We are opposite.
By sais06
@sais06 (1284)
Philippines
March 12, 2011 5:14am CST
Do you have the same personality with your partner (whether husband/wife or bf/gf) or you are the opposite of each other? I want to know if it could have been an advantage or disadvantage to both of you.
Well in my case I say we are more of the opposite. I am the timid type and she is more of the outgoing kind of person. I'm a bit silent while she does more of the talking. I guess it has been beneficial to both of us in many aspects as I see it. I can say that I have more patience than her so we don't clash every time we have a misunderstanding or a quarrel because I can extend more my patience. The disadvantage that I see is that since we have opposite personality then we have also different views on things but I guess that part could still be worked out.
So what do you think could be beneficial for you, the same personality or the opposite of each other? What situations could you say that it's beneficial or not? Does this really affect a relationship?
Thanks in advance for sharing.
3 people like this
15 responses
@mogulCherubim (17)
•
13 Mar 11
Me and my boyfriend are together for more than 5 yeas and we are opposite. He is really funny and talkative, ery outgoing while I am the quiet one and likes to obswere a lot. He is very patient in deciding and takes most of his time at most situtions. I tend to decide easily and I made the habit of deciding things when I am mad and happy. The advantage in this kind of relationship helps you to learn and accept people. You learnd to understand and be mature enough in handling situations. You learn from your partner and that's the best thing. The disadvantage is that they might quarrel a lot if they don't learn to give way for each other or eat there pride. We just like being together and learning together. I really believe that opposites attract.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
I guess quarrellings and disagreements are part of a relationship. These usually happens when they fail to make way for each other. When we have pride then that love that we have must be able to kill it in ourselves. I think without these differences we wouldn't be able to realize how much our love for a person is because it's easier to accept our similarities but not the differences. I say we become mature when our love endures.
Thanks for sharing.
Have a nice day ahead.
Thanks for sharing.
Have a nice day ahead.
@khalida (1126)
• India
13 Mar 11
well i generally like the opposite. that is cause if say, two people if they have different taste in something, each one can experience something different than the same things. mostly one being patient and the other short tempered, there will be lot to learn from each other, don't you think?
eventually one does get influenced or changed by some habit of their partners. difference of opinions can cause fights to happen and tackling those type of situations is fun
eventually one does get influenced or changed by some habit of their partners. difference of opinions can cause fights to happen and tackling those type of situations is fun 1 person likes this
@khalida (1126)
• India
14 Mar 11
i rated your comment. it was a good one. you have very well expressed what i was trying to tell i think fights should constantly be there in a relationship too. people fight when they care about something that is happening in the relationship.... if they don't, then probably they end up giving up on their partner( his/her habit or what ever) or keep the anger bottled in. now both aren't good right!?
i think fights should constantly be there in a relationship too. people fight when they care about something that is happening in the relationship.... if they don't, then probably they end up giving up on their partner( his/her habit or what ever) or keep the anger bottled in. now both aren't good right!? @sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
Hello khalida.
Yes I also think so that being opposite enables us to learn more. I have read your other comments and you have also made a good point here.
In my personal experience, there are actually things that I have done even if it's not the type of my personality to do it. She makes me experience the things that I haven't experienced before and that's the fun part. I can also say that we have influenced each other. Yes we are still opposites up to now but we are able to understand better because of those experiences. There are still times that we quarrel but it's normal I think and because of that also our quarreling do not usually last that long.
I kinda love this discussion because I was able to look into other people's relationships and learn.
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.
Have a nice day as well.
Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.
Have a nice day as well.1 person likes this
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
12 Mar 11
I think it is probably best to be opposites, or partially so. The differences continually remind you both that you are two different people. You are challenged to know, understand, love and be patient with your partner. The differences are a chance to know each other better. Where you are alike, will just seem like special sweet moments.
Even those who are opposite will have to work to find common interests and ways to bond.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
Oh. That is the word, "patience". This usually tests our patience for our partner. Remember that love is patient, right? I guess it works in my case as well because our differences made me to love her even more and also the same to her. Also through those differences that we experience other things that we haven't encountered before. So it's also fun and sweet knowing that your partner is willing to do something even if it's not his/her interest just to be with you.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 Mar 11
The only benefit is that he can talk to people and get what he wants most of the time. Other than that, it has been hard, as I am very active while he prefers to lie around, (and this was before his back injury) I am organized, yet I can't touch his unorganized things to clean, he is always late, where I can upset because I have to depend on him and I prefer to be early..He also rather not deal with problems until it is too late, where I much rather head off a problem before it gets too big, this includes raising our kids. He lets the kids get away with stuff and only deals with them after they have gone off the deep end..
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
13 Mar 11
Well sais, I was a pretty messed up teen when I met my husband and he seemed to be the protector between me and the world. He allowed me to do what I wanted, and that was to be a stay at home mom, but his habit of over spending had caused a riff between us. At the same time, his controlling issues have gotten old or the fact that my sister and a friend, (an online friend who I only met once in person)both pointed out how he is controlling. Not that I would leave him, but one of the reasons for getting a degree is in case to comes to a blow, I need to be able to stand on my own feet. His counselor has even told him he doesn't say things correctly, so he not only is critical to me, but to my kids, just like his dad was very critical. Oh he'll deny it, but I am seeing his father more and more as the years go by..
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
Do you say it has been more disadvantageous to you having different personalities? Is he already like that before you get married or you only get to know more about him after marriage? But I guess love has still found its way to both of you. You're personalities as a couple actually resembles that of my parents so I can see why you feel this way.
I believe love can be proven and made stronger by time so situations like this couldn't just break a relationship if the foundation is strong, and that foundation is your love for each other. After all you wouldn't have endured it all this time if not for love, right? :P
I believe love can be proven and made stronger by time so situations like this couldn't just break a relationship if the foundation is strong, and that foundation is your love for each other. After all you wouldn't have endured it all this time if not for love, right? :P1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
How often do you talk to each other about matters like this? I guess he's being critical because he can't accept that he is that way. I see that you both have different way of handling things. That is difficult if you are the only one making a way to make your paths in parallel with each other because it should be a collaboration I believe.
I don't have that much experience when it comes to having a family but I have witnessed how my mother become so patient that my father later realized it. I just hope that it will also work out for you carmela. I have seen how my mother sit beside my father being asleep and praying so much for him.
I guess try to communicate more with him especially in matters that affects both of you.
1 person likes this
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
In general my husband and I are opposite from each other. He is patient and calm Im more impatient and impulsive. He is slow to anger, I easily gets irritated. He is extravagant and I am frugal. We really got so much differences from each other but it will never be a factor to not have a good relationship. Every individual has its own unique personality. So its all up to the couple on how they will deal with each others differences. And instead of focusing on your incompatibilities better discover things that you both enjoy doing together.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
I guess it's possible that we can influence each other. It's how both find a way to make a relationship work. I'm more of a silent type but she has influenced me to be more expressive. She's a bit impatient but I have influenced her to improve on that. She's very sweet and I have learned how to be that way also to her. It's just wonderful when two of you make efforts to make your relationship work and last.
Thank you for sharing here. I'm really learning a lot.
Thank you for sharing here. I'm really learning a lot.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
I see that you need someone to take care of you because of your busyness. Well that's alright because if both of you are busy then no one will be able to attend to the needs of the other. Don't you mean to say that you need someone who is more relaxed than you? In spite of your busyness you should still try to give time for each other. I'm also a busy person but I make sure that my priorities are in proper order.
@khithi17 (762)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
Well, me and my hubby used to have the same personality when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. we like to do the same things, we like to eat the same food, we like to go to the same places. We like the same things and we love doing them together. But I guess things changes and people too. Now that we are married and have a son, we argue a lot because we can't agree on the same things. It's sad to know that one of us suddenly changed.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
Maybe he was trying to adjust having a family of his own already and that he didn't noticed how much he's changed. I do heard that many people change after marriage but as mentioned above that communication is a key to working out a relationship. I guess you should both be open to each other when it comes to serious matters and that could affect your relationship. I'm hoping that you could talk to each other about this matter and be able to work it out.
Thanks for sharing.
@patricia24 (568)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
I think I have the same situation with my husband, were totally different in every ways... in some aspect of course we both benefit each other, like in our business he is so quiet and cannot entertain our customers that well,im the one who entertain and explain to the customer the services and how he do it etc... because we have a computer services & repair.. so were working out our difference in our business...
But in the movies or tv series, I dont like action, he likes action.. so we're arguing on that matter, so were saving to buy another tv.. hehhe
Our difference are sometimes beneficial and sometimes not in some aspect, maybe it will just affect your relationship if you dont talk to each other or if you dont work this out.
Communication is still a key to good relationship.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
That is so true. I also see that no matter how compatible you are if without communication a relationship won't still be able to work out. Communication helps us understand each other more. It's how we make a way so that our paths will be in parallel with each other and doesn't cross or intersect.
I hope we'll all be able to continue working out our relationships.
Have a nice day.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
12 Mar 11
Personalities between my partner and i are very different. They say that opposites do attract and that seems to be right in my relationship. We do share some common interests but we are very different as well. I think that difference is something that we build our relationship on and keeps the spark.1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
13 Mar 11
Hi sender.
Differences between a couple keeps the spark in their relationship. This is sometimes how someone is willing to go on with a relationship despite of their differences. It is also a measure of acceptance as I see it. Once we are able to accept our differences then we are also willing to adjust with one another and that will show how much your love is for each other.
Thanks for sharing and have a nice day.
Just keep on building your relationship as well as the spark.
@cloud31 (5809)
•
12 Mar 11
Hello there again,
Well,in relationship not necessary to have the same personality,being opposite for somethings is just normal.To be able to learn what's your partner need, likes and dislikes.Those opposite characteristics that you had both will do much for adjustment for both, it can be use as an instrument to make your relationship grow fonder and stronger, if both are able to give and take for the sake of your relationship.
In my case,as long as love and understanding is there I would definitely able to adjust myself what could make me and my partner feel at ease with all matters and corners of our love affair no matter how opposite and how compatible we are.Its a feeling that count if you love someone, you are ready to it all.
Happy myLotting!
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
Hello there again too.
I guess you are right. Love will always find its way to those who truly feel it no matter how the same or opposite you are to each other. I also agree that we should be ready as well to accept differences when we enter a relationship because it's already a given. It's also a measure as to how much we are willing to accept the person we love. Tests will make it stronger and fonder.
Thanks for your wonderful response.
Have a nice day.
@grkelly (1206)
• Malta
12 Mar 11
Most people tend to agree that different personalities work better in a relationship. I agree with this up to a certain extent. Differencies are healthy, and one's positive elements make up for the other's negative ones. However, it is important that the negative points do not make the partner or spouse feel demotivated, dissatisifed etc. Differenecies need to be balanced out.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
It's also a way of saying that I can the strength of her weaknesses and vice versa. Positive and negative points should both work well so that love will have its spark and soon the passion for each other will grow.
Thanks for that positive response. Have a nice day.
Thanks for that positive response. Have a nice day. @dreamsharmin (2281)
• China
23 Mar 11
No i don't have same personality with my partner. We both are different. I do get angry very easily and my partner don't get angry easily. I do talk much with other and my partner don't do that.
And i am so happy that we both are different personality. And this way we do solve our all problem.As we both are different personality so the things that i don't like that my partner don't do and what my partner don't like that i don't do.
Good day friend!
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
We have a lot of things in common, we both love literature and music. He loves going to the park and I enjoy it too. But there are also some things that we both compliment each other. he loves to eat, I love to cook. He can't carry a tune, Oh, I love singing. He can't dance but enjoying watching people dance, I love dancing. I have no patience in downloading music, he does this for me. He loves downloading music videos. I can't understand boxing rules, he patiently explain them to me. And in some cases, we just tolerate each other. He loves to smoke, I tolerate his smoking (But always remind him of its bad effect on his health) I don't like action movies and just let him watch it while I sit beside him reading my book. I think if both of you can learn and discover each other weak and strong points, there's no way both of you can make compromises. Give and take is the game every couple must learn how to play every day of their life!
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
That is good that you compliment each other at some things. I see that it's also like having an adventure because of your differences. You play the part he don't play and he plays the part that you don't play. I also think that it adds spice to a relationship. I guess our differences sometimes helps us understand each other better.
@adnileb (5256)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
We are super opposite. And I guess that's the way it should be to have balance.
I'm the talkative type and he's not. Well, I just can't imagine if we both talk non-stop OR we both don't say a word. So I think what's beneficial is the opposite. It may affect the relationship though but maybe just in some aspects.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
12 Mar 11
I guess being opposite makes a relationship more exciting. I see that most girls usually do the talking while boys do the working. It's very beneficial to me because he's usually the one who makes me laugh. I can't also imagine having a girlfriend being so quiet all the time just like me and I think that will just make it boring. I'm happy with her being that way and she's also happy with me being this way.
It's very beneficial to me because he's usually the one who makes me laugh. I can't also imagine having a girlfriend being so quiet all the time just like me and I think that will just make it boring. I'm happy with her being that way and she's also happy with me being this way.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
20 Mar 11
We are very much alike but being like a twin maybe it's not good, the good points we are different it's good though, I'm very never worried about anything, he is very organized and if it wasn't for him we would forget many things. There are good differences.
I see many couples while one is very social and other is very shy, I find it intersting how differences seem more common in couples, like they complete each other.
