friends that change

United States
January 6, 2011 3:37pm CST
I've grown up almost my entire life with the same best friend. Even when we were living 400 miles apart we remained super close. Recently, however, she came down for a visit and although it went mostly well it seems to me that she is very different from before. Whether it is a lack of maturity or just her personality now, I'm unsure. Have you ever had a friend change on you, and did you remain friends?
1 person likes this
12 responses
• India
7 Jan 11
friends are also humans not gods they will react to the situation they are in,that effects his/her attitude,it is not that she as changed opinion on you.it is not needed to disconnect from her,instead you behave according to her,this may help you keep up with her. you stay as same,with in no time she will become normal with you how she was before. my suggestion is please do not ask that "why are you different" it may effect your relation or it may lead to disconnection.its a warning. i also experienced this situation with my friends,but it turned to normal with in no time. YOU STAY SAME AS YOU ARE BEFORE WITH HER. another warning do not be angry with her,i repeat no ego.
@jhartana (1085)
• Australia
7 Jan 11
I still have my best friend of 20 years and I still meet him, even recently when I went back to my home country for holiday and meeting him at one day and having dinner together. It's good to see him again, although we're living long distance away from each other. He's still the same as before although he's now a hard working person and a family man with his two sons. We both feel happy when seeing each other. I don't when I will be going back there again but when I do I will definitely see him again.
• Indonesia
7 Jan 11
Of course, Why not? making friends doesn't mean that we keep them as what we want or what we want them to be. Having friends means we also could understand them even when they are changing. The better way to reduce curiosity is to ask them what makes them change. They might keep something or they might grown up into someone they idolize or else. It doesn't matter as long as you two could get together.
@sylvia13 (1850)
• Nelson Bay, Australia
7 Jan 11
I had a very good friend many years ago, but one day I went into a lot of trouble to visit this friend and the impression I got was that we were like the letter "Y"! She had gone one way, I had gone another! One just has to accept that circumstances change and so do people! It hurt at first, but then I was able to make new friends, as life certainly moves on!
@meenneixz (668)
• Philippines
7 Jan 11
hi, I have a childhood friends,we were friends since we were young and until now that we are old already. Sometimes if there is a holiday, and we are all free we still gather together, have fun with videoke and drinking or chattering with each others about recent life or remembering the foolishness done before. I did not feel any changes in our friendship though each of one of us have other friends already.
@SIMPLYD (90966)
• Philippines
7 Jan 11
I have one closest friend , who in our younger years was not my best friend. It's our other friend who passed away already that was her best friend . With her best friend gone, we became closer and best of friends. Although she's already living abroad with her own family, they would always come home for a vacation almost yearly. We have grown so much closer than before. We communicate thru email, although not on a very frequent basis because we are both busy at work. When they come home we always go together on outings. I can say that we remained friends and closer than before.
• China
7 Jan 11
hi, I have been in your situation. one girl I grew up with just went to another school and when she came back to visit, I dauntingly found that intimate feelings between us was gone. didnt know why. another friend now lives in a small city. even we cant meet each other, we still chat online like we were still together! so I think it is destiny. just accept it!
• China
7 Jan 11
well,I think everybody have change by some reason or some cause,live in a new place would change someone or the job changed.everything is possible to happen.even change by ages.change by before marriage to after marriage.well that we just didn't aware,but it has changes,though the changed you have mentioned I have the same feeling.but maybe you also had change, maybe your friend has the same feeling about your changed but she or he didn't tell you about that ;-) when new friends come close, some old friends walk away because they have change.
• Philippines
7 Jan 11
i have also childhood friends that until now.. we're friens still but.. i also have friends from childhood that change.. they don't even recognize me as their friend from childhood.. but it's ok for me because.. i think it's just that people have different values.. :)
6 Jan 11
I do think that people will change over the years as our experiences will mould how we think. If you are seperated, you will both start having different social lives and hang around with different people so the bond won't be the same, but that doesnt mean you should stop being best friends. The fundimental reasons why you love each other should still be there and you should try to ride this out. I have had a best friend for 30 odd years and we live 1500 miles apart but with internet we can talk anytime. Odd thing is we don't all that often talk, but when we do its like we never stopped talking. There is a bond that will never be broken, even when she annoys me so much i want to scream. We are so very different but we still care for each other and will always be there for each other. No matter what. Because we know we will never be able to replace that friendship.
@LadyMarissa (12160)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I've had the same best friend for 59 years!!! Yes, we went through times we didn't see eye to eye; but when we came out the other side we were still best friends & even closer!!! I wouldn't be in a rush to find a new best friend as I found it worth the effort to understand her changes & she worked at understanding mine. Best friends are much like spouses...it takes time & patience!!!! Plus, it's really NOT that easy to replace a best friend as most people don't even understand what it means to be a best friend. Oh yes, I forgot to say...I lived 600 miles away from my best friend for 20 years. It did take a little effort to get to know each other again. Now we are closer than before!!!!
@dem131 (19)
• United States
6 Jan 11
Yes, I've had a friend that started acting different towards me when I got married and she was already married. I really don't know what happened and we had been friends since childhood. Although, I still consider her as a friend, I'm not sure if she does.