why is it hard to find love?

United States
January 27, 2011 11:00pm CST
Im 21 and a single mom, and i have been single since june 29th 2010. I have talked to guys since then but they all turned out to be playing games and acting childish. I am very mature for my age but it is so hard to find a guy who is mature and is ready to settle down. why is it that the dating world has changed? i wish things were simple. not so complicated, like having to do background checks to make sure ur not dating a child molester or a rapist, this world isnt safe anymore, so dating has become harder. why?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
31 Jan 11
I don't know if it has become harder or if the pressure to be with someone just becomes so much it seems harder. My advice would be to relax on finding someone and let it come to you. My best friend was single for the last few years. She felt so much pressure to be in a relationship she was miserable. She went on numerous dates but she couldn't find a decent guy. She found a lot of jerks though. She was pretty much resigned to the fact that she'd be alone when after a few times of asking her she gave in to meeting her mom's co-workers nephew. He was single and no kids, all the things she was looking for in a guy. They have been together for 6 months and I've never seen her so happy.
• United States
28 Jan 11
I remember when I was your age and you are young my dear, life is too short to worry about finding love at this time in your life. Take care of yourself first and you will find the right one it may take a few but you will know when it is right and he or she is the right one for you. I made the mistake of thinking it was love at first sight and ended up divorced and depressed for a long time but now I am 46 and happily married. Yes it took many relationships and some were terrible!! But I finally found the one!Take your time and Take care!!
@acey76 (1276)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
well, it's hard because you are looking for it :-) this is my favorite line and here it goes " Don't find Love, but let Love find you" you just ave to wait for the right moment.
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
28 Jan 11
Hmmmm. You are young and a single mom.Guys Are interested In singles more than Single moms.Besides this you will get your MR.right when the right Time Will come.So Don't worry too Much And keep dating and get your fingers crossed. have a nice day
@tod266 (85)
• Thailand
28 Jan 11
some time it like that but if you see the right one he will never change and always love you.
28 Jan 11
Friend, I feel your pains here, it is not that dating is harder now but dating the good ones is even harder than one can imagine. People tends to date with interior motives which is not good. I hope people realizes the whole essences of dating which will make dating an end product of marriage. Guys and Ladies let define our ways of life so that we can make this world a beautiful place to live.
• United States
28 Jan 11
Well first of all dating really isn't any harder than it ever was, people are just more educated and aware of the dangers and risks that have always been present. Secondly, unfortunately your age and motherhood do count against you. People who are ready for serious commitment in their young adulthood are very rare. Men who are willing to date a woman with a kid can be hard to find. So, it likely will take some time and effort for you to find someone that will work out in the long-term. Maybe you aren't looking in the right places, though?
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Jan 11
Hi Caydensmom, Dating didn't change...you did. You had children and that changes up everything. You can't just go out without having to find a sitter. And you have to be so careful of who you let into your life around your kids. Even the nice ones...you have to be careful about their involvement. The kids may love him but if you don't and the relationship doesn't work...well, that's just another loss for the kids. It's not an easy balance but the kids have to come first.
• United States
28 Jan 11
It does seem this way often times, although I have never had to do a background check on someone. Sometimes it is a matter of timing. I would think because of your child that time would be sort of an advantage. What I mean is that best for love to come at a slow pace then rushing into something that will disrupt your happy home. Take some time to date a little here and there and really assess if the person(s) you date are exactly what you would like and or not. I do wish you lots of love and a happy life with your child.
@tkonlinevn (6105)
• Vietnam
28 Jan 11
Oh, I don't think that making a date is too hard. It's only you have not found a suitable person with you. I suggest that you should stop looking for. You should live really well and happy. Love will go with you naturally. It go to me following that way :) Wish you're happy!
@mark98 (567)
• China
28 Jan 11
Do not worry, do you believe in love at sight, yes ,I believe. I'm sure one day you can find your lover.
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
I think that love is not hard to find, it's the person who can give you love that is difficult to look for. Love can be found everywhere as long as you yourself is ready to give it. I live in a different country but I guess even if we have different culture people's ways are similar and different at the same time. Its quiet hard to understand really how things goes with meeting someone. yes I think it would be best if the person you are dating is someone who is known to some friends of yours.As mothers we are very protective of our children and I dont blame you since we hear a lot of news about how cruel the world is. I'd say good luck and hope you find the one that you're looking for.
@Marmot (590)
• United States
28 Jan 11
I think the relation between people is more and more complicated, it is harder and harder to find a real lover. For me, most girls around me consider substance more than feeling. When they are going to hang out with someone, they consider about the wealth the guy have first. If the guy is rich and handsome, they will probably go out with him. But if the guy is poor, he may have no luck. Fortunately, I have found a my girl. Wish you can find your mate sooner. True love is easy to find, just keep looking, you can find it!
• United States
28 Jan 11
it is hard to find love because everyone has a different definition for it. The meaning is different to different people. So what you are looking for in a relationship may be very different to what others are looking for. Also 21 is a very young age to settle down. Most 21 year olds are trying to make it in the world and make money with a serious commitment at the back of their mind.