how to gain more confident?

@tiina05 (2318)
Philippines
January 17, 2011 4:10pm CST
hello everyone, I have a problem with myself and I cant even take it away. it is when I am facing lot of people in front of me I feel like I am really shy, That I cant even speak loud because I am shaking. It is my weakness! that is why all of my reports end up failed. how can I improve my confidence facing people? help me please...
2 people like this
9 responses
17 Jan 11
First of all, practice those reports (or part of them) in front of a few of your friends, maybe even a group of three or so. I'm sure when they see why you are asking for their help that they will be more than happy to support you. After a few attempts, you will feel yourself becoming more and more familiar with talking to a group. Another thing that helps is managing your time when you are actually giving the report. When you feel yourself becoming nervous, or that you are losing your hold on your performance, take a few seconds to compose yourself. This could be done simply by walking to the other side of the screen, pausing between sentences to add effect or turning over a sheet of paper from your notes. Whatever it is, do something that takes your mind away from your audience, and focus on that small task. You will feel refreshed when you continue with the report. Something that I have had to use in the past is recording myself when I am preparing for a speech. That way, not only can I identify sections that I need to pay particular attention to, but I can also see areas in which I do well. By identifying those areas, you then know that it is in these areas where you can focus your mind, because you are not so preoccupied with the content of the report itself. Good luck :)
@tiina05 (2318)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
hello thanks for your response, thank you so much for a professional advice I really learn for what have you said. And now I have some techniques to practice myself doing a report or facing lot of people. I am just being weak of reporting but as usual report is a report whether you like it or not I must. thank you again .
19 Jan 11
You're welcome. When you have a chance, tell me how you are progressing :)
@chavezrmc (5911)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
Its a natural feeling to be nervous in front of so many people. Even those who are famous they can still feel it. What you have to do is to prepare yourself of what you're going to do. You have to be knowledgeable of the topic if you are going to discuss or to have a speech. Mastery of the subject can create confidence inside you. How can you be confident if you are not so sure of what you are going to do. Last to think which is very important is to think that, "If others can, why can't i" With this thought in your mind you can beat almost everything. Good luck.
@tiina05 (2318)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
hello thanks for your response, I believe in you, really! it really makes me fell confident now particularly with what you have said that " IF others can, Why can't I" that is true, why other people can do confidently reporting , so maybe i can also do what they did. Just always be prepared and learn of what more about your topics . right? thank you so much
@jricky1 (6803)
• China
18 Jan 11
The first thing you should do is to tell yourself that you are good and excellent!Believing yourself is the best way to make you success,once i was like you the same situation.But i tried more times and try to speak in a public place,the more times you tried,the more confident you are,so just do it,it's not a big deal.If you don't even believe in you,nobody could do anything to help you...Don't be shy,everything will be ok.
@tiina05 (2318)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
thank you for your response, hey! thank you. yes, now I just realize that it is better to believe in yourself first before delivering your report because if you didn't believe of what you got even people wont believe you either. right?I just learned from what have you say. thank you , thank you.
@emarie (5451)
• United States
18 Jan 11
I know how you feel. I get terrible stage fright myself. Practice and just plain guts helps you improve. Talking in front of small crowds like a few people you know is a start. Then slowly start speaking to larger crowds. Try to video tape yourself and watch it over to see how you look and what the people will see when they see you. I used to pick a point above the audiences head and pretty much read/present to that. Don't look down at a paper all the time, look up. If you are on stage, it shouldn't be that bad because you won't see people if there are lights on you. Just imagine people aren't there. Go through the presentation in your head and work it out before it happens. Hopefully doing that enough times can get you at least used to speaking in public a but more. GOOD LUCK!
@tiina05 (2318)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
hello thanks for your response, Yes, it is really hard to face in front of many people specially if they are all focus of what you have saying. Yes, I will improve myself because I know it is for my own good. And if I had a report again I will record myself to see what is the needing place to improve myself. right? thank you.
@sk66rc (4257)
• United States
17 Jan 11
There's an old saying, "practice makes perfect!" Start with people you know & you feel comfortable with, like your family & friends... Keep the first crowd small, start with 1 or 2... Start talking to them about anything... Let them know what you're doing so they can keep focus on you... Once you start feeling comfortable, start adding more people... Next week, try it with 2, then following week, try it with 4, and so on... Go out to dinner where there's a lot of people so that you can start getting used to the idea of talking around a lot of people... This way you can get used to talking in crowd & strangers...
@tiina05 (2318)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
hello thanks for your response, that is a very nice suggestion from you .I just notice that all of you have the same suggestion in different ways. And by the way as a crowd getting bigger I cant even speak but as what you have said "practice makes perfect" yes, I will practice more to improve myself. thank you.
@greenline (14855)
• Canada
24 Jan 11
Many people have the same problem. This is confidence issue. And, not just for this matter, but for many other matters too, one good way to overcome the lack of confidence is through experience. After one gains the experience, one will feel relaxed and confident to do that which one had all along felt so scared.
@katie0 (5211)
• Japan
18 Jan 11
knowing your limits, qualities and flaws. insecurity only comes to those who don't know their selves well enough because when someone comes along and says "you're this and that" you just be confused if that is true, now when you know your self you are sure about life and we can't avoid criticism and what others are going to think so when you know your self you can pass through that wall of other people's eyes and judgement.
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
hi! I can understand how you feel when you face a lot of people and your knees and hands are shaking terribly. I have experienced the same things when I was in grade school. I was the shiest person in school and everyone was teasing me. I think I was worse than you are back then, I get shaky when my teacher would ask me to answer because I was afraid to face my classmates. But I conquered my fear! I read books and joined clubs to improve my communication skills. You just have to believe in yourself that you can do it. You can actually practice in front of the mirror and see yourself doing the report over and over again. When I do reporting in class, that's what I do. I just practice my report in front of the mirror to master my report and to act confident in class. I have joined my first oratorical contest and won! Just don't think about the people in front of you and concentrate on what you will have to say. It's mind over matter.
@pogi253 (1586)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
Never appear down on yourself. "Get rid of negative self-talk," Gilchrist stresses. "Reinstate with themes such as, 'I am good enough, I am successful, and I am loved.' If you believe in yourself, others will, too. Loving yourself will also give your personality the winner aspect. Okay, so don't be too confident and love yourself so much that you become a narcissist. Keep it to a healthy least. Know that you are valuable, special and one of a kind.