To forgive is to forget

Philippines
April 2, 2011 7:18pm CST
This is one of my favorite lyrics I've got from a song. However, I just can't.Why? because if you are hurt its hard to forgive. One of my friend , my very close friend did not greet me on my birthday last year and I was hurt. We have our phones so no problem about it , we have internet again no problem about it, a simple word of greetings of happy birthday is all I ask but I receive nothing. And when her birthday comes as a revenge I did not greet her too. Is that right? Are we fair now? Actually we are apart now but then communication is always available, so I believe that even your closest friend can forget you because no friends last long.
10 responses
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
To forgive is to forget is the best thing that we can do to end hurting ourselves.
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
Thanks for the response. I realized now that life is too short we must value what we have right now and just nurtured it.
@chaze01 (185)
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
Hi gurlcrush17, I'm sorry to say this but what you did was petty and childish. If you have such a big problem with your friend missing out on your birthday, why not just say and have a discussion about it. Was ignoring her birthday satisfying? What good did it give you for throwing that kind of tantrums. Sometimes people forget because they are busy and are undergoing some major upheavals in their lives. By calling their attention by their insensitivity then some measures of reconciliation could have been done about it.
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
yes I admit it I'm the one with mistakes and I'm feeling guilty right now. Thanks for your response and I hope you can help others too. I realized now that greetings is not as important as you talking personally if there is any problem.However, Do you think that I'm not as important as others in her life because greetings can never be forget if you are really a close friend. That's is my own opinion, if a person really become part of your life you will always remember that person. But sometimes things happen like this people forget your special day.
@allen0187 (58438)
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
i respectfully disagree... never forgive, never forget is the way to go!!! i'm kidding. i would say for your particular situation, it would have been better if you went ahead and greeted your friend on her birthday even though she forgot greeting you. really, no need to carry such a big emotional baggage like that. hopefully, both of you patch things up. keep us updated. cheers!!!
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
Thanks for that I really agree , that was my big mistake by not greeting her on her special day. Don't worry I think I'm the only one who carry such unreasonable act, when I liked her post in fb she even said that she miss me and I'm touch so now I'm feeling guilty. But isn't that if somebody forgets your birthday it means that you are not special to them compared to others. Well that's only for my own analization , too bad I'm not one of those so important in her life.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
You should have sent her a greeting, she might have felt guilty then and it would have been a sweet revenge. I can forgive but I could never forget. When something painful happened to me and I was hurt by somebody I cared about, friends, lovers or family, i could forgive but forgetting what has happened is impossible for me.
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
Yet I did not, even a sms , I feel guilty right now and I think that i'm only the one who did that foolish thing. I didn't even think how busy she is, with her work or any circumsatnce which barred her in greeting me. yes all that things would remind me in the future, but right now I think positively by forgetting all of that and just face the world with a smile. I've just realized that life is short and if we cannot forgive somebody we will just bring that until the end.
@gelayagui98 (1336)
• Australia
3 Apr 11
I do not agree on this phrase, I can easily forgive but I can not easily forget. when friend harm me for whatever reason, yes right after the incident I can forgive him but the damaged has been done you can not bring back your friendship as it is before the incident.
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
Sometimes I agree , sometimes also not but the question is when? I've just realized that time is too short and so right now we should value our friendship. Yes the harm is there and life is really unpredictable, but what I did is too show to my friend as if there nothing happens and just try my best to rebuild-up our frinedship again because that was life is for me ,its just a challenge.
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
3 Apr 11
They say if you aren't friends now, you were never friends at all. Does that friend make effort to get in touch at all? If she does talk to you on other days besides your birthday, at least she does think about you. If not, maybe she's busy with new things. People change, maybe you have stopped talking to other people who cared about you as well.
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
I agree thanks for that.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
3 Apr 11
Forgiveness gives power to not be overwhelmed by negative feelings and emotions that maintain the pain. Forgiveness is a book, a free and voluntary act, not a feeling, is an open process that brings freedom. Oblivion is actually an outlet, an infected wound hiding under a colorful bandage. Forgetting forgiveness off slowly but without the deep soul that has not forgiven. Forgetting is a self-deception, a cruel lie of man against himself. You're right that the human is not easy to forgive them. Is practically impossible. But that is not possible to man is possible with God. Only He can learn to forgive. But we are also commanded to do so. Commandment forgiveness is to our benefit, it is time for love. It's good to forgive first and then possibly forget. It would be, if I would fit me. If forgiveness is to cover everything with a "coat", if remission can be called face of indifference and carelessness that enjoy the greatest, if forgiveness is to keep your life you had before ... then I forgave him. But not so! For me, forgiveness means you can avoid things, places, moments I do not feel anything, for me, forgiveness was associated with trust and he hit me so bad, that I am afraid to watch before. Forgiveness must come from your heart and believe that only forgetting, injury and pain will disappear from the soul, and forgiveness will make its appearance!
• Oman
3 Apr 11
Actually, what you did was not right my friend. You should have greeted your friend on her birthday. Never ever avenge someone for something that she did to you. She might have not intentionally forgotten your birthday. She might have been preoccupied with her life which later prompted her to fail to greet you on your birthday. You should have tried to confront her and ask her why so you will know the reason why she failed to greet you. She's your friend and you should have gone an mile further to find out why and the reason behind it. Remember, it takes a lifetime to earn one's reputation especially for a friend but it takes a second to lose it. Which do you prefer? =)
@mj_aye (45)
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
yeah. its hard to forget and to forgive if you have no desire to do them. but once you have this desire that you want to forgive and to forget the hurtful event, then you would a much easier and happier time. sometimes, in order to freely give our forgiveness, we have to understand the person, imagine if we are on his shoes. think about how hurtful it would bring if your friend whom you have offended would close his doors and would not even want to undrstand you.. c: dont be tired of learning to forgive and forget.. c:
• Philippines
3 Apr 11
Yes a little bit strange at first but when you find the peace that you want for that person you will learn to forget, a little bit odd though if sometimes we tend to lower our pride we can learn to adjust and decidingly able to ingest the feeling of really forgiving another one, it will only take time but it will matter not in the end.