Do working moms mind if their kid is now closer to Nanny?

Philippines
February 2, 2011 7:10pm CST
I do not have a kid of my own yet. However, if I will be a mom sometime in the future, I want to be a working mom so I can provide the family a better and convenient life. I want to help out my future husband when it comes to the finances. Well, that is just my idea. Now, I know some working moms who usually hire a nanny to watch over their kid whenever they are still at work. At first, working moms always encourage their kid to be friends with the nanny so he will not miss Mommy that much. Then later on, working moms get bothered because by the time they want to spend time with their kid, the kid is already used to hanging out with Nanny and does not want to go near Mommy. I am guess this hurts, I am not sure. However, I know working moms who are torn between working and spending time with their kid, and chose to work because they need money to provide their kid for a bright future. While I am posting this, I am beginning to wonder what to do. I know it's too soon to have a kid of my own, but I want to be prepared. How do working moms manage this?
2 people like this
12 responses
@mermaidivy (15397)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I don't have to work so I stay home taking care of my little one. But if I was to work, I still don't think I would hire a nanny for this. I just don't feel like letting a stranger to take care of my baby unless my mother or very close relatives. And I think I would be unhappy if my kid is closer to the Nanny.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17408)
• Canada
8 Feb 11
I think that comes with the person that you hire to be a nanny for your kids. Although most of the time when people hire nannies, it is for the necessity(or convenience), the hiring process shouldn't be overlooked. If the nanny turns out to be respectful of the mother-child relationship, then I don't think you have anything to worry.
@mythociate (20838)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
6 Feb 11
I think any mom who should really mind would be too good to their kids to really worry about it.
@sender621 (14918)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I think that mothers want their children to have someone to be close to. if they are working and can not be at home with their children, parents should not discoursge a relationship between a nanny and their children.
@ebuscat (5937)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
For me yes sometimes so it can't happened to you if you have job then you have kids find time more to there when you in home and not.
@zeciram (161)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
Hi! I am a working mom of an 9-month old baby girl. When I was about to go back to work from my maternity leave, I felt worried that my baby would get more attached to her caregiver than me. I came back to work when she was 2 months old and until now, she is still more attached to me than any other person who takes care of her even if she sees me at night and on weekends. When I'm around she does not want to be separated from me. I guess the bond of a mother and child cannot be easily broken. I'm just speaking from my experience. I do not know if it's applicable to everyone's situation.
@luram626 (30)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
Our first child was born last september 2010, she will turn 5month old this febuary 5, somehow my wife got bored of doing her routine to be a full time mom and she misses going to work, but as she is considering the thought of giving the care of our child to some stranger she fear for our child, of what might she learned from her nanny or what if we can get some bad nanny and teach our daughter some bad things, then my wife just thought of some things to do to earn without risking our child's tender moments with some stranger, i want that we are there when our child needs help, we wanted to be the one who will teach our children some manners to be a responsible children and citizen.. Mother's should really stays at home but there are instances that mothers need to work to help earn a living, but that if its really needed, like the income of the father cannot provide for their education, clothing, shelter not even enough for food then mother's will want help for added income, in that case mother's should see to it that you still have time to talk to your child everyday so that your child have something to look forward when you get home and you have a bonding moment with them and be sure to be there during their important events like birthdays, play in the school etc., and be sure to appreciate them every good act they have done, in that way though you are working but you are not a stranger to your child because you are there for them when they expect you to be there for them.
@emine08 (1551)
• Indonesia
3 Feb 11
hi sweety... i am a mother of 2 children. before i got married i was a teacher. after i had a child i quit of my job because i donot want my baby with the nanny. i just want to take care my own child with my way. i donot want my child closer to the nanny than to me. i am the mother and it is my responsibility to take care of my children. now i stay home mother and i enjoy to be like now. nice discussion sweety...
@hlgmdt (301)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
I don't have a kid yet but I'm gonna share stories of my friends, who are both working moms. The first one has been having trouble because her child get much more attached to the nanny. When the child cries, she looks for her nanny. I think this happened because my friend is so busy. She and her husband are owners of an English institute so most of their time are spent on work. When she gets stressed, she has the tendency to be temperamental and this is reflected on the way she deals with the child. My second friend, however, does not have this problem. She also works, but after work and during her day-off, she makes sure to spend quality time with her son. They play and watch movies together. Based on this, it could be that the quality of time a working mom spends with her child is significant.
@lynnemg (4533)
• United States
3 Feb 11
As far as I know, a Nanny indicates someone who lives in the home and helps take care of the children. The desription you give points my mind more towards a babysitter. There is a difference, at least in my opinion. I have always been a worker, so when I had my kids, it wasn't any different. I had a babysitter watch my kids while I was at work, but when I wasn't at work, the kids were always with me. The babysitter did not live in my home. I was never upset when my kids became close to the babysitter, I actually welcomed it because I knew that they were comfortable with her and she was treating them well while I was at work. Now, if I were to have had a Nanny living in my home, and my kids began wanting to spend more time with her rather than me, I think that I would have become a bit upset, not because they were close to her, but because I love my kids and enjoy spending time with them each day. Ideally, whenever I have needed a babysitter for my kids, I would be able to have a close friend or family memeber watch them for me. I cannot think of any time that I have asked anyone I was not sure of to watch them. I think that by already knowing the person and feeling that they are trust-worthy, it made a big difference for me and my kids. I also know many people who have chosen to work opposite shifts than their spouse so that one or the other of them is always home with the kids and they do not have to rely on a babysitter at all.
@domenyag (1273)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
I have a friend who is a teacher. Shes got a big problem with his daughter. Because her daughter got so attached to her aunt. Many times my friend got so jelous to her sister in law because her daughter loves her much more than her as her mother. Though we really can't blame those kids. i hope in time her daughter would understand her mother's work.
@sweet_pea (3323)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
It's really quite pretty sad. When your child is much closer to the nanny than you. My son's nanny is a cousin of my husband. She was with us one day after my son is born. And my son is turning 5 this May. That's how long she's been with us. Although, I really appreciate the love and concern she gave to my son, I really feel jealous when my son would choose her over me. In a weekday, I only spent at most 4 hours a day for my son. He likes to write and read a lot. So that's basically our bonding time. I'm really jealous of mothers who are still so close with their kids even though their children have nannies. I'll read more of the responses here as I may learn from them.