She did something I could never do, and I could not be any prouder !
By sunshine37
@sunshine37 (450)
United States
February 2, 2011 10:32am CST
My daughter got AB Honor Roll, and we had her breakfast at school yesterday. I was so proud of her. A little background here;
I had a very rough time in school with my learning disisblties, and being shy on top of that. If I brought a C home my parents where proud, because they knew I had worked hard. I barely graduated from high school, that is how bad it was for me.
All I have done since I had my children was pray they would not get my learning genes, and it would come easy for them. I did not want to see them struggle like I did. Well, with my youngest, I had to hold her back her 4th grade year. I didnt' have to, but I thought it was the best at the time. The work just did not click with her, and she was just way to shy ( worse than what I was ). It was a very difficult, and hurtful decision for me, with my educational background.
The "small rural" school with my permission, began her 5th grade year with testing for all sorts of disiblities, because for 6th grade she would attending a school that was very big, and hard, which my oldest daughter was already attending. Needless to say she didn't do well. They recommended for me to move her out of district to a school that was going to be smaller in order for her to cope. She was not responding to teachers or students very well, just too timid. They even suggested that I might have to home school her, which is something that was already in my mind. I knew one way or another I would make sure she passed her graduation exam.
My husband and I spent several long months trying to decide, send her to the school she is suppose to go to, or to a school that is much further away which was in the process of building a new school, and a much bigger one at that. It was my husband's remark that really helped me make my final decision.." She is going to be faced with situations all her life that she is not going to like, and you can't keep pulling her out of them. Either she is going to make it or not ". So I decided she would be going to the school that she was suppose to be going to. I cried and cried, and felt my child's suffereing. She knew all that was going on , she knew she had problems.
That summer I talked with her so much, and gave her pointers on what helped me. I told her she needed to find a way to study that worked for her, that everyone was not the same. For the first two weeks I would pick her up and she would be crying, "please don't make me go back, I hate it " So I headed to the counselors, told them everything that was going on, and told them if they could not make adjustments for her that I would be taking her out and homeschooling her. To my surprise, they were genuinely sincere and did make adjustments. I had a conference with all of teachers, which turned out to be short of a miracle.
Here she is today..she got AB Honor roll ! Funny enough, the guest speaker at the breakfast talked to the students and told them that sometime parents gives their child opportunities that they think may be bad at the time, but that turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Although my daughter was sitting across the gym from me, I knew we shared the same thought at the moment in time. She told me that she found a way that worked for her and it paid off, and now she is going to try for A honor roll. She found a way to do something I could not ever do myself ! All I have to say now..is Thank you lord for such a blessing.
5 responses
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Congrats to your daughter! You are so fortunate the school was able to pull the right strings to make things easier for your daughter to handle probably thru her IEP. I know how hard that had to of been for you as I have 3 kids in speech class & my oldest is also assumed to be ADD & Dyslexic and it tears us appart. As we don't know what else to do for her besides medicate her at this point and hubby still says no if she keeps improving but the question is able to focus so she can keep pace w/ her classmates. In addition the Dyslexia is common w/ kids w/ ADD but also have similar traits. And the only way to know if the meds help is to try them. I don't want to see her fail.
@carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
2 Feb 11
Has the medication made a difference in how she focuses. My grandson's dad is a bit wary of the side effects.
@sunshine37 (450)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Oh snuggleBunnies, I know all that must be hard for you. We have watched my niece suffer from adhd ever since she was 5, she is now 19. My sister battled the same problem about the medication. She finally got her on it and it made a world of difference. Her grades came up and she could focus for the first time and was not loosing her temper so easily anymore. She caused a lot of turmoil for the family. However, when she got older she took herself off of it because she didn't feel like she had a problem, and then the hormones came into play. So when your daughter gets older the hormones is something to keep in mind, because they say the symptoms can worsen.
I am starting to face adhd with my oldest daughter, and medication is something I don't want to do but like you, I dont' want to see her fail so if that means the meds, then I suppose that is what I will do. Right now, I just keep battling with it.
I really hope the meds is working for your daughter ( if you have started them ) and you and your husband can find some common ground with it.
@carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
2 Feb 11
I can empathize with how you and your husband felt. My son has dyslexia and his son also has it. My son is now 31 and his teachers did not know much about learning disabilities when he was in the lower school. I remember one of them telling me in front of him ( he was 6 ) that his "head was not good". I was so upset!. He has a brilliant auditory memory but he was unable to translate his knowledge to the written word and to read and understand what he had read. For a while he went to a school for children with learning disabilities on week ends, but it did not help much, then I got a special ed. teacher to tutor him privately but her methods did not work either. Eventually when he went to high school they put him in a remedial class where they did a lot of reading aloud and used other methods of teaching, he started to do well but he had a run in with another student who was violent and the teachers moved him out of that class as they said that most of the students in that class were violent and he was not like that and they didn't want him to be socialized that way. So he went right back to square one. What turned him around was a gift of a computer from a relative. He hasn't looked back. He now builds and repairs them and has clients from far and wide. He still can't spell, has problems reading but all he does is set up the computer to read for him. As I said his son is also dyslexic but early intervention for him with methods that worked has seem him gaining a 93% + average at school. He has received an award for the highest grade average in the last grade that he was in and his only problem is that he is unable to focus as he should. His homework is terrible, he won't do it unless I sit with him and even then most times he gets out of doing it by just fiddling around until the time goes and he has to go to bed. I need a method to get him to focus. Everything that I have tried doesn't work. He does more work at school but the teachers still have a hard time getting him to settle down and focus.
I am so glad for you and your husband that you were able to find a method that worked for your daughter. Once she works it out for herself and is happy with what she is doing she will perceiver and continue to be successful.
@carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
10 May 11
This post is four months old so I am not sure if you will read this. My grandson that I wrote about was on his way to school in the school bus on May 5th when it was hit by a truck. His face has been badly injured and he is currently in hospital. The doctors do not want to move him until he is stabilized so right now we are just waiting and praying for him to recover. The bones on the right side of his face are smashed, there is tissue missing from the area under his eye and we are not sure how bad the damage to his eye is, he is not hearing from his left ear and he has jagged lacerations all over the right side of his face. And with all that if you ask him how he is you will get a chirpy 'I'm fine' He told us that he fell asleep and woke up just as the truck was about to hit. He thought he was going to die and then he blacked out. He woke up when he was being carried in the arms of a policeman to the car and heard someone say that he was not going to make it. He could feel the blood running down his face and he said that he prayed to God to heal him. When he awoke again he was in hospital.
I can't describe the pain and grief that we all went through. I literally don't know what to write. Tears are never far away and I pray constantly, thanking god for his life and praying for him to make a full recovery although I know that its going to be a long hard road for him. But he doesn't let anything get him down. When he was admitted and they wanted him to swallow the naso-gastric tube he quipped 'I can't even swallow half a pill and you want me to swallow that!'
@PreciousTT (34)
• Canada
2 Feb 11
Congratulations to her! I too have had to deal with learning disabilities throughout my life and you are right on. She and everyone needs to find something that works FOR THEM. It sickens me that some schools follow one guideline but what works for one does not work for all. She is very lucky to have you. I never had no support or guidance growing up. It was more here your born--- now figure it out. But when I decide to go back and get my high school diploma ( drop out when I was a teenager -got pregnant) I didn't stop there I went on to college and graduated on honor roll. I never thought I had it in me. It was not easy at all I had to put in extra hours of reading and re-reading chapters and making my own study notes. Point form notes helps a lot with learning new material for me. She will be OK sounds like she has an amazing supportive mother.
@sunshine37 (450)
• United States
3 Feb 11
Amen to the schools thinking that every student is the same. My sister teaches kindergarten which she is getting to the point she does not like anymore, and this is her dream job. She has taught for 25 years, but with all the changes they are making with "no child left behind" rule, she says she can't teach anymore, and its' more based on "rules". She feels that every child is different, like what you were saying.
Bless your heart, and WAY TO GO ! You did good even though the situation was hard.You have a lot to proud of. I wish I had wised up earlier than what I did, then perhaps I would have pushed myself to do something.
My parents I guess were supportive, but I think perhaps not in the right way. They would always tell me I could do anything I wanted, but in the same breath I was in special education struggling. The difference was both of my parents are smart ( I was adopted ) , and really could not understand what I was going through, like I understand my daughter.
So, since I am firm believer in everything happens for a reason, I believe that maybe I had to go through my struggles in order to help my daughter get through hers, and just maybe one day she will rise above everything and become great at what ever she is wanting to do in life .
@PreciousTT (34)
• Canada
3 Feb 11
Thank you.. I appreciate your words.
There "no child left behind" rule is a good rule but I feel they are going about it the wrong way.
Your last paragraph is so right (everything happens for a reason). I try to live by that everyday.
:)
@sunshine37 (450)
• United States
2 Feb 11
If you don't mind me asking, how and why would you be ashamed by self ?
@moirai (2836)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
That is so wonderful! I am happy for you and your daughter. =)
This just shows that we shouldn't let difficulties along the way get us down. Support and encouragement from people around us can help a lot. And also, working hard, not giving up, and working to find a way that works best for you, goes a long way.
@sunshine37 (450)
• United States
4 Feb 11
I really believe her sudden burst of "determination" made a huge difference, as well as my understanding for what she was going through. I sure can take pointers from her on how not to give up, and keep on working towards what you want. I wish I had been given that power a long time ago.
