Equality in marriage

@sender621 (14932)
United States
April 5, 2011 7:54am CST
Marriage is seen bymany as the union between two people that have love for each other. Respect and trust and honor are thrown in to keep the relationship strong. We are told when we get married that we are equal partners in the relationship. do you truly believe there is equality on both sides in a marriage?
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30 responses
• United States
8 Apr 11
No. That is why I nwe er thought I could merge love and marriage. For me , I had to choose one or the other. I chose love. To me Marriage isn't equal at all. Or I should say my marriage woulsdn't be equal at all! My husband would rule me , or try. I would resnt him and there would be war. I know , I know marriage Doesn't Have to be that way. It Just would be that way with me.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Lve is a powerful emotion that we live with. Marriage is a partnership that often loses balance when one partner is more dominant and controlling than the other.
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• United States
9 Apr 11
To me Marriage Is Set up for the man to rule over the wife.I will not be ruled ,so it would be a war.
@kheydia (882)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I think so, when you both work it out and talk frequently about things happening in your married life and both will respect each other as co partners of your family and no one is the boss...
@sender621 (14932)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Respecting each other is so important to the relationship in marriage. sometimes we can seem to forget that and take each other for granted.
@kheydia (882)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
Maybe in some, or sometimes when the other is wanting to decide something that they really wanted to do, and the other doesn't want it, doing what you want is being selfishness...
@macayadann (1235)
• Philippines
7 Apr 11
Equality means balance, a give and take relationship. Usually difference lies in opposite status of education and jealousy. One can not move and decide for a concrete solid foundation of reaching out for the satisfaction and success for they do not jive into one solution. Conflict in understanding always occur.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
7 Apr 11
What we do throughout a relationship can contribute to the balance that we give it. If we don't have a good beginning, we will surely have an ending.
• Philippines
7 Apr 11
Knowing your partner is the best way to have a happy ending.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
6 Apr 11
In any relationship whether marry or not there never is equality and why not? because one of the partner[ man or woman]will take over! and if you mean about house work? well one partner will be more responsible than the other and that is a fact!
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
A partnership doesn't have to have absolute standards or limitations. that doesn't give a more dominant partner the right to have control in the relationship.
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
6 Apr 11
That may be so...but it does happens more often than you think!
@patgalca (16782)
• Orangeville, Ontario
5 Apr 11
There should be equality in a marriage but unfortunately that isn't always the case. When a couple marry they become one - a team. When children come along then they need to work together, but I just don't see that being the case. I know it's not in my house. My husband would rather be a friend to his kids than a parent. I am unable to work due to illness and have no income; I feel deprived financially because he does what he wents whether we can afford it or not, yet I am told "We don't need groceries this week." I know this is just my own experience but it's like that more often than not, I'm afraid. There is a double standard and always will be... until women rule the world.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
5 Apr 11
Sometimes the team becomes uneven in their support and duties. It shouldn't be that way in a marriage. Everything should be split evenly but it often doesn't come out that way. Just because your husband is the one with the income should not leave you feeling disadvantaged. he needs to include you all of the decisions and not make them himself.
@patgalca (16782)
• Orangeville, Ontario
5 Apr 11
I totally agree.
• Philippines
16 Apr 11
i thought that equality here would mean that both the husband and wife has a voice in the marriage. Both can voice out their opinions, their likes and dislikes, and that both should hear each other out. Both can make the decisions when it comes to their marriage, to their family.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
16 Apr 11
Knowing when t speak up and knowing when just to listen is very important to any relationship. If a marriage doesn't have that balance it is truly missing something worthy.
@tkonlinevn (5783)
• Vietnam
15 Apr 11
Yes, I truly believe it. I always think that life will be good if we have a good relationship. Not only in marriage but also in many other fields of life.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
15 Apr 11
Thank you for the response. We need to have balance in our relationships. If we don't than everything else seems lacking.
@didi13 (2925)
• Romania
14 Apr 11
1. Equal prone to competition and competition is good it elsewhere, but not in a relationship. 2. Equality is an illusion, a dream of emancipated women, which is impossible. Always one to do more and another less. 3. Lack of equality, does not mean that one is above and one beneath. 4. Lack of equality does not mean the absence of concessions, compromises and agreed to take important decisions. 5. I do not think the studies 'modern', they usually find sites for the colored magazines for women and brain washing. Rather, in the specialty. He confronts a poll showed specialists "or" a study "does not give more credibility. Conclusion: there will not be equal because we are too different. Different does not mean superior or inferior. Whether she will be the astute who leaves the man to believe that the important decisions he or astute man will give women the feeling that they participate in important decisions and will not leave any doubt that he leads. As long as there is desire for equality, there will be a gender war.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
14 Apr 11
We can look for the same qualities as we have in a partner for marriage. We also look for differences that we find appealing. combining our differences and similarities alike can give us more balance to have equality in marriage.
@gelayagui98 (1337)
• Australia
14 Apr 11
Equal sharing of power has strong impact on a marriage. Power struggles do occur in marriage, but the victim-victimizer syndrome is really just a myth. If you allow your mate to always be the leader and you the follower, you need to analyze why you allow this to happen. You may be letting him get away with bossiness because of a lack of self-esteem. Marriage is a pattern, you can either turn it into a beautiful dance or a vicious power game.
@sender621 (14932)
• United States
14 Apr 11
We seem to have obstacles in any relationship. Marriage is a big commitment to another person. Finding equality can be harder than it looks.
@indahfth (11169)
• Indonesia
8 Apr 11
Right now, I feel there is no equality in my marriage. My husband, more right than I took decision. Equality does not apply in my marriage, but possible, apply at another wedding.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Thank you for adding your comments. te are very much appreciated as every opinion does count.
@inertia4 (28218)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Well there is supposed to be equality but in my case it was or seemed to be one sided. Life threw me a curve ball. Relationships are not an easy thing to handle, you have to ready willing and able to deal with it. Marriage should be the ultimate union of two people that are in love. But in the world we live in now it doe not matter anymore.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Life is not always the bed of roses that we are promised as a child. this is true of relationships too such as marriage. As much as it would be easy to say, there is not always the equality that should be in the union.
@MsTickle (25135)
• Australia
8 Apr 11
Sadly, i don't think there is. Basically, I believe that one partner is always more giving while the other takes. One person loves the other more and is less selfish. It is a rare thing to find the equality , that you speak of in a marriage, even if there is honour, respect and trust. Two people should equally want the best for their partner is how I see it.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
8 Apr 11
I agree that partners should want the best for each other. It should me what marriage is all about in the first. Asking for equality in the union is something to wish for but not always achieved.
• Philippines
7 Apr 11
i am married for more than a year now and i would say that equality doesn't just means being equal in household chores and things like that but it also mean being equal in respect, love and rust with each other. and in biblical sense, the husband should be the head of the family. so in my marriage, i see to it that whenever i make a decision, i would consult my husband about it. the last yes and no should be from him. our marriage is not perfect, there are flaws, there are problems we encounter especially that he works far from us, but every time we encounter it, one of us should either cool down and be silent and patient. on this we are equal, there are times when i am the one whose angry and there are also times when it's him who's not in the mood. we are praying that our marriage could really last and stand the test of times, coz we value our family as the greatest treasure we have on earth.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
7 Apr 11
Equality needs to be an emotion that we feel. it can't be something to see or to touch. How we feel about one another can prove the equality there is in a relationship.
@tlb0822 (1411)
• United States
6 Apr 11
I think that each partner needs to work at the marriage in order for it to work. If one person is trying to make it work and the other isn't then there is no way for the relationship to continue growing. All to often when people get married they forget that just because you're married doesn't mean that you know longer have to work at the relationship that is there. I think equality in a marriage is important. Each partner needs to bring something to the table whether it be providing for the family, or taking care of things at home. It is all about making life better for each other, so together you can have a great life.
@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Every relationship needs the room to grow. When we don't let that happen a relationship is unable to survive and crumbles apart.
6 Apr 11
well ive never been married yet but i hope that it will be an equal relationship. when i was with my ex it was not and he thought everything should be done for him as thats what his mum did. you will never believe that things he had me do so i wont go into it
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
I have had some prior experience with mom used to do for her son. When this is expected from a wife too equality seems to fly right out of the window. I still have special feelings for my mother-in-law but the way she did some things would often strike a nerve. it can seem silly, but not at the moment it is happening.
@surekharathi (14166)
• India
6 Apr 11
Yes friend equality is necessary in marriage but it is not possible in every cases. Because this is depend upon the communities rules and regulation if our community is not accept that wife should do the job then all community members accept this tradition whole life. Even if we are tried to change this then in some family accept this new idea but some like in town residential people not accept this.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Acceptance of others in the way we live can determine how we see equality. It is not something that can be measured or seen. It is only something to believe in.
@anil02 (22280)
• India
6 Apr 11
Yes I believe in the equality. After all your life partner is human. He/she have their own dreams, self respect, ego.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Thank you for your comments. Equality is filled of so many parts. it's when the part come together that equality can be achieved.
• China
6 Apr 11
of course but i think men should take more responsibility
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Thank you for sharing your opinion. It is very much appreciated.
@lingli_78 (12834)
• Australia
6 Apr 11
it really depends on your definition of equality... in every household, there always has to be a leader... just like in a company or a country... there has to be a leader to lead the household in the right direction... in this case, God had stated very clearly in the Bible that man is the head of the family and woman is the companion... but that doesn't mean that man can be a dictator... in fact, being a leader means man has to sacrifice just like God has sacrificed His life for us by dying on the cross... take care and have a nice day...
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Sometimes leaders take too much burden and control on to themselves. Not everyone should have to be a follower, especially in a relationship of two people.
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
i believe there is equality between husband and wife in some ways. but i also believe that sometimes, the husband should be in the position when it comes to bigger decision making when it comes to the family, but the wife can also suggest to her husband and the husband should listen to her wife's suggestion. when it comes to taking care of the house or the kids, of course, the wife is the one who is more responsible. so i think, both husband and wife has their own roles in the family in equal parts.
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@sender621 (14932)
• United States
6 Apr 11
The husband may not always know best. there are times the wife's choices should not be considered better either. the choices should be made together and they should stand up for each other.