Preparing for your children

Hi,well, i think your mother is half right. When she urged you to have a kid, she meant she want to see her grandchildren very much. And there are some people who begin to love kids after they got them. And besides financial conditions, we should also take our age into consideration when it comes to have a baby. If you got stabel income and can afford to have a baby, and if it will be a little old for your age if you don't have it now. Then you should take it into consideration. And it is advisable to have a baby while your parents or parents-in-law are still got ability to help you. You know, taking care of a baby is a tough job. Furthermore, in my experience, elders like small kids very much. So they expect to see their grandchildren. So try to understand what is on your mother's mind.

I don't know the rules in other religions, as I know, in Islam especially al-quran and hadith, explained that in every marriage and to every children's self-generated in a legitimate marriage, God has provided to them a special fortune. So, I think, very unwise, if only to get married and have children, we must wait until it is in enough financial position or within an established state of matter.

Many ladies think about when they want to begin a family. Like for example a 16 year old girl might think she will do her A levels from age 16 to 18. Then go to university from age 18 to 21. Next she will go off around the world for one year. Then from age 22 years old she will work in her career. She might plan to have a first baby around age 30 and a second baby at 32 years old. She might try to find a husband at around age 27 years old. Many other ladies just go with the flow of life. The just live day by day and don't plan having a baby at any particular age. Sometimes a lady can get a surprise pregnancy and then become ready to become a loving mom to her baby. It is wise to become stable with the finances and have a home to live in. I think that the time for you to have a baby will be when you feel ready. You are not yet ready to give your mom grandchildren.

Your heart is in the right place. However I think it's important to have a clear image in your head about what you think it means to be stable enough for a child. Do you expect to own a home? Is there a certain amount of money you expect to be making a year? Once you have a clear picture you can work towards those goals and when you get there you will know that you are ready. But I do see so many people that say they just want to be more stable, but they have no clear picture of what stability is. I'm seeing people that own a 4 bedroom home, they make 70,000 dollars a year or more and they still don't think they are stable enough to have children. Then there are the people that think that after they have a child they should be able to afford to give their child whatever they want... that is not healthy for a child. As long as your child has food and clothes, and a roof over their head... the rest should be a game of finding. I would not want my children to have whatever they want because then they get spoiled. My boyfriend spends over 1,000 dollars on his son for Christmas every year and he only makes about 600 dollars a month. I don't think that is right at all. And this is the main reason he wants to wait to have another child. But, I tell him that it's not right to give a child that many presents or that expensive presents as gifts every single year. Plus he gives his son 40 dollars a week in allowance for not doing anything around the house. I don't think you should do that when you are that poor. It makes no sense to me.

I think she is right. We usually have too many preparation for our life. We must listen many sentence like " Don't do that. You must wait when your age is..." You should get married and to have children when you love. You mustn't wait for any things! Wish you're happy!

Giving birth to children in one's younger age is healthy. Infertility will happen at any time. So don't get delay. God will show you a way to solve you financial problem. Our Almighty is totally against family planning. There are many people now a day who don't have children. If you don't want to go into that category try to become a mother as soon as possible.

Your mom is right, you will never be ready but i guess she was not really referring to money but more on to yourself, money is money you will always have those if you work hard. But children will be something you will never be prepared for. But i do understand your concern when you said you want to be financially stable if you have chilren because it is not a laughing matter, it is hard not to have money when you have kids, their needs are endless. From milk, to clothes, to school to everything. But your mom is right, you will eventually adjust and you will never be prepared when you have them. It is a matter of fitting in, a matter of big adjustments. But if you are still not prepared emotionally then think about it first. Being emotionally unready is harder than financially ready. I had mine when i was 19 and it was not easy it was tough, money was tough too, we had to borrow money but luckily me and hubby got through it, we are now stable and happy with 3 kids. It was not tough i tell you, but money was not the main matter, money can be found, we both worked hard for that but it was the emotional thing that was tough, it was really rocky road but we still passed it. So i believe you will be too..think about it. Kids bring a different kind of happiness.

For me yes you must gave the request of your mother because they want a carrier of baby setter.

i guess Money and environment is important for chhildren to grown , with money you can get foods and such , environment is important too will the child be safe and not threathen an such . above all things is the parents ready to face a lifetime of conmitment to take care of the child ti sacrifice their time and happiness for their the children sake .

It's not great when they pushes us right? But what mother doesn't want to become a grandmother at certain point? I know how you feel dear. I told my mom I won't have kids, that I'll adopt and she is going crazy. For her there's a big difference of the blood, for me she's just being separatist. But I'm not ready yet. I'll only adopt cause I realize orphans needs people that adopt when I was 14 and now thinking about it, I realize I won't even have children by blood.

it is indeed good to plan for your family. it is best that at this time, you are already thinking of the welfare of your future kids. it is a mark of your getting ready to parenthood. but i believe, your mother is also right in a way that when the time comes that you have your kids you will make adjustments. sometimes, it is true that experience is the best way to know the feeling and the situation. and there is the best time you will react according to what you know is right. emotional and other aspects come in time but financial aspect needs planning and action ahead of the situation especially if you have examples laid to learn from.

Hi,My point of view is that when to have a child is acoording to your actual conditiongs.I`m 29 years old,already married,but have no child.My parents also ask me to have a child .But now I still don`t have the condition because currently I don`t have my own house.

I think you can make some preparation for some time. Then whether you are ready, then go to have a kid. Just like nobody knows what he can do till he has done it.

hai childrens are the gift from the god.so we need to take care of the them and give attention to them kindly.

i would like to congratulate you first for being a matured and smart person because you are not like the other parents who just go on and have children without planning and without even the resources or capabilities to raise them. on the other hand, i think you should talk to your husband also and plan out when is actually the "best time" for you to have a baby. as you mentioned, you are financially stable already, then you may consider already having a child. of course, you also have to be emotionally prepared also as raising a child is no joke. i really dont think that there is a "best time" to have a baby, it all depends on the husband and wife and how they plan it. so i suggest you talk with your husband about this and decide if you are both ready for it.

Don't let her pressure you just because she wants a grandchild. You will know when YOU are ready not anyone else. I believe you can and should have a plan and prepare and that will be a lot better than just having a kid without a plan. You can plan to have a stable job, you can plan to have a certain amount of money saved you can plan by making sure you have adequate insurance in place. There is a lot of serious thought that should go into having a child because it will change your life and you should be fully prepared for that.

my answer, is no. \Every woman are peculiar. and of having a baby is precious gift from God. Maybe the fear that you've experiencing right now is what you've observe surrounds you. Be confident that you can raise a good child.

Hi ddaguno, I can't imagine have a child when you are not ready, or because someone else thinks that it is time for you to have one. Too many children are brought into this one unwanted therefore, becoming unloved. I think it is important that you know when the time is right for you and your significant other. You will have to raise that child and you want to give him or her the best possible life you can give; they desire nothing less. Weigh your position, your age, your mental state about having a child, and follow your own heart. If you do it when you, and only you, are ready, then you will have a happy pregnancy as well as a delivery of a healthy beautiful baby that you looked forward to being born.

Hi ddaguno, Although your mum means well, there really is no time clock as to when you will or will not be ready. Sure there are some risks the older you get but at your young age there is no need to rush and not properly be able to take care of the child. I am sure she wold be ecstatic about a grandchild, but also sure the she understands that it is more then just having a child. Financially able is a very responsible approach. I think it is wise for now because you know where you stand financially and rushing into to just to have one could potentially further financially strap you. Sure some can say awh go ahead and have it because with one child you being a responsible person will do what it takes to raise it properly. True, but is that what you want though? What you want and when you want it specifically will depend o you.

Your mom is right having a kid is not a joke. I just gave birth so I'm talking base on my experience. You need money for everything. Like you need money when you are giving birth. You need money for diaper and milk. In my case I need to stop working for a while to take care of my baby. So, you must prepare yourself financially. Save money as much as you can. Having kids is wonderful so it's worth it.