Couponing via a Store member card and the internet....do you? Tell me!

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Grocery stores have member cards (free usually) and if you scan them with your purchase you get special sales and things like that. I use Ralphs for about 4 years now and get points for about $25 worth of free groceries every quarter from my purchases and bringing back bags. Not to shabby. My question is: The new thing in couponing is to have coupons put on your store card via online through the store and then when it is swipped...those coupons automatically give the coupon credit. At least that is the best I can figure it works. So...anyone do this can tell me better how it works? Plus..with no coupon in my hand, I have to write down the item to take with me...is that right? And how do I make sure that the store gives me the coupon credit...just put that stuff on the counter at the end and watch it individually and see what happens and hope I have the right item and if it doesn't coupon..tell them I don't want the item? Any experience tips and tricks with this kind of couponing would be appreciated! And I dont' do the cell phone kind....just this kind with the store card.