Husband cheated me.

I'm sorry to hear that... but before you get so sad, should you go find out is that realyl what you are thinking about? I don't think there should be secret in between a couple, I think you definitely have the right to go ahead and ask your husband what is going on if it bothers you so much. It's better open it up and talk then hiding. I wish good luck to you!!!

lil_32072, I am not going to paint a nice picture for you or defend your husband's actions. However, I need to be blunt with my observation that your avoidance and denial will not bring any solution but tells me that your communication lines are so damage that there are actually much emotional underlying current, even if the marriage appears to be 'surviving'. The shelving of issues in marriage would only seek to build resentment and accumulate intense hatred that would shatter your relationship into millions of fragmented glass pieces. By then, it would be challenging to even want to do anything about it because it would be so broken to try to mend anything. Let me just sat that there are no free passes in life and sometimes we just need to "fight" for whatever is rightful and territorial. Even in this instance, you may not want to accept the facts but keeping quiet and continually second guessing what is going on at the other side of the wall isn't going to give you any answers. Much worse, you may be telling your husband that you are too preoccupied to save this marriage. Basically, I am advocating that the both of you have a heart-to-heart talk. Minus guilt-pressuring. minus overly emotional speech, minus finger pointing. Not forgetting, to leave your children with your in-laws or parents for the occasion, so that there will no distractions. Speak to your husband about the reality of your marriage, to such extend that if this fails, you might want to seek a common agreement (and willingness) on finding a marital counsellor if both of you still wish to save or work on this marriage. Take care and have a nice day.

i am sorry to hear abut this. i would not be saying that this could be a false hunch.. but you have got yourself an evidence, so we can say... keep the receipt, and keep the no. of the woman... if you can even keep a copy of the messages that was exchanged, that can sure give your husband no excuse right?? I would suggest you to talk to your husband about this though.. not to keep it from him what you alrready know. I remember the same thing happened to my mom about my dad.. and when she confronted him, my dad already was soo madly in love with the woman that he had the nerve to tell my mom that he wanted to keep two families, that other woman and us. now my mom's bestfriend also had the same problem with my uncle... and what she did, she followed his husband to their meeting place and she made sure that the other woman and her husband saw her, then she left with no other word, and did no confrontations... The difference of these is that my dad got deeper in the relationship and was not willing to let the other woman go... my mom's friend was already caught in the middle, or maybe at the start of his womanizing.. and he let the woman go because i guess he was in no deep feelings yet... I hope whatever you decide to do, pray to God for guidance... Pray that he secures your family and be calm in dealing with this issue with your husband.. I hope it turns out well for you and your family and your husband awakens and finishes that no good sideline relationship that he has...

Hi. lil_32072. This is so sad, I am very sorry. I think that you should calmly confront him. You already know the truth, so you will have to face it and don't make anymore excuses for him. If he is cheating, then he is wrong. Once you have confirmed that he is so cheating, get a divorce.

Dear Lil, I am feeling very deeply sad of what happened to you. I am so sorry really to hear it. I can imagine how disturbed you may feel. The man I was supposed to marry cheated me. Two years later we discovered that my father cheated my mother with a woman younger than me and that they had a hidden baby of 2 years. It won´t be easy to you. I can imagine how mentally disturbed you are. If I were in your place I will confront him. My parents got divorced, and my mother, my brother and I, got a terrible crisis, even now, 15 years later, crisis is hitting us. I still cry for my father and blame my mother. Even if I don´t want to, it´s a deep inner pain. I have seen so many marriages where they cheated her, and she decided to send them to sleep to another room, for a couple of years. And indeed, this has worked fine for the whole family. I´ll pray a lot for you! Blessings!... Dainy

All responses are good. One general advise is to confirm that fact. And if it is confirmed, just measure your capacity to handle problem. By your talking i am sure You are enough able to find out your best way.What i advise is that just let it happen you should enjoy other part of life and be passionate. One day you will find your husband tired doing all this non sense. Its part of life..be happy..

I think that others can only give you their opinion based on their experiences in such a sad situation. As a therapist, I have met many people who have found themselves in this situation, and from my experience, it has always been the best option to get the situation out into the open. What makes a relationship strong it truth, and if the relationship gets to be dishonest it starts to get weaker. I would say that if you do not know what to do right now, it would be good for you to just focus on the problem for a while and see what your thoughts and feelings are saying you should do. I am sorry to hear that you are not in a happy situation right now, but if you deal with it, the way you feel it best, then you will get to realize that nothing is permanent, and that bad times always give way to good times and vice versa. Good luck with your decision. I know exactly how bad it can feel. _Derek

i feel sorry for that lil, but life must go on don't ever make your self misserable, this is so unfair for you, I know this is a hard time for your marriage, but be strong, continue on living don't ever let your husband control your life, if you think that your husband has an affair still stand strong and make a decision that you know you will get through of it, first think you do is pray to God to make you strong. And Look surrounds you that their are so many who loves you, if you had kids look an to them a make them your foundation to stand. I mean be your inspiration to live. I'm sure your husband never knew that you had aware for what he was doing. Be patience and make a wise decision, and try to talk him. If you think your relationship never work out, and your not happy anymore, then maybe that's the time to make a decision. hope it helps.

I am not married but know about cheating.You must remember that your ties are with your husband if you cant confront him because you dont want trouble or arguements why do you think its a good idea to confront the woman? Honestly i will say you need to sit with your husband and talk this over.Tell him what you have found and what its doing to you and your children.Let him know that you are angry but wants to resolve this.You want the truth and that you will forgive him. Remeber this is your husband and remember the children in all this.Regardless of your emotional rage maintain a strong hold on the situation.Try getting the truth from him and if that doesnt work out to your satisfaction confront the woman.But start with the hubby.

Hi lil, I can never understand why married person cheat on each other? There is so much to loose and nothing to gain. What other woman can give a guy what wife can not? I am really sorry for you and i can understand how you must be feeling, even though i am a guy. First of all please do verify if this is all true or not and then do confort him. This is your social, moral and legal right. I hope soon it would be all right and do tell that woman too that he is a married guy because she may not know he is married.

Don't skip your meal for others and don't get upset for others though some time we can't stop our self to be upset. But you should try yourself. And why still you are quite as you guess that there could be some baby. Try to collect some more evidence that prove that he is cheating with you. And then ask him directly and tell him that he doesn't have any rights to cheat with you. If needs take your family help. Have a good time!

I'm so sooo sorry!!!!! My heart goes to you. What a weak selfish person...Do what your heart tells you dear, but maybe you should wait, let emotion set down a little before the next move, but in my case it was good bye forever.

I think you should confront your husband about that problem, it is not healthy if you suppress your feeling. I know that you are in fears because of whatever might happen but you should face the reality.

Soon or later you will have deal with that issue. I believe the sooner the better.

I think the sooner you fixed this problem, the better. As you say, it will only goes out of hand if it is left longer. Cheating in a relationship is not an easy matter to be dealt with. You have to confront your hubby first before going to the woman and ask him to be very honest with you. I'm sorry to hear that you have to experience this. Hope everything will be sorted out soon. Good luck. Take care and have a nice day.o

Hi lil, i advice you to make your husband sit and you talk to him , ask him about what you saw and about everything, and make him clear that you love him and you treat the same if he leaves that woman , and ask him what lagging in you and don't worry its good only if you talk to him, hoping for the best, take care.

Here's what i can say,from my very own experience. Say what's on your mind,please..do not keep what's inside. Cry out,scream and then relax. Try to have the right timing when to asks your husband. If he denies,fine.. that happens. Give him ultimatum,not to scared him..but at least give him something to think. Before,i tried to keep silent like what you are doing. So,my husband is so confident that i loved him that much. Then,i confronted him,first he denied,but later accepted and asks forgiveness. I do,i had forgiven him...but,then again,has another affair with another girl. Same thing happen...i keep forgiving him. Until one day,i woke up feeling nothing...no love at all. So,i asks for freedom...there is no use of living together when he keeps cheating. Right now,make up your mind,and again...let your feelings flow. Do not keep it...it will be hard,and would give you stress...it won't give you good result either.

I'm really sorry to hear this but if i were in your situation, i would pack my bag and leave my husband. Actually i would pack his bags and tell him to leave my house. I cannot tolerate cheating. According to what you have written, there is sufficient evidence to prove that he is cheating and there's no need for confrontation. If you confront him, he might deny it and you would get into a fight and as you've mentioned, you hate fighting. If i were in your shoes, i won't confront him anymore because i have enough evidence to prove what he has done to me. I just have to conclude our relationship and that is to put an end to what we have. If i am still important to him, he would find ways to get me back, but if he doesn't it only means that he chose the other woman over me.

Well! I must say that this is not a simple issue to address. I've never had love affairs so I could not give you a straight way. The only advice I think is to try to keep yourself calm, without you taking too much agitation and anger. Others I could not tell.

If you`ve found evidence, you need to confront him. Yes, he may deny, but it`s not gonna help keeping it in. And I doubt you want to keep this relationship up if he`s seeing a woman on the side. Scumbags like him dont deserve to be treated well. Goodluck.