Would you attend a party if your friends will but you know you won't enjoy?

Philippines
December 15, 2010 1:12am CST
Hi fellow myLotters! I already said to my friends that I can't come but I'd like to know your opinions. Would you attend a party with your friends but you know you will not enjoy? Me and my high school friends have 1-3 mini parties/reunion every year. Last year, I really enjoyed spending time with them. This year, I went to one party and I'd say I did not enjoy it. Many were not able to come compared to last year and what they did was just drink (and I'm no drinker). Some of them now had girlfriends/boyfriends. I felt really left out. I went home and it was so depressing and no, not to the point of severe depression. It was just very sad. That previous party was for our friend's birthday. This time, they want a Christmas party just like last year. Here's the thing, I'm still studying and I'm on a really limited budget. The party is pot luck and no one mentioned yet but there might be exchange gifts. I can't afford pot luck right now and I don't want to participate in the Secret Santa. Last year, I was excited and we had a minimum of 200-pesos worth of gifts. My gift was worth 200 and I was really happy to give it. I received a gift I liked too, but it wasn't even worth 100-pesos. It's just not fair thinking that that person had a job and I don't but I can afford 200 while she can't. She just resigned that time but she had backpay and 200 is just a small portion. If people can't conform with the agreement then they should just say it instead of saying yes to an agreement but not really meaning it. I know they are my friends but I don't want to feel left out, I don't want to feel "cheated", I don't want to go. If ever there are other parties, I'll only attend the birthday parties but not the others. How about you, what would you do in the same situation? Thanks and have a nice day!
6 responses
@jornz87 (139)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
for me, if i think i won't enjoy that party it's better not to go so my time will not be wasted and i will not get depressed. when it comes to gift i don't care how much it worth as long as it is heartily given it's fine with me.
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Thanks for the response. The gift wasn't really heartily given because it was bought hastily and wasn't even wrapped. I guess the person bought it just to have something to give.
@yallit (3677)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
If I have scheduled appointments then I usually tell them upfront that "I won't go". On occasions where I've got a free time I feel obliged to go. However, I always inform them beforehand that I won't stay long especially if I'm sure that I won't be able to enjoy the party.
@saizo6 (2199)
• United States
15 Dec 10
Hmm...the best way to go is to be honest with your friends. Tell them that you're busy studying and that you're tight on money at the moment so you can't really afford to splurge. If they are good friends then they should understand your situation. I've actually been in similar situations before too. I did show up for the party but I didn't stay long. Since I didn't contribute anything to the party I didn't hang around long enough to eat the food or anything like that. I just told them that I had I had other things to do and left. Plus, it was no big deals with my friends because they knew that I don't like drinking and being rowdy.
@khanzee (123)
• Pakistan
15 Dec 10
I prefer not to attend any party until i feel i enjoy little bit, but we have to inform our reservation which we have before it could be happen some thing wrong.
@calpro (930)
• India
15 Dec 10
I had been to many such parties though I know I cant enjoy my stay there. It is mostly because of professional compulsions. But with friends I can tell them I can't attend and most of my friends parties are not boring. Our office parties and some professional late night parties are quite boring but we have to attend and no way of escaping except you are sick. Happy Living Calpro
• India
15 Dec 10
if i feel that i wont enjoy in the party means i wont attend that party if my friends forcing to attend then i will attend because they want to see me in the party so they feel happy so i will attend.