Would you consider to be your ex's listening ear?
By ann815
@ann815 (54)
Philippines
April 7, 2011 11:13am CST
A few weeks back an ex-boyfriend suddenly re-appeared in my life and started chatting me up again. He broke up with his girlfriend, lost his job and everything in his life seem to be going wrong.
At first it was okay to talk, but lately I feel that I am becoming more and more his emotional crutch and it's no fun anymore.
Any thoughts?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
12 Apr 11
ann, he has nothing better to do and he is making you his entertainment for dull hours... Tell him you are busy next time he calls.
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
That's the girl!
If that guy has more break-ups and lousy luck, he did put it upon himself. He is not on your level, and never will be. Look the other way and your prince might be looking...
@chickimmy (44)
• Philippines
7 Apr 11
i don't know if it's just me, but i actually would consider it. especially if i have already moved on. i don't really keep a grudge. i can easily forgive. if i'm already over him, then it's possible for me to be friends with him. but if and only if my current one approves of it. because i don't want him to be the cause of misunderstanding between my guy and me.
@soulist (2985)
• United States
2 May 11
I agree I dont hold grufges and am always willing to listen when anyone needs to talk. But also od have to make sure my boyfriend is okay with it. Hes the one who has presidence. I actually had an ex try telling his woes, but my current wasnt comfortable so I told him I was sorry for his troubles, but honestly my boyfriend wasnt comfortable and I needed to respect his wished.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
7 Apr 11
Hi. ann815. Welcome to myLot!
It is very nice that you are lending a helping ear. But personally, I truly believe that your ex boyfriend may still have feelings for you. With him venting, he is starting to grow an attachment to you. Any old and buried feelings may start to resurface. Don't be anyone's emotional crutch at all. You don't deserve to be strung along with someone that you have shared a romantic relationship. He has a motive and if you stick around to listen to him long enough, as he vents, you will discover just exactly what his motive is. I am sure it would not be about his hardships and life's issues that he is now dealing with.
It is very nice that you are lending a helping ear. But personally, I truly believe that your ex boyfriend may still have feelings for you. With him venting, he is starting to grow an attachment to you. Any old and buried feelings may start to resurface. Don't be anyone's emotional crutch at all. You don't deserve to be strung along with someone that you have shared a romantic relationship. He has a motive and if you stick around to listen to him long enough, as he vents, you will discover just exactly what his motive is. I am sure it would not be about his hardships and life's issues that he is now dealing with.@ann815 (54)
• Philippines
10 Apr 11
thanks cream97. it would have been fine if he really likes to just talk and have someone listen to his woes. but what happens is he becomes too needy. wanting to find out where i am, or what time im going home, etc. i have moved on and i am positive i no longer have romantic feelings for him. i was just trying to be a friend, but i dont want him to give him any ideas other than that. :) thanks for your thoughts. i will definitely be cautious when i speak to him. :)
