Just keep quiet!!!

Philippines
March 18, 2011 1:09am CST
hello I've been married for almost nine years and we have already five kids. In that long years sometimes we had little argument even for a simple incident. \When my partner angry I just keep quiet and close my mouth to show him that I'm harmless. I just want to ask Is it okay just to keep quiet and don't say anything when my partner angry. I am afraid that the argument gets bigger
4 people like this
20 responses
• United States
18 Mar 11
I think at the moment it is best to calm down and not fight but at some point you have to say how you feel. If you do not and keep remaining quiet you will continue to bottle it and each time the fight will be bigger. I think it is best to calmly discuss how you feel with your husband, especially since 9 years is long time. Good luck, I hope you two get this resolved.
@jaiho2009 (38988)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
That is one way of avoiding a bigger argument. But we can not blame other couple having a heated argument. Not all argument are petty for every couple to be able to control their feelings. Most heated argument is when one caught cheating or having illicit affair. In this case...it would be hard to control the temper then. have a great weekend
1 person likes this
@edsss17 (4397)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Hello, I think keeping your mouth shut while your partner is angry is good. I have observed from my parents that when one is angry, the other one will too and that will make a little argument go bigger and I really hate seeing it! See ya! :)
1 person likes this
• India
18 Mar 11
Yes, it’s a good thing to just keep quiet and let the anger dissipate. Most of us cant hold our tongues (me included) and the arguments just get worse and worse, sometimes even leading to divorce. However, if you feel that you can really keep quiet then it’s the best. At a later time, when your hubby is cool again, you can discuss your problems with him.
1 person likes this
@obe212003 (2300)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Keeping your silence does not mean you're weak, it is a simple tactful way of avoiding or preventing unnecessary heated argument and also a sign of respect and understanding that you have for your partner. Yes, there are times that you really need to burst out yourself, but sometimes the consequences for such action leads to more heated arguments with mouthful bickering, physical abuse, cursing, etc. For a couples, i think being able to realize when to speak up and to keep silent is a far better way to compromise such dilemma of arguments..
1 person likes this
@prasunsam (359)
• India
18 Mar 11
Well its a good thing to do,keeping quiet sometimes is a better.Keeping quiet protects us from unnecessary arguments.Sometimes its better to say nothing to avoid unnecessary events,otherwise it could lead to disaster in family and relationships.
1 person likes this
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
No one can really say if you are doing the right thing or not because no one will ever known the real situation. They may know what is happening at the moment but you have been married for 9 years so no one can possibly know the things that happened in that span of time. But that being said, I don't think that being passive in an argument is good. Being passive in anything is not good. You should always say what is on your mind but you have to do it in a good way. Don't nag him or anything like that. Just say your piece in an 'adult' way.
@icegermany (2524)
• India
18 Mar 11
its a good way to stop the fight and not prolong it but i think it should not be you who always keep quite and even your partner have to do this when you are angry. if not there are possiblities that he may take advantage and become dominating too. so be carefull and try not to make a way for fight instead.
1 person likes this
@arielfu (58)
• China
18 Mar 11
Hi,melvelasco,you're right to keep silence when argument. People usually say some words too far which will hurt others then they are getting angry,at last you will hurt each other.So i think you are a smart woman.But you should talk to him when the argument is over,tell him your feelings and find a way to make him calm down.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28226)
• Australia
18 Mar 11
Sometimes it is but so long as you are not giving up your rights as you have as much right to a happy life as him...But no-one likes to live with arguments especially if you have kids, they should not have to be witness to that...
1 person likes this
@flapiz (11352)
• United Kingdom
18 Mar 11
For me, It is good to be a quiet water when your partner is hot with anger. Because water can kill the fire of anger while fire and fire would just burn the house. :) Anyway you could always say your side if he is calmer already..
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
yes i think that's right i did that sometimes. thanks for advice
@katie0 (5208)
• Japan
18 Mar 11
Wow, five kids! Congratulations! I believe your house is really happy, always with that feeling of having a full house, like the sitcom. I hear all parents that have 2 or more kids want one to two hours for their own, just to be quiet and not do nothing.
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
well definitely your right, that's why my husband easily get irritated when he's home.
• China
23 Mar 11
yes it is ok that you just keep quite when your partner get angry. As you keep quite that's why your argument don't go so far. And argument should not give chance to get bigger otherwise it's really harmful for any relation. And i do believe that when you get angry your partner must be quite which is a good way to stop the argument soon. Keep it up your quite attitude. Good luck friend!
• China
23 Mar 11
yes it is ok that you just keep quite when your partner get angry. As you keep quite that's why your argument don't go so far. And argument should not give chance to get bigger otherwise it's really harmful for any relation. And i do believe that when you get angry your partner must be quite which is a good way to stop the argument soon. Keep it up your quite attitude. Good luck friend!
• United States
19 Mar 11
I believe at the moment of the argument it is okay for you to keep silent because it will then create anger. But at some time you are discussing you should be able to both discuss your feelings and how to work towards furthering repairing your future together.
• United States
18 Mar 11
I am one that can not keep quiet in an argument. Alot of times it does make it uglier. However, I feel that by keeping quiet I am allowing my husband to step all over me. If he can express himself then why can't I? Communication is key in any relationship. Both parties should be allowed to speak their minds! Don't lose yourself by keeping quiet especially if you allow him to constantly get "his way" to avoid another argument. You will wind up being bitter or hateful in the long run. Both parties have to be willing to listen to each other and compromise for a marriage to last.
@dawnald (84213)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Mar 11
As long as you are able to express your concerns later when he isn't angry any more, and as long as he doesn't get out of control when he's angry, I"d say that's OK.
• India
18 Mar 11
These are the common incidents going on in your personal or marriage life. They are never been serious, some time it will get bigger in a loud voice and get smaller in a short voice the voice is decreasing when he get cool. When your husband got angry first u should show him a smile in your face. Afterwards he became silent through your smile.But sometimes i don't know the simple incident's becomes huge disaster's don' get angry while your husband was shouting with u keep silent and show him a certain smile on your face he became silent.
@Cherish14 (2694)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
hi there, yeah it is good sometimes to just be quiet when he is very mad. you can wait for the situation to calm down, and you can talk to him about what happened when everything is calm already. i know sometimes it is hard to do that because we know sometimes we have reasons to answer. let us just try to be more understanding. as they say, when one is hot, the other one should be cold, so that way they don't end up fighting and make the situation worse... take care and be safe
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
18 Mar 11
Hi Melvelasco, I think that sometimes right in the heat of things that it can be better to just keep quiet rather than to add fuel to the fire. Still, I think communication is very important so when he calms down, I would probably try to talk to him about whatever is causing the arguments or his anger.