Using your husband's surname...

@babyEj (1522)
Philippines
March 31, 2011 12:03am CST
In our country after you get married you have to use your husband's surname. For me, I loved to use it yet there's indescribable feeling at the first time I saw my name with his surname. I would like to hear your voice with regards to; - some women who are giving emphasis to their maiden name connecting it to the husband's surname.. feminists ways...??? - women who are not using husband's surname if he (husband) isn't around.. - wives retain their surname and didn't want to change it... i hope we can share our thoughts objectively...
1 person likes this
16 responses
@chinchoy (191)
• Hong Kong
31 Mar 11
In the old days, I mean hundreds of years ago, a wife is a piece of property of the man who married her. That is why she has to wear his name in front of hers. She is now a member of another clan. Today, we are still doing it because nobody really care whether we change this custom or not. Some women, I would not call them feminists, would keep their own lastname. I also happen to know some, who would wear their husband's surname and be proud of it. I guess it is just a matter of personal choice, no more or no less. I know that there are still many parts in the world that have laws regarding this aspect but I believe they should be abolished. When two people get married, there is nothing to do with how they are called by others. People should be allowed to decide for themselves.
1 person likes this
• India
31 Mar 11
Hello dear, I have been married for last 12 years and my marriage was intercaste marriage. Like I belong to Hindu khatri cast whereas my husband is sikh( that is his religion). I loved my surname and did not want to change it. Even my husband had no objection to my keeping my old surname but our son uses my husband's surname. Though there is nothing wrong in attaching husband's surname with your name, but it was my personal feeling that since I got to say my name I had been uttering my surname along with my name and the thought of changing it was too difficult to even think about.
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
1 Apr 11
I had the same feeling at the first time I wrote my name with my husband's surname. I would like to know if there will be no problem in terms of accessing some public papers in the government's office? Is it usual and acceptable in your country? Happy mylotting!
• India
4 Apr 11
No we do not have any problem in this regard. Rather when u change your surname u hv to go through all the formalities like publishing in the newspapers, writing to all banks and if u are working they u hv to notify yr office also.
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
31 Mar 11
My name is my identity. If I change it, I call myself something else, I don't feel like me any more. I did not change mine.
@mermaidivy (15395)
• United States
1 Apr 11
I took his last name as well after we got married, I thought it sounded weird for a while but I got used to it quickly and I like it.
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Apr 11
Hi baby.. Here its not mandatory to have your hubby's surname after your name. But some women like to use it and some continue the same they had. Have a nice day.
@llbo1981 (1237)
• China
1 Apr 11
It is just a kind of custom in some country.In my area of my country,we have not the custom about your topic.I think it has no importance about whether using your husband's surname or not
• United States
31 Mar 11
I had always expected to change my name, but when I actually did get married, I didn't want to. I hate his family and I do not want to be linked to them in any way. Maybe I'll change my mind later if I ever get over what terrible awful people they are. But for now, I just don't want to.
@Galena (9110)
31 Mar 11
for a start, since I was old enough to make such a choice, I took my mums surname instead of my dads, as she raised me by herself, and he was not someone I was at all close to. so as she is more family to me than he ever was, it's more right that I use her name. so as my name is one that I chose to use, I do have more attachment to it. also, my surname is really unusual, and has ties to where my family originated, and has a lot of history tied in to the place. my husbands surname is Wood. nothing wrong with it, but it's fairly usual. so I just double barrelled and put his name at the end. it's not a feminist statement, it's just that I didn't want to go from having an unusual surname (I recently looked it up, and there's just over 60 people with it in the UK. I'm related to most of them) with a lot of strong ties to my history and my family, to a surname that is really quite common. there's a lot of them about. I've had people say that it they "can't see why people bother getting married if they don't change their name". well I'm sorry, if I wanted to change my name I'd deed poll. marriage is not about changing your name, it's about committing to spend the rest of your lives together. if we do have children, they'll have both surnames, as they come from both families.
@anklesmash (1412)
31 Mar 11
I have a radical solution to radical feminists who oppose taking their husbands surname on principle.i think they should swop surnames the husband can take the wifes surname and the wife can take the husbands surname
• United States
31 Mar 11
I use my husband's name. I have no issue with changing names I think it is a personal choice. I like having the same last name as my kids.
• United States
31 Mar 11
I live in the US and have been married for over three years now and I took my husband's name after we got married. I like my maiden name, but I also feel that my husband's last name went well with my first name. I am a substitute teacher and they always call me Mrs. I know people who are widowed and they still go by their married name. I know some people who are no longer married and still go by their married name because of the kids. I think taking your husband's name should be a personal choice.
• United States
31 Mar 11
Here in the US it is not mandated to use their husbands last name. It is our choice and some do and some do not. I was married once and did use my ex-husband's last name. After my divorce I kept it simply because I have two children and did not want them to feel they were different if we had different last names. If I was ever to remarry I would use my new husbands last name as well. I don't blame some for not wanting to because I guess we are just accustomed to preference and choice is my opinion.
@dznurani (160)
• Indonesia
31 Mar 11
hi, I've been marry for almost 2 years and it's common here to use our husband's surname among the neighborhood. but it's just me, I'm not familiar with this :) so sometimes when my neighbor call me with my husband's surname, I didn't feel she call me lol. but as time go through, now I'm more familiar with it
• Indonesia
31 Mar 11
Here in in my country and belief, we never put our husband surname behind our name, if we like to change our name it will be quite difficult to renew again all of our certificate where in all of them using name that given by our parent. These days new generation they start to put in their children name. It's just personal thing for me wether you like to use or not, but if it is too complicated i wouldn't do that, i might use in social network site but not for certificate as i want same name in all my certificate.
@Lucky09 (1763)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
hi babyej^^;; me and my husband's nationalities are different. in the Philippines, most wives adopt their husband's name or connect it to their maiden surname especially if they have a profession inorder for their clients to easily recognize them. in my husband's country, they don't follow their husbands name and only their children can follow their fathers surname which makes the wife look like an outsider when u put their names on a list...which i didn't like so i still adopted my hubby's surname and because i didn't like my surname because it's difficult to pronounce and i think it's funny hahaha. my teacher in highschool used to say that i am lucky i am a woman i can change my surname when i get married LoL
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
if ever i get married in the future, i will surely use my husband surname, not that i don't like my surname, it's just i think of it as being a woman it's a sign of being submissive to your husband, and taking the name of your man feels a little more secure that you are under his responsibility and protection. it's a give and take situation, man gets the power over a woman's child and a woman get's the power over the man's surname FAIR MATCH