Dear God -- Why do I feel this way?

I do not know what is hurting you so very deeply, but through your words, I can feel that you are in great emotional pain. I can understand, I have been there too. I can offer you a little advice and pray that it helps you, but whether or not you take the advice is completely up to you. First, I have to say this, and it is a lesson that I had to learn on my own, even though I was told this time and time again. No matter what you are going through in life, your life is a gift and all that you go through happens because there is something to be learned from it. The lseeon may not be evident right now, but it will be eventually, and when the time is right, you will know the reasons behind your current situation. You are the only one who can decide how you allow things to effect you in life. You may be hurt so deeply that it feels as if you don't want to go on, but you, and only you, can decide how you react to the pain. You can allow it to eat at you and destroy you, or you can find some way to see something or make something good come from it. By allowing yourself to sit and be lonely, you are allowing yourself to miss out on other things that may bring you great joy. If you are staying in your room, you are missing the fresh air and all of the wonderful little things that nature brings. The simple little things that can bring great joy, yet we all seem to take for granted. If you allow the pain to overcome you, you are allowing that pain and whatever has caused it to control you and your life. By choosing to even enjoy the smell of the fresh air....really enjoy it, you are gaining some of that control once again. So, now I share my little piece of advice. This helped me get through and realize that I did not have to let pain control my life anymore. Look at yourself in the mirror. As you look at yourself, talk to your reflection as if you are talking to your best friend. Verbalize what you are thinking and how you are feeling along with the reasons why you fell this way. After that, tell yourself, while talking to your reflection, what you would tell your best friend to comfort them. Then, tell your reflection that you are no longer going to hurt because you are going to make these changes to help take back control. Tell yourself all of the great things that you can think about yourself and the things that you are allowing yourself to miss out on right now. Repeat this process whenever you are having a hard time making those changes that you told yourself you woud make or are feeling that hurt again. It takes time and it takees work, but I found that by talking to myself while facing myself in the mirror, it was easier because I was verbalizing those things and taking on the role of not only the one who was hurt, but the friend that was there to help me. I felt less alone and more determined to regain control. It felt silly at first, but the more I did it, the better I felt and the more I was determined to climb out of that depressed hole I was in. Then, day by day, find something to be thankful for and something that makes you smile. Keep asking God for guidance and He will help you through. If the Lord takes you to it, He will see you through it. I hope that this helps you, at least a little bit. If nothing else, you know that you are not alone.