We can't choose who would be our parents are, but not with parent-in-laws... / myLot

Philippines

February 7, 2011 11:21pm CST

Hello guys it is really true, we can't choose who would be our parents because they came first than us. Lucky are those children who were nurtured by good and responsible parents. But not all with parent-in-laws because there are lovers who are even already engaged would separate due to bad attitudes and characters of either both of their parents. There are also couple would never care for as long as they loved each other so much. They would just consider it thinking they are (the couple)NOT the ones who live together with their parents. But sadly, after their wedding they all live together.

Well, I just want to know, are you lucky enough with your parents? Me? Yes, because in general,they never played favoritism in our family. They are responsible parents to us. Are you lucky enough with your parent-in-laws? Me? A big NOOOOO!!Because they have favoritism in their family especially my mother-in-law. We can never expect help when we needed them most in times of our urgent needs. But, to her favorite son? It could be right away, no question ask.

Can you share yours guys? Could we talk about it? Mobhomeir here..

4 people like this

10 responses

Andrealoves7and8

@rogue13xmen13 (14403)

• United States

10 Feb 11

Okay, you can't choose your parents or your in-laws. Also, you are marrying the person you love, not their parents. Keep that in mind. I love my boyfriend, but his parents aren't greatest people in the world. Then again, he would probably say the same thing about my parents. Truth be told, no parent is perfect, and if you love the person that you are with, you won't care how bad their parents are. My aunt had Hell with my uncle's parents, and she had had it with her mother-in-law. It got to the point where she actually stood her ground and told her mother-in-law off, then again, she did it because her mother-in-law was using the family for money and other things that she should not have been doing. My aunt told her that she couldn't take it anymore. She got her sister-in-law and they joined forces to find ways of getting her out of their lives. My uncle had even had it with his mother. Again, you love her, but you don't have to put up with her parents.

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Andrealoves7and8

@rogue13xmen13 (14403)

• United States

14 Feb 11

Well, when you get married, remember you are marrying the person that you love, NOT THEIR PARENTS. This means that if you love them enough, you will make it work no matter what. Take me for example, I love my boyfriend, but I don't really like his parents. My boyfriend is a great guy. His parents are insane, but I am NOT dating his parents, I am dating my boyfriend. You have to remember that. You are not marrying her parents, you are marrying your wife. The happy ending with my aunt is that people saw through her mother-in-laws garbage, and they stood up to her because they couldn't take it from her anymore. You have to put your foot down. Tell your wife that you love her, but you don't have to put up with her parents problems.

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Good for you for having both a nice parents. Unlike your aunt who was living like in hell with her in-laws...do you believe that's a part of our married-life destiny?

Thanks for responding my friend.. Mobhomeir here..

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chiyochan

@chiyosan (30184)

• Philippines

10 Feb 11

Haha. Though we can choose to marey or not marry our bf if we dont like his or her parents... Still we do not have the full length of the choice we seem to have aftwr all when weng marry... We also become family and that means accepting the fact that we cant get away from our in aws as as our real parents...

1 person likes this

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Certainly right my friend...There's a saying that goes..if you love your man/woman love not only her/his bad traits and everything but all of his/her being including your in-laws..." Thanks for responding..

rsa101

@rsa101 (37952)

• Philippines

9 Feb 11

I wouldn't say that I am lucky not having trouble with my parent in law here. I recall that my MIL lived with us since my wife was the youngest and she takes care of her mother. When we got married she was nice to me but I discovered that the mother and daughter had some differences along the way and they would quarrel frequently luck me that they would not include me in their fight but of course being the husband you would feel sad and stressed as well with the situation at hand. Then after three years it all ended when she passed away. Although things were not smooth sailing I guess I loved that person despite what happened. We missed her for being the Grandma of our son. She took good care of our only son and I think when she left we felt that there was something missing in our married lives. For now, we have already moved on with our lives already. I think that there are many things that we might see negatively about our PIL but I know there goodness in everybody that we do not always see.

1 person likes this

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

You're right my friend. Not all of their doings are all bad enough, I'm sure there are still good things they've done in favor of our family...thanks for responding my friend... Mobhomeir here..

mermaidivy

@mermaidivy (15395)

• United States

8 Feb 11

I am very happy with my parents but I don't like my father in law and my mother in law, my father in law is a pin in a neck, you jsut cannot deal with him, he has a very annoying personality, a very difficult person to deal with. And, my mother in law is a lesbian, always ask me question that I don't like, I don't liek to deal with her either.

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mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Sorry for that my friend..i guess we have different in-laws-attitudes. For me, my in-laws are not all good to me. My father-in-law is same as yours perfectly especially in terms of money and always doubtful in everything you do..my mother in-law is easy to deal with but whenever there would be someone injecting another issue from what you've been agreed upon it turns our adversely..so frustrating.. Thanks for responding my friend.. Mobhomeir here..

EdnaReyes

@EdnaReyes (2622)

• Philippines

9 Feb 11

Yes, you're right, we can't choose our parents but parent-in laws yes! In our younger days, we, all women friends (We're five actually),made a vow never to marry a boy whose mother is a kind of an antagonist in a movie, vowing to let go of such a lover and never to commit ourselves in miseries living with a witch mother-in-law. But, whoa

three of them married a guy whose mother is exact copycat of a witch mother-in-law

. I'm lucky enough to choose a lover who lost her parents long before we met

Well, lucky me, I don't have a witch for a mother -in law!

1 person likes this

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Funny isn't it. What are the things that you hate most are the thing been given to you..yes..you're lucky..what do they say if you mention this thing to them? Sure they would say.."love is blind"

Thanks for responding anyway.. Mobhomeir here..

sanmru

@sanmru (50)

• Australia

9 Feb 11

Yes.... I am very very lucky for being a daughter to my parents. they are so sweet caring and the same time very responsible. coming to my in-laws, i am very unlucky. as mine is love marriage and my husband is a very good and lovable person. always loves me, takes care of me just like my parents. but my in-laws never care of me. whatever i am doing they are always ready to point out.they don't share any family matters with me. still they treat me as a stranger only.

1 person likes this

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Sorry for that my friend...I guess we have slightly the same situation..anyway it is already there..we can't turn it back except to adjust their level of attitude towards us rather than ours to them...patience the best tool for that..good luck for us.. Thanks for responding.. Mobhomeir here..

ersmommy1

@ersmommy1 (12588)

• United States

8 Feb 11

Just try not to let the in laws favoritism get to you. All you can do is make the best of the situation. If you know you won't receive help, don't plan on asking. Hang in there.

1 person likes this

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Yeah good if it would goes that way..no problem if you're the apple of their eyes...but what if the situation is opposite? Instead, you're the eyesore to them..

Well, some said "I don't mind as long as we love each other with their daughter or son"..that's all gonna be fine... Thanks for responding anyway my friend..my regards to your in-laws.. Mobhomeir here..

sender621

@sender621 (14894)

• United States

8 Feb 11

We are born into a family or sometimes we are adopted by one. The choice is not ours to select who our parents and families will be. We do have the choice when it comes to in-laws. When we make the choice to marry someone, we are taking on their family as our own,.

1 person likes this

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Yes. But what if, you love so much that woman/man but you never like his/her family attitude? Would you still dare to marry her/him? Thanks for responding Mobhomeir here..

khalida

@khalida (1126)

• India

8 Feb 11

well i have been quite lucky with my parents yes. But i am still quite young and not married so i don't know about my future in laws

Hopefully they will be good too. If not, i don't mind if i am not their favorite or if they don't do good things for me or help me. I would just appreciate it a lot more when they don't interrupt too much into my business

Not that i would do anything against them, but lets face it. . . when you are finally young enough to do what you want after your parents telling not to do this and that; you don't want your in laws to do the same right!?

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mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Well, i hope you can choose a good husband with good in-laws also. That's a complete package...Thanks for responding my friend..

kukueye

@kukueye (1759)

• Malaysia

8 Feb 11

Haha.Not necessary sometime the girlfriend is nice.But the in laws are notorious not nice.Always thinking their daughter or son can get better half than u now.Sometime parents in law very noisy and will interfere will your daily lifes and such.Sometime they comments are harsh and very critical.Therefore any normal human being will wish to move out from their parents place if possible.Except if the house is very big, there are many rooms then can hide.Haha.

1 person likes this

mobhomeir

@mobhomeir (7558)

• Philippines

13 Feb 11

Yes my friend..but there also people that never care what kind of na in-laws they would have as long as both lovers love really each other much...Thanks for responding my friend.. Mobhomeir here..