How often do you let misguided emotions drive you?
By bounce58
@bounce58 (17387)
Canada
January 3, 2011 8:27pm CST
Over this holiday break, I have been a witness of a misguided emotion that nearly broke up a relationship. Although I was in the front seat of the drama, I felt it was not my place to say anything, so I kept my mouth shut.
Until today, anger is still in the air that participants of this real-life drama that I am witnessing are still walking on egg shells.
Question is...
Have you ever been in a position where your anger and emotions, drive people away? That you forsake relationship because all you see is red? That even though the real reason your angry is not of importance, but your heart is already broken, your head is already heated, and your mouth has already ran roughshod, the relationships hanged in the balance?
If you can relate, then I would appreciate some comments.
3 people like this
12 responses
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
5 Jan 11
Funny discussion, Bounce... I seem to be guilty of all the things you mentioned. :p I definitely drive people away when I am angry. You see, my anger does not quickly dissipate. Sometimes, I even bring home this emotion because I am that transparent--I can't hide the fact that I am seething mad. My misguided emotions cause people to stay away from me until they notice that I have already simmered down. It's a good thing the people around me understands where my moods come from. :)
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
7 Jan 11
Haha! I seem to recall this about you. A discussion about emotions too, where you said you go to a quiet place/prayer room at work.
That would be nice if I also had a place like that at work or at home. Otherwise, like you I'll also be carrying out my emotions on my sleeve. Which is really not a good thing.
Until of course I find a San Mig Dry!
Or what is that other one with a 'blue' on its name?
Or what is that other one with a 'blue' on its name?
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
7 Jan 11
This is one of those things that really is difficult to be in that kind of a position. I've been there and though it did end up hurting some relationships that I had in the past, it is also something that I've learned to deal with in my life. For me when I find that I am as angry as you've described, I know that I have to remove myself from a situation for a period of time. After that is done I'm usually able to speak to the person that I'm angry with in a more rational manner.
1 person likes this
@nickventere (1420)
• Zambia
4 Jan 11
I don't know if I had to respond to this post.
Well, reason is that I have never been overtaken by my emotions, misguided or not, to drive people away. Many a time that my emotions are invoked, after a provocation of course, I usually want to contain myself. Sometimes, it won't even show to the people around me. I don't know how I do it, but I guess it is something that is in me.
@nickventere (1420)
• Zambia
9 Jan 11
Thanks, bounce58! Well, I love to enjoy peacefulness. And believe me, I never let anything or anyone spoil my day! LOL
@jalucia (1431)
• United States
4 Jan 11
Ummm, wow! I don't really know what to say. I think that many of us have been in this position. But, I have to say that, even though I find it hard to do, anger should never lead our interaction with others. I think that we should all strive to be the best person that we can be, even in the face of conflict. If you put your best face forward than you will be able to sleep easier at night, and so won't others. It's hard though, not to let our emotions get the best of us. It takes practice and, still, many of us never get it right. GL and remember that times heals all. Just have a good heart.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
6 Jan 11
You're definitely right! It takes a lot of practice. I don't have problems with it, as I can maintain as straight face even if I am dying inside. It's just hard to see somebody else getting their emotions run them wild. And to know that even if you try to appease them, you still can't, because they are still in the heat of the moment.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
5 Jan 11
Anger is a very strong emotion and that which scares people and/or can anger them as well. The thing is that when allowing anger to take that much control...we can lose ourselves and other people. Should we let anger win? Only when it saves us. Have I give in to anger? Yes. Did it save me? A couple of times. Did it cause me loss? Yes. I think that there is no anger that has no reason but I do think it should be carefully considered.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
4 Jan 11
I can honestly say that I use to be this way, I use to allow my emotions get the best of me. Where as I would carry them over to the first person that was in front of me. I would feel horrible later.
Having the boyfriend I do now(five years), he has brought the best of me out. Meaning that I value our relationship so much that I take deep breaths and not allow my anger to vent out.
He is such a passive and understanding person that it relates over to anyone he speaks to.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
7 Jan 11
Then I guess you found your perfect match! It takes a certain kind of person to bring the best of people. And if he does that to you, then lucky you!
I am not as lucky as you, so I just resort to taking deep breaths. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn't.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Jan 11
No People aren't driven away , It is I who Never is as close ever again. Stick ans stones may break my bones but words create permanent damage! It took me 15 years to even consider to see a George Clooney film after he demeaned David Caruso. And I am still very distant to my sister's boyfriend after last July he said I was crazy. But staying away is best for Anyone I get angry with, It is safer for Them. I guess it would be better if I saw red and I blanked out and can't remember . But I see and Hear better when I'm angry and I remember it as if it happened last hour! So instead of waiting around for them to do or say it again and make me More angry, I just write them off.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Jan 11
Oops. I didn't really answer the question , What a Ditz!lol! I now know I don't have a misguided emotion . Good or Bad I will follow it all the way to gates of hell if I have to. They are mine and therefore not misguided!
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
5 Jan 11
we are all born able to feel and think
we don't feel and think the same way but everyone has been misguided before
maybe they let their hearts rule over their heads
or the other way around
it takes time to achieve balance between the two
once we achieve that, we can actually see things more clearly and only take action when the time is right
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
4 Jan 11
Misguided emotions can quickly lead you into a troubling situation. I try not to let these things happen to me. Relationships can suffer greatly if our hearts overrule our heads., When we are misguided, we can be easily fooled.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
4 Jan 11
For me it is normal keep up the normal attitude in driving so that you are not get lose at the life ahead.
@freymind (1351)
• Philippines
5 Jan 11
I learned from my partner that if there's a problem between us, we should take a break for awhile before talking about so that we already have a clear head instead of shouting at each other and making the situation worst than better.
I just hope that this people you are referring to will see the bad effect of what they are doing in their relationship.
I wish them well and pray they fix this before everything went out of hand.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
7 Jan 11
I kind of admire people like that. People who can step away from a heated argument, let their minds clear up, and then resolve the issue with cooler heads. I'm the complete opposite. I would like things resolved right away as it usually eats at me if I don't do anything about it.
Thanks.
@calpro (930)
• India
4 Jan 11
Hi bounce58,
It happens with most of us when we reach emotional threshold, It can cause many problems like relationship break or career being hampered etc. The best way to reduce these kinds of effects is to keep our emotions in control.
When I am angry with some person or my situation, I just tend to keep myself calm and think about its after effects on me and my career also my personal life. When I come to an understanding that they will not have much effect on me my anger subsides.
It is always better to judge with mind rather than heart. I just think my actions should never put me in loss. Use words precisely and economically, and it will keep us out of emotions and problems.
Happy Living
Calpro
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
7 Jan 11
Hello calpro.
But sometimes, when people tend to be quiet, specially when they are trying to keep calm, and trying to think, other people take it as passiveness. And could cause other people to take more advantage of you.
But I guess as long as you are at peace with yourself, that's the more important thing, right?
Thanks.
