Am I Wrong About The School Trip?
January 24, 2011 7:40am CST
Okay, those of you that know me will be aware that we have recently moved back to the UK. Now, my daughter has been in school here for nine weeks now and we have had a letter home about a school residential trip which means she will be staying away from home for three days. My daughter who is nine years old, has never stayed away from home overnight before, and she has only been in the school for a short time. The idea of the trip is really upsetting my daughter so we have decided that she should not go this time, but she has agreed to go to the next residential trip in a few months time. We are all happy with this arrangement except for my mother in law who insists my daughter just 'has to go' and 'she will go' on this trip, but I think she forgets that my daughter hardly knows any of her classmates as it is and she is starting to upset my daughter and that upsets me. I don't think forcing my little girl to go on this trip will do her any benefit at all, it will only serve to upset her, and when she gets upset she feels sick and doesn't eat then my mother in law pipes up again to tell me my daughter is anorexic. So, back to the school trip, am I wrong, should I be forcing her to go even though I know she would spend from now until the trip getting upset?
1 person likes this
25 Jan 11
I suggest that you let your daughter stay at home. Let her attend the trip when she already make more friends so she can enjoy the trip more and when she is more ready. Since she is still new in that school she has adjusting to do. Give her time but encourage her to go next time.
25 Jan 11
I have to agree with you, you know what is best for your daughter and as you say there is always next time. My son had the chance to go on a residential trip just after he moved to a new school and he did not want to spend the time away as like your daughter he had never been away from home overnight he was just 9 at the time as well. Like you say forcing her is not going to benefit her at all. I am sure once she gets to know her classmates better and forms some strong friendships she will be happy to go on the next trip but these things take time.
• United States
24 Jan 11
Mother in laws do not always know best. I would not feel comfortable with my daughter being away from home for 3 days either, unless she and I were both comfortable with the people she'd be staying with. My kids have been in the same school since the beginning, so they know their classmates well, so if they were to spend a few days away from home with these classmates.. I may allow them to do it. But if they were uncomfortable I wouldn't force it on them at all.
24 Jan 11
Who knows, maybe your daughter might spend some quality time there, we'll never know. Going on a trip with people you don't know is terrifying at first but it could turn around and I think there's a high possibility that it would. Kids are all about fun and your daughter might actually have fun there.
25 Jan 11
The girl doesn't want to go don't force. Why your mother in law has a say in the matter in the first place. As you said she doesn't know her classmates and she will only be uncomfortable around them. Staying away from home for 3 days with people you hardly know can have a effect on her. Tell your mother in law that she got her chance at parenting.
• Cambridge, England
24 Jan 11
No, YOU are her mother and SHE doesn't want to go. There is NO reason to force her to go! All the same, a residential trip is an excellent way to make friends, if your daughter could bring herself to go, but the decision is yours and hers, not her grandmother's. I think you need to do a lot of talking with your daughter and your mother-in-law so that both parties can see the pros and cons of her going.