Marriage, why bother bother?

Sorry, but this women seems like she lives for herself and puts herself first.. and only. She doesn't want a man to bother with, or father for her kids. They are hers, and that's that. She really doesn't seem to care if her kids will someday want to know who their father is. I'm sure she has decided that since it doesn't matter to her, it just doesn't matter. Of course he goes things for her kids, to do otherwise would make people think bad of her... and that is unacceptable to her. I hope she has some male friends in her family's life so they can have some kind of adult male influence. But I doubt she would put herself out to make sure her kids have that.. since she obviously doesn't think that's important either. I hope none of her kid are boys. I doubt she would raise him to take pride in being a man. Since she has little respect for men anyway. I hope her kids somehow learn the value of relationships and cooperation beyond that of their mother. For their sake, I hope her little experiment in self indulgence works.

Good for that mother, that she can be independent and single like that. I hope she doesn't shut out the idea of being with a man, though, as that would be sad. I know we all hold "marraige", the concept and practice, on different pedestals. Personally.. I think it would be cool to be married if I found the right person to do it with, although I wouldn't rush myself into it - and I don't care how old I am before I get married (whereas with some people, their biological clocks are a-tickin'!). But sometimes I wonder why anyone bothers being in a relationship (let alone marriage) - especially men. Yes, I am cynical, slightly oh-so jaded, and of course boyfriendless and I wonder why anyone would do it, except for "love", I guess... But otherwise, what's the point? Hmmm..

I understand this mentality completely, although we are all taught to want a monogamous relationship with 2 parents to raise the children. It is obvious that she did not see the 'fatherly' or 'life sharing' qualities in any of the semen donors, and didn't see the point in attempting to force someone to play those roles if they didn't fit. That would not be in the best interests of the children anyway, as a happy single parent home is still a better home than an unhappy 2 parent home. It has been proven. She is likely, like me, very independent, and sees no absolute necessity for a 2nd parent or daily life companion in her life. IF she is content with the way things have turned out, and the children are happy, who's business is it of anyone else to judge her choices? For the record, when men are fairly young nowadays, they all would be content to deposit and flee, rather than be 'saddled' with the responsibility for their actions. It is not as it was many years ago when we were raised, where it was a taboo to be a single mother. It was thought back then, that a woman needed a man, as in marriage, her father passes the responsibility to the husband at the church. Nowadays, women are recognized for what they have always been. Very capable, mature, responsible people. I say more power to her and wish her and her brood a very happy life.

Sounds like she didn't even give them a chance, maybe used a sperm bank. Many women have bad relationships with men and yet they still want to be Mothers and often make very good Mothers. Of course I think they do their children a misservice by not allowing the influence of a Dad.

Hiya barehugs, I have known in a certain Family three Sisters do the same thing have Children and bring them up by themselves. Most of them are by different Fathers too but the Children are happy at least up to now. I still think that they have a right to know their real Father though even if it´s just a visit here and there. Think it´s most important for most. However there are cases where the Mother and the Children could run a risk from the Father himself and in that case she and the Children are better off on their own as they are.