What do you do when your friend likes the same girl?

Netherlands
December 22, 2010 9:25am CST
I've been hanging out with friends lately, and I feel like I'm really starting like this girl I know. The problem is, so does my friend, as he tells me about everything. I'm really trying to think of a solution but I just can't think of one, so I thought let's see what all myLot people have for me.
1 person likes this
8 responses
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
There's nothing you can do but back off. Just remember, the next time you like a girl, tell it immediately to a friend. It's like a mark. Whoever makes the first one gets something like a reserve. If you force yourself into the situation, it'll seem as though you're trying to get ahead of your friend. It's like a 'bro code' or something although it's more implied.
• Netherlands
22 Dec 10
I get what you're saying & thanks for your comment. Though isn't that like just giving up, I mean, does he have more right than I do to have a relationship with her? I don't think she knows from either of us that we actually like her.. Not that I don't want him to be happy or anything, I just wonder if that's like giving up, and I'm not really like that.
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
Technically, both of you have the same right. What i'm trying to say is preserve the given respect you and your friend share. If you don't wanna give up then find another way that won't seem like you're trying to get ahead of him or your friendship might get compromised.
• Netherlands
22 Dec 10
True true. I think the smartest thing to do is just tell him how I feel and just explain the situation. That's probably best for both of us
@ScatManx (13)
24 Dec 10
Dont try to get even with them just try and show them that your the obvious choise to go out with or get with and not your friend, but try not to lose your friendship and tell them to back off your you'll beat their but face in? but seriously dont have a fight over a girl most of the time their not worth it (trust me) and if you and your friend are truley friends then you wouldn't let something like this get between you. :D
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
First off thanks for your comment. I think you're exactly right, I wouldn't ever want to lose a friend for a girl that we both, or just one of us likes. It's just not worth the damage. Also I think I'm just going to tell him and see whatever he has to say, then see what happens. Just be nice to the girl and be a good friend and maybe it'll give a nice result! Thanks for your comment!
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
24 Dec 10
I think it's OK to let your friend know that you also like this girl. And then you can have a fair compete. Let the girl to make a decision. She can choose one from you, or probably she won't choose any one from you. It all depends on her. I don't think it will have an effect on your friendship. I love China
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Yeah, I guess talking to my friend is the best thing to do. Thanks for you comment & Happy Holidays!
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
I've been in a few situations like this where a few of my guy friends actually like the same girl. I've tried a few different approach as well and the thing that worked for me is trying not to interfere with whatever is going on with anyone in my peer group. It's always best to let them think what they truly want for themselves 'cause it's always best to learn that way. I serve as a shock absorber to some of their rants, someone they can listen to and that's it.
• Netherlands
22 Dec 10
Thanks alot. What I don't want though is to always be and stay the 'good friend', the one they come to to talk and share all their problems. I mean it's great to have them open up to you and just let them be theirselves, but usually they see you more than a friend than an actual boyfriend. But perhaps in the end a relationship is all about opening up and feeling good being with that someone..
• China
24 Dec 10
Proper approach is to let your girlfriend choose between you and your friend.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Probably yeah, I'll just wait & see what happens! Thanks for the comment.
@anitoton (389)
• Kolkata, India
24 Dec 10
yes this is a common problem is in university.and this multi like affects the friends ship too.when both friends come to know that they are waiting for a same girl.and no one is going to sacrifice. i think solution is to tell him that how much you like her.it has two results either he will get jealous or will listen to you and will leave her.
• Netherlands
24 Dec 10
Yeah, the last thing I want to happen is that our friendship will suffer under it. I'll just tell him and see what he has to say. Thanks for your comment!
22 Dec 10
Well thats happen with almost guys out there but the thing is that how you are going to take that relationship and do you just like that girl and just want to spend some time with her or you are very serious about her,so either case you should talk to your friend and let them know what you think ans see where they are standing if they are honest to you it should be solved very quickly.....
• Netherlands
22 Dec 10
Thanks for your advice. I think I'm going to have a talk with my mate, but first make up my mind about what I really want with her. It's kind of hard to say as I just started to notice that I really like her, but I'm going to try.
@lunion (64)
• Indonesia
22 Dec 10
Ha2.. don't worry about a thing. it's natural, it's bound to happen some time or later in the future. anyway, i think it's a fair fight, everybody deserve a chance. you should just tell your friend that you like her too & you want to get close to her like he does. if he's a good friend, then he will welcomes your challenge. don't worry, he shouldn't break your friendship or anything. good luck! hope this help
• Netherlands
22 Dec 10
Thanks alot, I like the 'strategy' (: certainly going to tell my mate how I feel about her.