Ending the friendship
By Toni
@toniganzon (72285)
Philippines
April 4, 2011 11:48pm CST
I have met a lot of men online who flirted with me even though they know the fact that i'm married. I just laughed at them but never gave them any false hopes. I told them from the very start that i am married and yes i do flirt back for fun when the chatting is done in public like in a paid to chat site. However, when i talk in private chat i never flirted with anybody and feels a little uncomfortable when they do and so i told them right off the bat i am not that kind of woman and they apologize right away.
Then there's Ryan who told me yesterday with all honesty that he's really attracted to me because i'm smart, funny, and nice to talk to. He has never met someone like me and to be honest he's not in love with me but loves talking to me and he would never hope for something in the future knowing right from the beginning that i'm married. He asked if i'm bothered by his flirting and if i am he would stop immediately as he would rather keep me as very good friend forever than not have me as a friend at all.
I appreciate his honesty and actually i'm not bothered by his flirting because he seems to be a cool guy. He does it in a subtle way that i don't feel uncomfortable and just take it as a joke. Now, should i end the friendship knowing he's attracted to me?
8 responses
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
Life would somehow tease us, or even entice us to live within the limits, within the border line. But GOD teaches us to live a life with margins. So, I would suggest, keep him as a friend, but knowing he's attracted to you, just don't talk to him very so often. Casual talk and chat would be okay, and don't ever let your guard down, I trust you, but I still wouldn't be able to trust the other party so to be safe. Just don't hang out with him online so often.
I know you don't want to disappoint him too, so just be as nice as you could but be sure to clearly draw the lines every time.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
Thank you for this advice my good friend. Yes i am keeping my guard and i would never be attracted to anybody at all. As you know me i am not that kind of woman, but you are right. I can be trusted but we don't know him that much. Yes i do try to keep my distance and he noticed that too sometimes so that's the reason why he said that he would rather have me as a good friend for a long time than lose me because of his stupidity hahaha.
1 person likes this
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
LOL. yeah, he wouldn't want to lose you forever for acting stupid just one time. He's a smart guy though to figure it out early on and asked. I know you, so I wouldn't worry. :) Good to see you feeling and seeming to be better now. God is great! :)
@Prasmit (22)
• India
5 Apr 11
I think there is no need to end your friendship as far as its clear from both the sides. Be a good friend, but always be safe because you say, you dono the other person completely. There are people who act as a good person at the start of the friendship by telling all sorts of things but by the time passes they show there true color. Just be a good friend.. If you think there might be any threat from him at any stage please avoid that person. Please do not share your personal things with an unknown person...
You be in your limits continue being a friend, they def you will not get into any trouble... :)
Hope i am not wrong... :)
Thank you :)
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
I am hoping that you are wrong too. But so far the people I have met especiallybthose who are over 30 are decent enough to be friends, but then we could never tell unless we meet them in person.
@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
If I were in your shoes, I'll end the friendship with the online friend. You don't know him personally and he might be thinking something not really you. If you continue to chat with, there may come a time in the future that he will flirt with you and ask you for an eye ball and you might be encourage to see and meet him also. I just don't trust men who flirt online and they are just taking mere advantage of us girls.
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
Did i mention he's half a globe away? Do you think it's ever possible to meet somebody that far just to see each other and what? If one has bad intentions then it would be possible but i am not a person who would spend thousands of dollars just to meet someone half a globe away from me to talk or be good friends.
I have met friends here in mylot too and i never for one second thought or even desperately think of going out of my way to meet them.
@anneish (117)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
NO...there's no sense of ending the friendship that you built with each other..in the first place you said that he knew that you are already married...so what the used of ending it, he knew where he stand and you also know your limit in this matter and he's not expecting much more than your friendship. so i think it's okay for you to be friends with him....after all respect is all matter he respect's you as a married woman and his being honest about what he feel for you and you what you think about what he feels for you...you have already a clear communication about that matter so there's no problem my friend.
1 person likes this
@moirai (2836)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
I don't understand why you would end the friendship at this point. =P
While he did tell you that he's attracted to you, (and one might think that's a point of concern), he also did say all those other things (that he's not in love with you..., he would never hope for something more, he knows you're married), didn't he?
The important thing is you know your place and he knows his place, and both of you know not to go anywhere you shouldn't go.
I do hope you keep the friendship going...
You know why? Because that is actually my line... =P 'I would rather keep him as a friend than not to have him as a friend at all.' That applies to a number of my chat friends from just around the corner to halfway across the globe...
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
Sometimes we just don't know if the person is telling us the truth because we couldn't see them. Yes he might have said this to keep me as a friend, but then who knows that he's hiding what his true feelings are. As of the moment i am keeping him as a friend as he is nice to talk to and gives good advices when i need one. Definitely i would know if he's taking his friendship with me further and i think i would know what to do then.
@madp_071983 (228)
• Oman
5 Apr 11
For some reasons, NO! He might be after the friendship and not a relationship not unless you discern and sense that he is taking advantage of your kindness then it would be fine to end the relationship. It might be hard though but you must. Your husband must also be aware of it so as to avoid any misunderstanding and conflict with him as your significant other. =)
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
5 Apr 11
My husband is aware of everything and he knows who those people are that are attracted to me. He trusts me but he just doesn't want to listen to all the details about it.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
10 Apr 11
hi,
i think that decision should come from to yourself,if you feel unhappy on that its still up to you,and if you think you are uncomfortable to him its still up to you.decision still yours in the end.for me i think you dont need to end your friendship on him.
@ashish3090 (254)
• India
5 Apr 11
I think as you are married so better end this relationship, otherwise it will damage your married life very badly. As yo have met him online I dont think that what he have shared about him will be true, until you met him face to face. Therefore firstly you tell your husband about all these, after that take some wise decision about him....
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
YOu should have read before posting first. I told my husband and he is very well aware of this. How can something like that ruin a marriage. If i am hiding it from my husband because i have an intention of having an extramarital affair with this man, then it might ruin my marriage. Otherwise, i don't believe it would.
