would u break up if ur lover moved far away due to their working position?

@smiley83 (1534)
Malaysia
December 19, 2010 5:05am CST
hey friends.... well, if your partner or lover gotten the opportunity to work overseas, would you allow her/him to go and stay committed to each other no matter how far they could be.. OR, you would force them to choose between you and the work? I have seen lots of relationships that have ended simply coz of far distance relationship! lack of trust and lack of DAILY CONTACTS have caused the ends to so many couples!! to me, I don't mind to have him contacting me once or twice a week..but, the most important thing is to have trust and commitment among each other to stay connected no matter how far... so, what do you think? would you break up or force them to choose between you and the work or to travel along?
5 people like this
37 responses
@jeffrynov (130)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 10
I don't care about whatever my lover does for living as long as we are happy as the way we are just enjoy the relationship to avoid stress or distrust make a video call !! and see if she/he been doing well or doing stupid things we would know soon or later rather she/he is cheating or doing some nasty stuff so do I !!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Dec 10
hi smiley If my husband had been forced to work overseas I would have gone with him as most long distance relationships do not last simply because they do not get to see and feel and touch each other and God gave us these senses to keep our love growing.long distance takes a real toll on loving and being loved. So yes' I would have gone with him,Iam a widow now and when he moved to California he sent for me and the kids and mymom and sister aqlso moved to California.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
The distance is really gonna test the relationship. If it's meant to be, then no matter how wide the space between you, the relationship is going to work out. However, if it's mostly a casual relationship, then someone's gonna give in to temptation pretty soon...
1 person likes this
• Mexico
21 Dec 10
Hi smiley: I think that if I make part of a relationship, impositions are not good for the sake of it. However I understand that for some relationships distance is an important factor to take in account. I think that both parts should talk before making a decition like this because it will affect the whole relationship and people have to be strong to face a problem like this. ALVARO
1 person likes this
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
23 Dec 10
My bf is working in another country for 9 months now and we are still together, thank God! I did allow him to go there, of course i can't force him to stay in our country that doesn't have any future for him and for us. It's hard to be in a relationship like this and we really thought we are ready to face this kind of situation, but i guess we were wrong. We have a lot of misunderstandings lately and i wish i never did let him go to that country. I wish we did suffer together here than suffer this kind of situation apart. We talk 4-5times a week so communication is never really a problem to us, it's just the trust that makes us crazy these days. It's a long story but i am trying to trust him now..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
I'm in a sort of long distance relationship when my bf goes off working overseas every 3 months, but I don't have to break up with him if he leaves for his career. I know it really feels sad when he's about to leave for work. Somehow, I feel like I'm getting used to it and have accepted our situation. I won't have to be selfish to let him choose between me and his job. Anyway, constant communication still makes us one big happy couple despite the distance. ^_^
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
19 Dec 10
Well, since I was a career Army NCO, there were many times my wife and I were states, or even oceans a part for extended periods. There was never a time when my wife demanding I choose between our marriage and the military. But I can't say that for every military couple. I saw many marriages break up because of such ultimatums, on the other hand, I saw many great soldiers leave the military also. Now that we are civilians, if my wife got an assignment overseas, and we couldn't afford to have me move with her, I'd have to understand, since she already proved she does.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71659)
• United States
31 Dec 10
If they were only moving away for a very short time then I might stay in the relationship. If they were moving permanently or for a very long time say longer then a month and there was no way I could move and be with them then yes I would end the relationship. Its to hard to have a long distance relatioship no matter how much I loved someone.
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Long distance relationships usually dont last anyway. The thing is one of them will met another because they have needs which needs to be fullfilled. Understandable. Personally i would try to see of both could go and break it off if not. Even if one desided to have a friend to fullfill needs sooner or later the special needs friend would become more than just a friend. Understandable. Then again sometimes preganancies occur. And that really changes things.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
21 Dec 10
I think that is not a big deal into a relationship. Career or jobs is not the hindrances for lovers to be happy and continue their relationship. Because the purpose of love is to bring people near to their heart not bring people apart and hurt
• India
26 Jan 11
Hie I will obviously not end the relationship with my lover. Cause might be today or tomorrow there will be a time when you have to face such situations. and it also depends upon your partner that how much he/she loves you. a barrier may also be caused because of the distance but maintaining that sacrificed love is the most crucial thing one can do for a lover. for me i would certainly not end the relationship with my partner. may it be a long distance or no.
@Aaleexix (2290)
• India
19 Dec 10
Distance is a barrier in relation. It is said that far from eyes far from mind. It is right that every relation breaks for distance. But distance may crates misunderstanding in relation. Another main point in case of relation is how much we are committed and loyal towards our relatives. Distance can't do any harm in the relation of committed and loyal person.
1 person likes this
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
Actually based on the two responses in your discussion two opposite suggestion mentioned one is you will end your relationship with him the other is go on. So for me no problem about distance there are many ways to communicate with him, through this technology nothing is far away. Then if you really love him and he love you distance is no problem what you need is understanding, trust, love and sacrifice which all are the definition of true love... see you around
@doggydimon (1369)
• Philippines
19 Dec 10
You don't have to break up just because he or she is moving away to pursue his/her career. If you do mind your parnter's well being, you won't let your relationship be in its way. You just have to find ways to keep the fire or romance alive even if you are far apart. Yes, you are right about lack of trust and lack of contact maybe some causes of long distance relationships. But if you trust and really love each other, you wouldn't have to worry bout a thing. All will be in its proper course if you really do care bout each other. I should know because I am lucky enough to have friends who are in that situation and have endured it for the longest time and still, they are happily together.
1 person likes this
@meenneixz (668)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
Long distance relationship doesn't work for me. I have a girlfriend before that for some family reason she need to live in place that is far from our place. At first we keep on sending message to each other, calling each other, until we keep on touch not so often. And the time comes that I have no ideas of her whereabouts and i just hear from my friend that somebody is courting her and they would always go out for a date, i was pissed off and hurt after hearing that fact.But still i believe that trust and commitment can make long distance relationship works.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
20 Dec 10
Well first, I wouldn't have a "lover" unless I was married to them. If I was married to them, then I'd be moving with them, as dedicated married lovers do. If it's just a boyfriend or girlfriend, well then it depends. If I planned to marry them, then I would carefully consider how far away, and long we'll be a apart. This separation will either show how much we really do love each other, or it will show we really do not. However, being apart for too long will ultimately break apart the relationship. Relationships are dynamic. They are either getting closer together, or farther apart.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
20 Dec 10
Hi dear, If this is the case, for me I happened to live separately, I am sure that I will be more closer to my partner. If they separates due to the distance, they are not really in love or once they are moved off, they might have attracted with someone better than what they already have. If it happens in my case, I think will love here more deeper. Because, if the love is specific and exclusively cherished for one with more, it won’t make any difference wherever they are. Also, it doesn’t mean that if we live together only we can love each other. I know many of my friends are in the gulf areas working and they get rarely any time to communicate or meet each other. But most of them are in a good relation and they love REALLY each other. I think distance is not an obstacle, if there is REAL love. Thank-s
20 Dec 10
This is a tough one. Depending on many different issues really. If the relationship wasn't that great or it was early into the relationship then i may just go for the job. If i had been with my partner for such a long time and loved her then i would find it to hard to leave her. I would hope that if the job paid well and was secure and my love was strong with my partner then she may also consider moving with me so that the relationship continues. I could forget the job and stay for love, then if the relationship ended i would regret missing out on a job i may have wanted so much. Trust and love are the main things, but no matter what you are never going to know what the other person is up to when in a different country, no matter how many times they contact you. This is the life and times that we now live in. Many people do split as the distance is too far, they lose the trust, they want them with them and when things go wrong they are noth there in person to comfort you. Distance isn't always good. If they were your loved one then surely be with them rather than thousands of miles away.
20 Dec 10
for e personally if the relationship was serious then i would try to go with them if allowed, if there was no children involved as it would be hard for them.
• India
20 Dec 10
I will not break up with him if he goes and yeah it is the trust you should have up on each other.