it really bothers me that she said that.
By kristinad
@kristinad (185)
United States
December 18, 2010 11:13pm CST
i was at my mother in laws house yesterday and we were talking about what celebrating my soon to be husbands birthday (he was born dec 24 Christmas eve). i was saying on how i can make a nice diner and then have cake for his birthday. because i hate that everyone always forgets it or gives him the Christmas birthday combo gift and i feel like he gets jiped and it's not him fault that he was born on Christmas eve. so we were talking about what we should do and how i thought it would be nice to have his whole family over for and and then his mother turns around and says to me you know what since i had my son on Christmas eve Christmas eve has been rewanded for me because i can't enjoy it anymore because i have to always celebrate his birthday. how can a parent say that about there child? i love my son so much and i would do anything for him and thank god my boyfriend was not there to hear that and i can't tell him that his mother said that about him. BUT it really bothers me that she said that. what should i do should i leave it alone or next time i see her confront her on it and if i do confront her what do i say?
4 people like this
14 responses
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
19 Dec 10
What the heck do you even do on Xmas eve that's so darned special that celebrating your own son's birthday ruins it for you? In that case she should have kept her legs closed for another week until the holidays were over. Sheesh. I say don't say anything make a big deal about his birthday and have a big celebration for him and don't invite her because you don't want his birthday to be ruined by her bad attitude.
1 person likes this
@kristinad (185)
• United States
19 Dec 10
hello dreamy
i agree with you i have no clue what is so special. i feel like you should be putting your son first before anything elace.
1 person likes this
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
19 Dec 10
She sounds almost like she resents her son being born close to the holidays or worse, being born at all! My advice would be to keep quiet, and begin a tradition for BOTH of you. Best wishes as the two of you begin your life together!
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
20 Dec 10
It would probably be best to leave it alone. If she doesn't want to celebrate maybe you should do something for him at your home with some family and friends. She sounds selfish but just let her be. I wouldn't even bother telling him about it. Don't let it continue to bother you either.
1 person likes this
@kristinad (185)
• United States
21 Dec 10
hello tammytwo
i am not going to tell him BIT it is easier said then done to not not let it bather me
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
21 Dec 10
That's a really awful thing to say! She should be HAPPY that Christmas Eve means so much more to her because of her son's birthday! It would really bother me too, and it would definitely weigh heavy on my mind, but I don't think I would confront her. It was a nasty thing to say but it could be possible that she didn't mean for it to come across so nasty, and it could also be that she's getting older and sometimes people seem to lose their mouth's internal filter as they age. Also, it is Christmas time and I'm sure you'll be seeing lots of your fiance's family, a confrontation with his mother could make things really awkward. So if I was in your position I wouldn't say anything to her -- unless she says something along the same lines in the future, then it may warrant speaking up.
1 person likes this
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
Wait. Isn't celebrating her son's birthday an enjoyable event? What's up with this woman?
I hope you can learn to live with her ")
1 person likes this
@kristinad (185)
• United States
19 Dec 10
hello thenextnoel
it is going to be hard but i will have to find a way
@webearn99 (1742)
• India
19 Dec 10
I think "leaving it alone" is the choice. The lady has had to celebrate the festival and also make it a special day as it is her son's birthday, all on the same day! This shows she loves both Jesus and her son with her whole heart.
After all these years it can become a little bit tiresome. Next time you meet her give her a big hug and tell her that you really appreciate her work.
1 person likes this
@MakingCents (743)
•
19 Dec 10
Wow, I can't believe she said that about her own son! This is a tough position to be in for you. For one, you are the girlfriend, not the wife (yet) so stepping up and confronting her could put you in a really bad spot. If it escalates to an argument your husband will have to choose sides between you and his mom. And there will be no easy way to explain to him what the argument is about.
That being said what she said was very hurtful. Perhaps this year you should let things go. And then next year just plan a big to-do for his birthday. Plan it without talking to anyone, make some cake and dinner plans with your friends and invite his family.
After-all, if you are going to be married, you need to start establishing your own traditions and the tradition should be, birthday for hubby on the 24th, Christmas on the 25th.
1 person likes this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
19 Dec 10
My husband's birthday is on December 27 and his parents did the exact same thing to him. He never got a special birthday celebration until he met me. His parents actively told him, to his face, throughout his childhood they didn't have the time or money to make his birthday special since it was during the holidays and that was more important.
I detest his parents.
@shaggin (71662)
• United States
30 Dec 10
What did she mean rewanded? I think what she said is horrible. For me if my son was born on Christmas eve I would still celebrate his birthday and Christmas eve as well. I think a baby born on Christmas eve is nice. I think what you did for him was really kind and that she sounds like a pretty rude uncaring woman. I know a few people who were born on Christmas eve and I've never heard anyone say anything nasty like that about it.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
hello kris,
She should be rejoicing to have his son and x-mas eve on same date for many reasons.
One is,wasn't it rewarding to celebrate two occasions in one date?
Well,just leave it,and do not argue.
Just throw a grand party for him ,a grand one that his mom has never did in his entire life and invite his mom and show her what she never have done with his son before.
How could a mother say such word...what a crap.
Happy Holiday and advance Happy Birthday to your husband to be.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
19 Dec 10
Am I wrong or were you speaking about your fiance on her. As she seemed to divert the discussion to her selfish feelings.
I would say it would make Christmas celebration even more enjoyable as Christmas is about togetherness and what better way to celebrate alongside a birthday.
I would probably suggest that next time you are in private you say I realize you feel that your Christmas is spoiled but I will be celebrating my fiance's birthday simultaneously. Hopefully she can gut it and understand that as parents we are second at best when it comes to our children.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
20 Dec 10
It is horrible for her to say such thing about her own son. But anyhow, I think it is best just to leave it alone and no need to confront whatsoever,l because that will cause a war between mother a son and later as you become her daughter-in-law, things will get even worst. I hope you will have a good Birthday party with your partner, have a nice day
@commonground (367)
• United States
20 Dec 10
I think I'd just leave it alone. You can have a celebration of his birthday on Christmas eve and invite the family. It will be their choice to come or not.
I would just go on and act like I never heard what she said. It's best not to start your relationship with your future mother in law on a negative note. If this is something that has bothered her for years then you will not make the situation any better by causing a stink over it. Just ignore what she said. And do not tell your fiance. It will only cause hurt.
