Is it harder to make friends when you're older?

@Bellapop (1279)
March 5, 2011 1:48pm CST
Is it harder to make real genuine lasting friendships when you're older, say after the age of 30? I have recently joined an evening class, and I'm finding that evryone who is there is (over 30) and just focuses on the work and doesn't really want to know. There is polite chat, but that's it, none of the getting to know each other phase that we get when we were younger...
2 people like this
23 responses
• United States
6 Mar 11
yes it is harder to make friends when you get older most people who have lived there life's and or divorced or widowed our content with live and so if they our some where when a job needs to be done they stettle in and get the job done and i am talking about 50 and above at the age 30 things our not so important and they will worry about things later
1 person likes this
@Ladysu (25)
• China
6 Mar 11
I have the same puzzle. I don't what to say.Wish I can learn something here.
1 person likes this
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
I agree with you, I realized when I was already married and working, I no longer the luxury of going out with my college friends and much more to go out and meet new friends. I met some but they were just nodding buddies and we didn't get into something serious of being a friend. My time had been devoted to my work and my family and during my free time I make use of it to bond with my children. Unlike when we were younger, during our teens, we always have time to be with friends, going out and talking and chatting all day.
1 person likes this
• Australia
6 Mar 11
I think that people have established some degree of normality - a routine - once they've reached the age of thirty. They have careers, they have family commitments, and they are probably feeling quite adequate where their circle of friends is concerned. I also think that people are less inclined to open up and be forthcoming about themselves when they've reached a certain age. So finding a connection - some common ground - may take a little longer; however, it is certainly not impossible. Sometimes it is best to join a social club - an art gtoup, for example - where common ground can be less academically-reliant. Conversations are more opinion-based and flow more freely; whereas - in a class - some people are more reserved and unwilling to contribute to a discussion. There is no real avenue to discuss personal attributes and experiences.
@Liliac26 (557)
• Romania
6 Mar 11
I've noticed the same thing in my classes. There are many people there over 30 and even 40, and there are some in their early twenties. They behave so differently. The older ones talk to everybody, but never go beyond polite exchange, while the youngsters stick to their own group of friends, but seem to be really close to each other. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle.
1 person likes this
@Soochow (40)
• China
6 Mar 11
Friends may come and go and you get a sense of loss facing this. Also you are involved in your heavy workload and family life every day, but it is still possible to find some bosom friends in any age group/
1 person likes this
@goldeneagle (6745)
• United States
9 Mar 11
I have actually found the opposite to be true. I am 33 years old now, but I had a harder time making friends when I was younger. I have a lot more self-confidence now than I did at a younger age, so I find it easier to talk to people and to just be myself now than it was for me to do it back then...
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
5 Mar 11
I have had trouble making friends when I was younger and I still have trouble making friends! Of my friends,must are, lifetime friends. I have been luckly that way and I am grateful for it!
@Bellapop (1279)
12 Mar 11
I really envy people who have lifelong friends who have known tham from childhood. I moved away when I made a lot of friends at school and didn't know to keep in touch. The friends I made at the new school I've also lost touch with them...it's a shame...
@jugsjugs (12967)
5 Mar 11
I am nearly 40 and i will say that i still have alot of friends that come to see me alot, but i will also say that i do not get out as i am stuck at home.I think that having the internet is great as there are alot of groups as well as places that i get to chat to people that i have become great friends with, also i have managed to get to meet them at other groups in the past and we are all friends.It all depends on why you want to make friends with people as well, i have made friends that are in my area as well as friends that have the same interests as me and that is making cards as well as ragdoll cats.It is easier if you have the same interests as other people that you are trying to be friends with, but hard if you do not know their interests.
@Bellapop (1279)
12 Mar 11
I really do find it harder to meet new people and make new friends when I'm older. I've always never been keen about making friends online - especially if I never get to meet them, it's a good start being online as you do come across more people and those who have the same interests too. :)
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
8 Mar 11
I think people become more cautious as they grow older. In younger days, some friends may have betrayed them. It can also be that people are very busy with their jobs, families, and the schoolwork so they really don't have the time to devote to a friendship. I do hope you can make a friend or 2 there.
@llbo1981 (1237)
• China
12 Mar 11
I think it is not the truth about your topic.Some older people really have many friends in daily life.Older people have much experience in working and life,so it is easy to make friends with other people who need more experience in working or life
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
5 Mar 11
I think that if you're an open-minded person and you enjoy communicating with other people it won't be difficult to make new friends even at a more advanced age.If two people start discussing and thendiscover that they have many things and views on life in common,it's very easy for them to become friends and I think such a relationship will last longer,perhaps for the rest of their lives,because they are wiser and not as hot-blooded as younger people.So I am one of those who believe that the ability to make new friends has little to do with biological age.
@Bellapop (1279)
12 Mar 11
Yes, this is very true, we can all make firends at any age, but it just takes much longer to estabilish true friendship when we're older - as we are more wary and cautious?
@Matpunk85 (1066)
• Italy
6 Mar 11
No, I don't think so. True friendship can be born at any age. If there is the right feeling and something that link the persons, maybe the same hobbies, it can be a good friendship. For the same reason there is the possibility that young people can't find real friends.
@narthan (325)
• India
6 Mar 11
I agree with you Matpunk85, there is no age to make friends and also difference in age neither matters. I think the only thing that matters is the mindset of people. Like it always said like minded people get along quite easily. you should only find a person of your type. I think most often why people think in the other perspective is because if the age difference is too much there is a lot difference generations as well that matters a little. Also, if they are too old they become more responsible for themselves and some people don't prefer giving time to their friends.
@henrikm (60)
• Denmark
5 Mar 11
I don't think it is harder to make friends, but it is harder to get to the point where you trust each other, which is the foundation for becoming friends. The fact that it is harder to get to trust someone is probably for most people due to bitter experience...
@Bellapop (1279)
5 Mar 11
Very true, I suppose, its the same with me personally, the people I've been talking to who sit next to me we only seem to have polite talk...
@Elixiress (3878)
6 Mar 11
Have you made any effort to make them your friends rather than just people in your evening class? It could be possible that everyone in the room would like to make a good friend, but do not want to be knocked back. As you get older, you get more fears and get more cautions as a result of things you have been through. For many people this could be the fear of putting their hand out for friendship and someone to turn around and say they are not interested. Also when it comes to evening classes, most people are there because they feel like they messed about when they were young and didn't make the most of the educational chances they had. This time round they want to focus on the work, so that they don't have to go through it a third time.
@maclanis (2365)
• Belgium
6 Mar 11
I think it's definitely easiest to make friends when you're a kid. Now I'm 19, but most of the friends I have are still the ones from high school. It's just that then you see eachother every day and friendships are easily made.
@ajamiro (160)
• Philippines
8 Mar 11
I definitely agree with this. Its really hard on making friends while you're getting older. The fact is that they will respect you as a superior because you're older. Anyways they are not kids anymore or even at teens stage and we are thought to respect the one who is older.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
hello, I don't think age has something to do with friendship or making friends. Maybe it just happen that,it's not the right place to have fun or chitchat with each other. I just turned 40 and mosts of my friends and buddies are younger than me and they love my company as i like theirs as well. Even at work,my team mates are younger than me and we work good as team mates and friends too. Just give a time and you will enjoy having new friends too. Have a great day
• United States
6 Mar 11
I think that it is not because of age but as we get older we get wiser and a bit more selective. Plus as we get older our interests change more so then when we were younger. Plus life itself keeps us so busy that sometimes as we get older we really do not take the time out to socialize as we did when we were younger.
• United States
6 Mar 11
I agree with those who've said that age doesn't make it harder to make friends, but I do think that as you get older you have more things going on in your life and only so much time you can spend on them. I love and appreciate the people in my life but I don't always have a lot of time to give, so I find that I am more selective about how I spend my time and who I choose to spend it with. If you're finding that you are lacking like minded and genuine people in your life, people who are supportive of you and the goals you are working towards, then it's probably time to reevaluate who you are investing your time and energy into.