will you keep it....left things of your ex-lover?

@asliah (11137)
January 22, 2011 9:41am CST
my ex-lover left some things here in my house and that is his favorite T-shirt, i kept it since we separated till now, even my sister told me that i need to take it away from me so i can forget him completely.but i did not.sometimes in order to moving on,we have to take away those things that keeps you think of him/her. will you keep it or take it away from you?
15 responses
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
30 Apr 13
I did not keep my ex-girlfriend's pictures for long though I wanted to because I did not want it to spoil my new relationship with my wife. I had them all burned one night before my wife came to visit me in my school. Now I do not have anything left from her, but memories only. It is hard to erase the memories bad or good, as it was my first love ever. Take care.
• Philippines
24 Feb 13
i am really confused of this matter, of keeping or taking away the things or any thing that have connection with my ex-lover... Eventually, my ex already returned everything I have given him and now I am unsure if I should do the same on his things that is in my possession... Honestly, I am in the urge of burning all of them but I am somehow doubtful in doing so.. eventually, I wanted to burn it in front of him! to give him an ultimatum, just like what he did to me.. I think it would be a great idea, right? :)
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
2 Sep 12
I had a relationship way back. It was a difficult situation then and I knew that it was bound to end soon. On the day that I thought that it was the last time I will be seeing him, I asked him to give me his shirt. It's been years now. i still have it kept somewhere in my closet. But I rarely remember about it...just now, after so long.
@NoWayRo (1061)
• Romania
8 Feb 11
Usually I return all his things, except for those that were given to me as a gift. Not for material reasons - the gifts don't have a lot of value, or otherwise I would not have accepted them in the first place - but I feel they are part of my past and my life experiences, with the good and the bad. Right after the breakup there are many things I'd rather forget, but 10, who knows, 20 years later, I might want to remember those things, so I keep around a few memories. It happened only once that an ex-boyfriend left a lot of stuff at my house, since he left the country. I kept everything around for a couple of years, he kept saying he'd be back to take it. But, after I had no communication with him for several months, I gave it all to charity. It was a space-taking nuisance, rather than a painful memory, at the time.
• Egypt
15 Sep 12
most of us will keep it if it was happy memories and left it if it not
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
24 Oct 12
I think there is nothing wrong when you keep those things but you should accept the reality that he is not anymore with you.Just cherish the moment he is with you and the happy moment you have been together and not cherish the hurtful and bad moments.
@akangirl (2436)
• India
23 Jan 11
I have still kept the things of my ex but only because we parted on mutual decision.Long distance relation was not working for us so we parted.Its was good for both of us.keeping a ex thing mostly depends on how you parted and how good or bad was the relation. Keeping a thing of your ex who has cheated,or the way you parted was bad then you should not keep his thing as it would constantly remind you of him and it could hamper in your moving forward in life and most importantly it would effect your self confidence.
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
My bf and I tried to break up and i tried to return the things he gave me to him. He never did accepted it back since he said it was already given to me. Well yes he has a point on that but I don't want to see all things that has a memory of him although it was legally mine. I wasn't able to give him his things back since we talked that day and decided not to break up. Other than that, i have never tried to give back his things since until now we are still together.
@Jacobus1919 (1683)
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
Well, I do still have some stuff that is owned by my ex. I have to return it pretty soon. Since, they are actually her's that were just lent to me. But, those stuff that was given by her, I won't. I would actually just keep them and it would serve as a memory of what we had before. I know it hurts so bad, but those are gifts which were given with love in the past.
• United States
23 Jan 11
Yeah I either gave the items back, offered them back and or got rid of them. As I did not want anything as a constant reminder. Knowing there was no way I was going to be back together with him, I simply did not want the reminder.
@jamuls (530)
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
it depends on the stuff. if i can use it then i'll keep it but if not then i would return them. especially if those things are for personal use. moving on is not achieved by throwing stuff or burning them, it's accepting the fact that you are no longer together and continue living your life. it's hard for some but easy for others... and i don't think that forgetting your ex or removing her completely out of your life is good. you've shared some very intimate, personal and delicate moments of your life to that said person. if things don't work out, give each other some space and when you finally accept everything that's happened, patch things up with her/him. i did it and i got myself a very good friend at the end.
23 Jan 11
me,...i'd rather keep things given to me and forget who gave it,..hehe!
@jasper40t (468)
22 Jan 11
Eventually, time i our greatest Healer!!, its prob ur sub-consious telling you to keep it around. But generally its when your next Lover is on the scene that you must make up your mind whether to keep it or Bin it. Personally i have kept things, but once you open up to another and tell them where the item came from, thats when youll know if its worth keeping. The other side is, your new Lover and you are walking along the street and your X-lover comes over and Comments on his T-shirt!, then your new lover would say "why do you still keep his t-shirt?", then you have to tell him why. For those reasons alone, its Better to give it back, or Bin it, or better still give it to someone else......
@annie_ako (102)
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
hmp..it is better to keep things given by your ex-bf 'coz even if he is not yours anymore but still think of the time that makes you happy with that boy..he was also a part of your life..so, just keep all of that 'coz the time you will throw that away means you are feel sorry for yourself and you even pull yourself down..be strong enough.. :)
@maria1081 (1251)
• Philippines
22 Jan 11
If the break up is still fresh and new we tend to do things without thinking. I mean we wanted to throw things that remind us of the person who broke our heart. But later I myself realize that we have to forget painful memories and remember the good memories in a way that we learn to forgive the person who hurt us. So in time even if you see things that remind you of him, you can just say its all in the past.