Anyone have sole custody of their kids?
@shaggin (74987)
United States
January 18, 2011 9:27am CST
Since my ex is a worthless drug addict I do not want him having custody of my kids. If the courts force me to allow him visitation we will have to work that out but right now I just want to go and get sole custody of them.
I looked up online and it said that if the other parent has issues with drugs thats pretty much the only way one parent can get sole custody because usually its joint custody or something like that.
Has any of you ever tried to get sole custody? What was the outcome of it? I would love to know anyones experiences in this matter.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@la_chique (1498)
•
18 Jan 11
I guess you just have to do what's right by your kids. If the court thinks that your ex is a danger to the kids, then they will probably give you sole custody. On the other hand though, you do need to consider how your kids feel about this and it wouldnt just be him not being able to see them, but would mean them not being able to have a relationship in whatever form with their father. No matter what you or anyone else thinks of him, or even how awful a person he actually is, he is still their father, and the last thing that you want is for your kids to grow up resenting you or having emotional issues because THEY are not allowed to see their father.
Maybe occasional supervised visits at your control might be a better option. If the kids dont want to see him, then they dont. I'm not sure how the system works where you are, and it can even be down to the court that you go to. I dont know how old your kids are or how capable they are of voicing their opinions. Have you tried having a chat to them, and seeing how they feel?
Good luck with it all though. I am sure its a really difficult time for you right now. Just try not to let your emotions get in the way of the long term effects.
1 person likes this
@la_chique (1498)
•
18 Jan 11
Yes, I do agree in that respect and it sounds like he's quite badly addicted. For your kid's sake I hope he can change. Although, if he's already being irresponsible though before court, then it would be best for sole custody. I mean, you'd think he'd be on his best behaviour right now if he cared enough.
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
19 Jan 11
My ex didn't get clean but he did manage to stay clean during times when he had them. He had to or he'd lose out on his time with them. He did actually do things with them that they remember fondly. Later on, he thanked me for being so firm about that and giving him the chance. And so did my girls.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 11
I actually know of only one person that has sole custody of his children. That is the man that lives up the street from us and he has two children, a daughter that is eleven years old and a son that is seven years old. I'm not exactly sure what the reason is that he has sole custody of the kids, but I know that they don't ever get to see their mother. I believe that there was some abuse in their mother's past and that is the reason that she doesn't get to see them. What I can tell you from knowing these children is that they are pretty well adjusted.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
29 Jan 11
I am glad that they are well adjusted after what I am guessing they may have gone through. In a way I want the kids to have their father around and in another way its like I just wish he would disappear. When I go for sole custody I will probably allow visitation with their father say once a week or so. I guess it just depends on what happens in court.
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
19 Jan 11
I didn't get sole custody of my kids but it turned out okay anyway. After the first year he hardly ever came to see them. They spent more time waiting for him then being with him...after a while it was just on holidays which was fine with me. He probably won't even show up if you get joint custody...cross your fingers.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
19 Jan 11
I dont want that my poor kids waiting around to see their dad and having him not show up. How sad is that for them. I feel so sad for your kids having to go through that feeling like he didnt care about them. I'd rather my ex stay away for good then come in and out of their lives all the time depending on when he is stable and when hes not.
