Hard time dealing with someone elses' Children

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Well, if some of you have read my other post, ( http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2475326.aspx )this is sort of streaming off that one. But it's more dealing with her children and mine. Long story short. We 'rescued' a woman and her 2 children from an abusive relationship. She told us she was ready to leave, knew what she was getting into when she left and knew she had to work her butt off to get on her feet on her own. She also said her children were well behaved. ...all that was pretty much a lie. She's been with us for almost 2 months and she hasn't even gotten a job and her children walk all over her and run around all over the place. They've gotten slightly better since they've come here because I run a strict household. Since we live above the managers office there's defiantly NO running in the house. My husband does school work online so there's NO loud noise or screaming and of course they're only allowed in the living room and bathroom. I'd admit, it's pretty limited, but what do you expect from a 1 bedroom apartment with 3 adults and 4 children in it? Here's the brake down of the kids. Her eldest son, 6- Tall for his age, looks like an 8year old. Learning disability or Autistic, needs to be tested. Speaks like a 2 year old. Mentality of a 2 year old. Doesn't like to be touched, but stands about 1 inch from your face and stares at you a lot. Doesn't want to sit still. Doesn't like to eat food he doesn't recognize. Only likes fast food or microwave meals. Youngest son, almost 3 (next month), acts like a normal 3 yr old, learns a lot faster then his brother but still has a small speech problem (meaning you still can't hold a full conversation with them, my nephews around the same age and he talks like crazy). He emulates his father and thinks its fun to hit mommy and run away from her when she's trying to discipline him. My kids are 9 & 7...typically average children. Well behaved for the most part until you ask them to clean their room. Eat pretty much what's given to them and finish their veggies when told to. They are in the advanced classes in school though. My problem lies here, her kids annoy my kids. Her oldest one tries to stick to my kids like glue and it becomes a little 'creepy' in a way. When asked to stop, he doesn't listen. He follows my eldest son around everywhere and pretty much limited them to their own bedroom to get away from them because he doesn't know 'personal space' yet. The only reason they're irritated with the youngest son is because they can't understand a word he says and he constantly cries because he can't get his way. So my youngest son is annoyed by all the noise. I try to go about it calmly and tell them to either, 'ignore them' or 'ask them nicely to stop' or 'move away from them' and 'go somewhere else' but after a while it seems unfair that my children have to feel this uncomfortable in their own home. In my kids minds, these people just showed up one day and they were told they have to deal with it. My husband didn't discuss it much with them before he went off to get her and her kids. And even worse, she doesn't know HOW to discipline. Since no one said she was doing a bad job she just thought she was going a good job. But when your own kids hit you, they don't listen and they take things from stores and expose themselves in public...you're not doing things right. She doesn't know some basic parenting skills which should have been learned after 6 years years. Or it just might be I have high expectations for all mothers because I've had good examples all my life. My parents weren't strict, but we knew boundaries. I was the first one of all my sisters to have a child so I had to pretty much teach myself what to do. I'm not the best parent in the world, but I figured if I could do it...she can, since my husband said we did think alike. She gets easily frustrated and just sits there and cries because they won't listen. She blames their undisciplined on their father because they couldn't come to equal grounds on how to discipline their children, but then again. Their father was hardly home, so it's just an excuse. They were mostly with her the whole time. My husband was only home at night, after they went to sleep and home 2 days of the week where he spent most of it sleeping, so I was in charge of their discipline. Other then the abuse, we were pretty much in the same situation. Limited funds, no real support, 2 kids and a husband who was constantly working. So now she's REALLY going to be a single mother and she has to be stronger to deal with her kids and work at the same time. We've tried our hardest to suggest different methods on how to get control back over her children. I told her to ask other parents online on different ways to help her kids, but she says she doesn't trust other parents because they don't have a PHD...but then she doesn't trust books written by authors with a PHD because they probably don't have kids themselves. (this is exactly things she told us) And the only reason she's trying to keep them under control is because it's OUR rules and she's in OUR house. She thinks we're too strict and complains to her friends and mother over the phone. When I'm alone with her youngest son, he's a complete angel. Asks politely and doesn't cry much. And when he does it's not for long. She says that's normal for kids to listen to people OTHER then their parents...that's true to a point, but my kids don't disrespect me to a point her kids to to her even if they listen to their aunt more then me. And that's because auntie spoils them and they don't want to ruin that. So, I know this is long, and thank you to anyone who is reading this, but what should I do? Do I take control and discipline HER children for HER? Or do I just sit back like I have been and make sure MY kids are okay? Any and all suggestions welcome. Thank you.