i want a happy family
By XnatenE
@XnatenE (38)
United States
February 5, 2011 6:22pm CST
i am not sure if i am just overreacting. my husband has always had convinced me that i am wrong on what i think. even if i prove to him that i am right.. sadly , he still manages to make me believe that i am wrong. and it makes me feel really confused and i loose my self esteem.
i think i am very blessed having 18 months old baby. a husband and we just got a house. however i think i am unhappy. i know that my son is enough reason to celebrate and enjoy life. but my husband keeps holding me back.
i want to be a mother and a wife. but i feel so frustrated and so depressed that i cannot do what i want to do. i look up to my husband to inspire me and motivate me. but my husband is not doing anything. he works satuday night and sunday night only. we have the whole week for family bonding and make a home out of the over 100 years old house that we just bought. but he goes to bed before 6am and does not function at all.. i am like living with a zombie.
i have to wake him up before 1030am because i do work from home and i need him to watch our baby. it takes forever to get him up and all he do is sleep in the couch and turn on tv and sleep while baby is playing.
i am so tired of this and it is a cycle. he does not care about anything. even if i put a banana peel or a plate on our hallway he will not pick it up.. i have to nag him to do stuff and i am tired i do not want to be that kind of wife. our trash is overflowing.if i do all this stuff what else is he left to do as a husband and a father. i want to be able to see him as the man of the hosue and i want to be able to admire him for taking control and be responsible. i know he brings money and provides for us but i need him to be involved to the family.
all he does is sit in front of the computer. playing games, read books or watch movies.. all by himself.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@birdie816 (1276)
• United States
6 Feb 11
wow i thought i was the only one who felt like that sometimes. sometimes it seems like my husband is holding me back. it is only recently that his behavior improved somewhat, but he used to sit around and play video games all day, pretty much ignore me most of the time, sleep weird hours, and go to work. he would also make it hard on me by leaving dirty dishes and clothes everywhere in our bedroom. it was only after we had several arguments over this that he realized he was in the wrong and decided to change his ways. also, i keep feeling like i want a baby (not necessarily now but within the next few years) but anytime i bring up a baby he acts like he doesnt really want kids...you are lucky by the way (because you have a son)
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
17 Feb 11
It is lovely that you have a delightful 18 months baby son. It is wonderful that you live in a comfortable house. You and your husband need to develop clear discussion. Instead of using his computer he should be talking to you and taking his fair share of housework. I suggest that every week day you could put your son in his buggy and for a family walk together. You could think of it as bonding time. Your husband is holding you back so maybe think of a new hobby to do together. You need to do family activities and walk will drag him away from his computer, games, books and disk player. Good luck.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Feb 11
Hi Xnaten,
I don't think it sounds as if you are over-reacting at all. I do think though it sounds as if you had(have) expectations as to what a family life should be like and because those expectations are not being met, you are now disappointed. You can't unfortunately "make" him get more involved. In fact you can't change him at all to be what you wish he was. At this point all you can do is try to find a way to lower your expectations and accept the situation for what is is or leave it. You have made yourself clear to him how you feel. To push the issue further with no results is only going to further frustrate you...maybe cause you to throw the TV or Computer out the window. That might get a reaction out of him but you still won't have an involved husband & dad. Try sitting still with it for a while. By that I mean don't worry about it...don't care about it and just focus on your own happiness and that of your baby. Don't base your happiness on his actions or lack of them. Winnie the Pooh had a great quote..."No expectations means no disappointments.".
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
6 Feb 11
Actually, I had promised myself, to not talk about my husband, with friends or with anyone. but your story, exactly the same as what I experienced. I actually was very desperate, and wanted to end it all. but always, my husband has more power, to decide everything.
@xiaofumei (3)
• China
10 Feb 11
i am a chinese guy,and my english level is a little poor.understanding your situation was bad,but there is a greatest happiness,you have your darling child, who is your hope.try to clam calm treat everything around you,try to have a conversation with your husband once time.dont give up ,bless you better
