A Wolf is always a Wolf!!!

I have this kind of notion before that once he do such thing to me for the first time it will be goodbye but when you love the person very much you will always give chances. I am also in pain right now and while typing this I am crying because I have no one else to talk to. It's really hard to fake smiles in front of your family when you are breaking.

Hi, Saphy. It is so nice to see you here again. It has been a while... This is my way of moving on with my life, dear. The only way is to forgive him. But, of course, with limitations. I do not tolerate him but for the sake of my peace of mind and peace in our household, i'd rather not think about it anymore. Besides, I find comfort in the fact that one day, God will give us what is due to us. If he is fooling around again, God will take care of him. He is the only person liable for all his actions. I've done my part. I can only pray that none of his misbehavior will back fire on our kids.I'll be very hurt and will never forgive him...Never....

Hi sweetie. I understand what you are saying and it breaks my heart to know that most men actually treat their loved one's like this. You cannot let that love make you turn a blind eye to what really goes on. That will break you for sure.

Yes, that is true maybe shey sent that email to try to get you out of the pic because your husband is not doing so quick enough for her. They say most men that fool around do not leave their families. However its a good thing you are aware of whats up and making plans for yourself. Have your ever heard of a movie called "Diary of a Mad House Wife". Or it could be "Diary of a Mad Black Housewife". You should try to watch it. But if you do watch it alone, or with a lady friend. Not your husband.

It is indeed a rare opportunity to find a one woman man nowadays. I'd consider that person as truly blessed if he/she got one in his/her life. I did not bother to reply. What is the use. It will only give that sender the pleasure of the thought that he/she had somehow gotten into my nerves. I will not give such person that satisfaction. Besides, what is the point? If he is referring to my husband, well, she/he is not in the position to tell if hubby has or hasn't changed yet. I am the only one to have the right to finally conclude such. I do have plans for myself, though, whether he will change or not, I will continuously search for a way to make my life and myself better. Not just for the kids but for myself especially. Thank you, dear for dropping your thoughts here. It is much appreciated.

@ Jdyrj I read a lot of malicious emails coming from a certain woman to my husband, but those were sent to his email address. However, this time , someone sent it to my own email address. I'm not sure if it was from the same woman. It could be or it could not be. Who knows? Well, I do not exactly know what the real score between my husband and the other woman because my husband would not admit that he had an intimate relationship with her. It's all up to him how to deal with it. Thanks for informing me of such movie. I am curious what is it all about. I'll definitely check it out.

There are? Where are these good men? Or since I'm a man myself, where are these good women? lol Sorry hon, I haven't met a good man or woman yet. I suppose they exist, but Lord only knows where they are hiding. :)

Oh, you see, I am a woman and I can honestly say , modesty aside that I am a good one. But perhaps, I am too good that my husband thinks that I can endure anything and anything with full willingness out of the goodness of my heart. Yes, dear. There are good women out there and they are not hiding. They will come to you when it is your time to meet them. You'll be shocked.

Because they THOUGHT they are ready to face everything that goes along with being married including faithfulness, loyalty and honesty to their spouses. Then, they realized, they aren't ready yet and wanted to do more than just being responsible husbands and fathers. don't worry, Andy. There are still some few good men out there.

Hello, Toni.:) Oh, Jesus... For me, that is too much! I am so bad in tolerating lies, dear. You can cheat on me but as long as you tell me about it, I will have no problem in forgiving you. But, to lie to me and compounded such lies with alibis and another lie.... I can't bear it. It will take forever for me to rebuild my trust. It will be like a ghost that keeps on haunting me from time to time. In fairness to my husband, I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to believe and trust him that he indeed has changed for the better. Though sometimes, there is this woman's instinct in me that feels there is still something that he is hiding from me but, darn it! I'm too tired to know what it is. I am looking forward of the day when I will no longer worry about his lies and hiding things from me. What my husband doesn't understand is, I am strong enough to accept the fact no matter how painful or hard it is. I prefer the truth than mislead me with lies.... Sure thing, dear, ny life will be better and my kids', too. Wishing you the same, Toni.

@Staria: Hello. My husband also is clumsy when it comes to hiding things and lying that's the reason I found out about his little mis-adventures.

I do not and cannot tolerate lies too!! Good thing my husband sucks in lying, he easily gets caught! :

So sad.... because I have a friend like that too. I believe that we as women and human beings need to treasure ourselves and treat ourselves kindly. We are deserving of love and affection and caring, and if we are not with someone who can willingly give it as well as accept it in return, are we not with the WRONG person? The thing is - nobody should ever suffer in silence. When things begin to break down, communication is key, you must TALK to the important people in your life. If you can fix anything, it has to be before you have accepted lack of love, lack of caring, lack of encouragement, lack of support. Once you have accepted that from your partner, either by letting it go or by actively ALLOWING it and never telling them what you NEED from them, then it's too late, if you try to fix it later they may come back at you and say 'well you never minded the other 110 times, how is THIS time any different?'. You matter, don't forget that. And remember that you and your partner are your childrens' role models. They will see how you behave and interact and that is their main source of what adult relationships are to them. Don't let them get the wrong idea...

Hello, Bengwayan. Thank you for sharing such story to me. Sigh... it made me cry. I can almost see myself in that woman. Yes, like her, all I ever wanted was to be a good mum and wife to my kids and husband, respectively. I gave everything for the relationship, gave up everything, too. Maybe, when the kids are old enough. like that woman you just told me about, I'll be searching for someone who could love me. My dear, I just love this story so much that I want this to post in my FB account. I hope you wouldn't mind.... I can not thank you enough, dear for sharing this to me....

Post it, please, and I hope that husband who who gave no meaning to the love and affection given by my woman-friend will see it and lament again. And I hope your husband will see your FB and realize the pain you are undergoing from his utter ruthlessness will open his eyes to reality -- if he ever will. Friend, it is good to cry. Crying is never a sign of weakness. It is a cleansing process and hope for a beginning. I wonder why we the men, disregard the little things in life that make a house a home -- until it is too late. Give my regards to your kids.

I have myslef been in a what it was called dysfunctional relationship/ marriage. where my at that time spouse had HIS behaviour, which was not appropriate as "normal" I gave him love and was like a martyr turning the other cheek enduring anything hoping for him to make a change. It did not happen until I got a divorce. He lost me and his biological child. After that it started a process in his own being. He needs to make changes. Sometimes I have noticed when you speak the same language do the same action as a man( a male do ) The man wake up a bit. I think it has to do that men are competitors with each other subconscious so they either feel beatened or they feel unsecure. When a man feels unsecure he get the serious feeling, " He " has to do something about it to get his comfortable situation back. I do hope you will get a healthier relationship / marriage.

Hi there again, QeeGood.:) I am sorry to hear your story. It must have been hell for you to went through those things.... I prayed that this thing will never ever going to happen to me and my husband. I'm not so sure if I am that strong to endure what you have been through. I don't want to put that much risk in my life just to save the marriage and make him see things the way I see them.:( But, I guess, you are right about men being competitive. Oh, I think I need to give him a bluff for sometime, even just a bit to see if he will feel threatened... Thank you for the well wishing, dear. I do hope ,too, that all things are well with your life now.:)

Hi Eureka! I am happy to hear that you appreciated my comments on FB. For me too, it is always great pleasure to interact with you (through any channel). I vaguely remember that you might have told me that his girl friend knows your emails ID and your FB account. In that case - is she the sender of the mail? I said earlier also and I may reiterate that lying and cheating are negative traits and are not acceptablein a relationship. When one partner gets a felling that the other one is a habitual liar, it is not good for a strong bonding and it gets difficult to cement the releationship. Even if the fellow with a tag of a 'liar' tells a fact with honesty and truth, that 'fact' is seen with a suspicion. He loses his good image. On the other hand telling the truth helps, in my view. Truth may look bitter at the first instance, however, it helps in the long run. It is good to hear that he is 'changing' and for the past few months he is apparently 'behaving' as a responsible partner. As regards 'complete change', you should not expect that. Even if he changes himself to say 50%, you should try to accommodate him. Remember, I always say that even the 'best partner' in this world will have some negative traits. I do hope that your threat of 'last chance' prompts him to 'change' for betterment of your family. All the best! Deepak

Hi, dear.:) Oh, thank you for the comments in my FB. I love interacting with you there. I enjoyed it. Remember when I told you that his girlfriend knew about my email addresses and my fb accounts as well as the fb account of our daughter? Did I tell you about those, dear or I did not? Sigh... i guess she was right. My hubby will never ever fully changed his ways. One way or another he will be lying to me again. It is in his character and a very bad habit that is so hard to break. But, I am already prepared to facing that. If he can not change then, I will. Change in the way I feel for him. I must admit that he is still very much the father of my kids and in fairness to him, he is a good provider when it comes to their needs. After the talk we had on the new year's eve of 2011, I haven't seen him do the same things that really hurt me .Though there are still certain things I hope he'd somehow realize how important those thing to me are and be sensitive enough, I can not expect him to change overnight nor change the way things are right now, maybe, he will, maybe he won't. No one is planning to do a leap, dear. I have given him one last chance. One last chance is all he got because unlike before, I have no plans about 'me' because the kids were still small, but now that they have grown , I do.:) Thank you as always. Your words are such a comfort, dear.

Hi Lhenpaule. Then, I'm not going to say sorry for your situation but rather congratulations for passing through the painful stage and coming out victorious at the end. As for me, I do not want that to happened to me and my kids especially. I have been in a relationship and my two kids suffered from it, I can no longer put the other two under the same situation. For now, I haven't seen him cheating on me and I'd like to believe that he has changed indeed. If he is still doing those things again, I know God will not allow me to be a fool again. HE will be the One to shed light. This is what I believe:What you are doing in the dark will be revealed in the light.. God is with me. :)))

I hope and pray that things will always be well for you and your children. I salute you for being strong and standing to what you believe in .

Oh, I want to be strong, not just for my kids but for myself as well. We had issues in the past but we already talked about it. He was sorry and promised not to do it again. So far, i haven't seen anything unwanted about his behaviors ever since but of course,there are still things I hope he'd truly change soon. This letter was untimely. Too late as a warning because I have given my husband another chance. Anyways, he (hubby) is doing his best to be the best father to my kids. That is something I feel grateful and can be happy of. Never mind if he is into womanizing. There are just too many women and they are getting younger everday. Let my husband satiate his cravings for mis-adventure. LOL . Honestly, I'm done with all the crying. I'm happy thinking that i am finally free from such pain and stress.:) Thanks, Minnie. all the best to you, too.

You are right, Ybong. I believe that everything is constantly changing. Oh, I'm not losing hope, my dear. That person had absolutely under estimated my capacity to adapt to any situation. Besides, the only thing that I want to see changing is not from my husband's end but from my end. It is the way to deal with his unchanging behaviours.

Hi, Bounce. Thank you for dropping your candid thoughts about this matter. I'm glad that you understood my situation. I can not do much but to always give him a chance. It is not easy to give up on someone who used to be the man you loved so much and the father of your kids whom you love more than life itself... I'm sick and tired of confrontations ,dear. It is not doing me nay good because I can not seem to make my husband see my point. I am just hoping that one day a wake up call will come and he will see the way I see things or I will see things the way he sees them (just in case I am the one who is wrong).:(

Hi there, Bokal.How are you? It has been awhile since the last time I 'saw' you. You are right ,dear. I guess, I can give him another chance again and again, until the day I have nothing to give anymore. How can I just give up on the father of my kids? Even if he tainted the love and such love had waned , I love my kids so much that I can sacrifice my own happiness in exchange of giving them a family they can call whole and seemingly 'happy'. Yes, I am doing everything I could so that if ever one day, my efforts will all turned into nothing, my husband can say that I did really try. And that I will not regret and think of what could have been if I did try harder. I hope that the sheep in him will over power the wolf that has been domineering him for such a long time. Have a great day, dear.

Hi there, Mezsalman. I am not saying that I am a martyr but I am in a position where in a value family much more than I value my own happiness. I guess, I will never stop giving chances to any of the member but of course, I have to get a life of my own ,too. Right now, i am in the process of looking things in a different point of views. If my hubby doesn't want to change then, I believe it is me who should adapt to a better situation. I do have plans for myself and I vow to carry them on whether he changes or not.

I never lose hope to the capabilities of the human race to change and do good for themselves and to others as well. My husband deserves a chance, even if it means again and again. How can I just turn my back from someone who is the father of the kids whom I love so much? I know that my husband is doing all the best he can do to make the marriage work. So, I am in. May be, we can just make things work, just once...

I hope the best for you and your husband. I hope that he doesn't hurt you in the future. I'm glad that you're looking in the best interest of your kids. Kids need both parents around in the house. Wish you all the luck :)

I am keeping myself from a safe distance.:) Thanks you from dropping your thoughts here. Have a great day.:)

Hello, Mac. Yes, I remember you responded to my discussions. And i owe some insights from you, too.:) I talked to him on new year's eve. T'was break it or make it moment and he was sorry and promised to not to do it again. How can I be so hard on the father of my kids? I had stayed with him on the worse situation, so why not give him a chance to improve? Not for me but for my children's sakes. I do have learned not to expect. Matter of fact, I'm just letting him do whatever he wants. And I promised myself never ever ask him again. If he want to tell me something he has to have the courage and initiative to come to me and share his thoughts. If he is hiding things again, God will take care of that from now on. My concentration is my kids and myself. I can not waste any more time on his misbehaviors. Thank you, Mac. I believe in the power of prayer, too. Thanks for reminding me of that. I do hope that your are also living your life happily, always smiling and strong. Whatever you went through before, I believe, you already got over it.I'm happy for you.

Hi, Syo. Oh, that. Yes, our true color and nature will always show up no matter how hard we try to hide it. But, i'd like to give my husband the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to see him as the sheep overpowered by a wolf (for the meantime) and that one day, he will see what he truly is, and that is a sheep. For the love of my kids, I'm willing to give my other hand though he already have taken the first one. And I should be very brave for this one, for the last time... Have a great day, dear.

Hello, Hemlockspruce. Jesus.... God forbids that to happen to me and my family. So far, my husband has not hurt my physically and though there were times he called me names but because he was so angry, he was sorry after. He is not as worse as the husband of your colleague. Only, he had lied to me in the past. We talked about it , on the new year's eve of 2010 and he promised to change. so far, I have not seen anything suspicious or anything that is similar to his misbehaviors ever since. So I guess, I am still ok. That is the very thought of the mail sender and somehow part of me is telling that it is true. Butthe other part is also nudging me to give him another chance. So, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Let's see is he will change. Besides, I am no longer scared. I am prepared of whatever the outcome maybe. I already got plans for myself and my life, plus, the kids are grown ups already. Just one more chance.:)

Hello, Embabes. CAn I ask you something? What does "hun" means to you? Please answer me because this will going to answer one of those nagging questions I have here. We sat down and talk. TRhough it was informal but I believe I was able to deliver the message to him clearly, that I am resenting and will no longer tolerate his misbehaviours. And yes, you are right. Since I decided to give him another chance I might as well do my best to really believe that he will indeed change his ways, though not all but at least some which is attainable. I have plans for my future ,too, but I am giving him this one last chance and see what happens next.