut you right off. I hope you can talk some sense into him. Beyond Christmas, you will still need heat and lights and a roof over your head. Does he have work and just doesn't want to go?
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
10 Dec 10
Hi,
Sad to know that alot of utilities bill still
remain unpaid by your husband. Is he doing the
payment for all the house bills every month?
Then remind him to get it done as soon as possible.
As for this year christmas...just make a simple
celebration based on the budget that you have.
There is not always a need to get a present for children.
For me, I don't give any christmas present for my son.
But as long as try to spend more time with my son and
have a wonderful dinner together with my son and my
husband, it is always a great christmas celebration for us.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
She has always gotten a gift for Christmas and somehow she will this year too. I will figure out something. I am so tired of being broke. Plus, he could pay them but he won't.
@boxxerdude (34)
• India
10 Dec 10
Well first it all depends what type of assets do you own.If you own assets like shares or stock, sell them on a online asset marketplaces like Secondmarket.com
But if your assets are fixed illiquid assets like cars or real estate, i suggest dont sell them off as this is just for xmas, but next time if you have a real emergency,you will not have anything and if you need ready cash to pay your bills or otherwise, try payday loans but be careful who you borrow from but you will get ready cash without the need for collateral
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
It is real estate that his name is on also so I can't sell it. Also, I do not qualify for a payday loan as I am not working.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 10
We shouldn't allow ourselves to incur unnecessary debts just because of wanting to celebrate Christmas. Christmas is a yearly affair and because of bad economic situation in your home front, just try to lay low this christmas. Probably next year you can have a more joyous christmas.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I am not planning to incur more debt, but I want to be able to have something under the tree for her.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Dec 10
What's his problem and is there any possibility of getting him to step up?
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
No, she is not greedy and she won't care if it isn't much, but a meal won't do it as we have that every day. Sorry. He won't go to work - he is self employed and says it is too cold or that he has nothing to do.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
9 Dec 10
That's really sad Carols, i'm so sorry about your situation. I don't know what advice to give you, but i can say that you are not alone.
We just paid the power bill today, but nothing more. We still wait some money from our online jobs, but we don't know how much will come and will we be able to gift something to each other. Sad but true.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
It is sad and so frustrating. He makes good money when he works, but he doesn't want to work. UGH!!
@smashraful (129)
• Bangladesh
9 Dec 10
"Cut your coat according to your cloths" and it will save money for the next Christmas and also be happy with your daughter and your family.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I do not understand exactly, but I have tried to save but can't when I am only working online.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
9 Dec 10
Look for a program like angel tree to provide the gifts. Look into assistance programs to help pay the heat, the state of Illinois has IHEAT and it is based on current income levels. IF you have any money at all look at thrift stores for gifts, otherwise look to see if their is a freecycle in your area that might have some things on it.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I have tried the assistance programs but can't prove our income as he is self employed and usually is paid in cash.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
9 Dec 10
you can resort to your close friends or relatives that could help you as of the moment. But you have to be wise on spending each penny you borrowed. Like you could say it's worth borrowing for. I understand you really want to give your 13 year old daughter something on Christmas. Well, it isn't much of a problem, i suppose it wouldn't cost so much. It wouldn't alter much your budget for the month. And hey, keep believing that blessings will come. Ask GOd for a provision. God bless you! have a happy life! :D
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I did have a friend pay my water bill for me but my other friends just can't help right now. I do trust God but I can't wait till the last minute either.
@rabblerouser (136)
• South Africa
9 Dec 10
Hi carolscash
I am afraid you may have some tough decisions ....like you may have to sell some of those assets to generate some cash even if they are in your name [despite the present economic climate]....that way you use the cash for urgent needs and plan what to do next ...
i don't know what your actual situation is so , its hard to give more exact information and advice
kind regards
rabblerouser
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I do not have anything that I can sell really. Everything of value is in both names and so I can't do anything with it by myself.
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
9 Dec 10
I don't know your situation to know if you are seperated or hubby is just behind in paying things. I would say if you could borrow money from a relative that would be the only pheaseable way you could do things.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
10 Dec 10
I have always been very economical. I make our laundry detergent, meals at home, etc. I am very frugal and so it is not that I overspend.
