is there love when there is physical abuse involved?

Philippines
April 13, 2011 2:25am CST
my cousin always commits physical abuse towards his girlfriend whenever they have a fight. the weird thing is, his girlfriend still chooses to maintain their relationship. Last time, they had a fight, the girl caught the guy with a girl textm8 other than her and it started an argument. though caught in the act, the guy managed to depend himself by telling lies and alibis. the girl seemed to be so eager to make the guy tell the truth until their arguments led to violence. the guy hit the girl several times while yelling at her, "better leave or you'll die!".the girl decided to move away with her clothes reaped and her necklace ruined.How horrible!!!
4 people like this
13 responses
@katrinapaz (2438)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
I think that the girl is the loser in this relationshi. If I were here, I will wake up from y blindness and leave that guy. I dont want to be a punching bag forever and I would want to have a guy that loves me. I dont know if there is still love when there is physical abuse - i think there is none.
1 person likes this
@mandylee (267)
• China
13 Apr 11
The girl has left as soon as possible.The boy is bad tempered leading to violence,when encountered violence,girls always hurt!As you mention above ,the boy told lies when being found,that means he don't love that girl,but the girl is under the control of him .Love is mutual obligation
@jennyze (7045)
• Indonesia
13 Apr 11
It is possible to love someone and abuse her/ him. This kind of abusive behavior is not related to love. It is a kind of psychological illness and has to be treated rightly before someone can love better.
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
thank you for your response. i learned something valuable.God bless!!!
@jennyze (7045)
• Indonesia
13 Apr 11
I am not an expert here, but I do know that it is an illness and will get worse when he/she becomes a husband or wife.
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
yup, u are perfectly right...:-)
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
fireblaze, are you sure that's your cousin? that guy is your cousin? he's too bad! he doesn't deserve to be loved if he can't love others the right way. no one deserves to be treated that way, specially women. that's not love at all! he has to behave properly and control his anger for him not to do such an act. the girl loves him so much that it really hurts a lot. i wonder why men are like that, they are not contented on partners they have. it's not love when you are not loyal to them.
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
on second thought, as i have read the response of jennyze, i believe she was right. and there are really people who has psychological behaviors which causes them to hurt others. well, maybe i am one of them, that's what i think. so, maybe i am also like the guy in your story.too bad huh?
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
yes, he is the worst person i know....don't be like the guy...he's too bad.
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
4 May 11
I guess those people needs someone to talk to regarding their attitudes and thinking as well. for all they know, it can be of help with their own selves.
@lyamsitiy (104)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
That a so sad and alarming. In this situation i think its what others would say stupid love. That guy have issues, she should never hit anyone especially a lady. We have studied that at school and most often it will not get better. Abusing someone is a cycle, after that out burst the guy will feel guilty and will try to win the girl again then eventually the girl gives in then problem occurs again, they call it tension building phase then if emotions were not controlled then results to out burst again. I feel sorry for the girl. The guy should seek for professional help, enroll in anger management programs because he might end up beating that girl until it will cost her life.
@sid556 (30999)
• United States
13 Apr 11
Hi Fireblaze and welcome to Mylot! I think that in abusive relationships there is love but it isn't a healthy love at all. The abuser has anger issues and loses control. I think that afterwards he might genuinely feel bad and might honestly believe that it will never happen again. But it always does. The victim usually has low self esteem and many have been abused as children which would explain their tolerance for it. Some actually feel that they deserve the abuse. The situation you describe here sounds downright dangerous! Hopefully his girlfriend will stay away. No one deserves to be abused like that.
@keshia2007r (2885)
• United States
13 Apr 11
Good question. I do believe there is love in physical abuse. Even though abuse is involved, this can sometimes be a form of love. Not for the victim, but for the abuser. With that, the majority of the time, the abuser says "I hit you, because I love you" i've heard this a lot. I've never been physically abused, but i've seen cases as such. The abuser would also say "you make me hit you" In some strange way this is love. In my opinion. It clear that the abuser has either been abused, or witnessed it. Most cases are like this.
@aerous (13465)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
There is no love in that particular relationship, friend. Because if you love someone your not hurting him/her by all means. Love is caring, respect, understanding, faithful, honest, devoted and reasonable...
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Apr 11
I don't see how someone can say that they love and care for someone else when they are physially abusing them. where is that love in that kind of behavior. if you truly believe that your abuse is caring for someone, perhaps you need help in knowing what love is really all about.
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
God made a relationship with love so that couples could do right, share their care and affection to each other, therefore love made by God in order to have a good relationship and physical abuse are not part of that love which form by the ultimate God that's a against from us and form the will of our Lord God.
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
with this situation as an example, it's hard to believe that love exists in that kind of relationship. i think the degree of abuse here is just not normal.... well a little physical abuse is not exactly termed as "abuse", but you know, it's normal for two people to fight some times, but not to the extent that one hits the other so hard that he or she bleeds... anyway, the girl is probably subconsciously enjoying being abused so she always chooses to stay in the relationship despite the facts.
@jaiho2009 (38994)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
If the girl still choose to stay,it's her decision. I knew someone who is also physically and mentally abused but can not stay away from the situation and saying that she loves the guy. That's a big stupidity (opppsss..sorry...but i don't know what to say either) Those girls may find it love,why? Because they can't get away from the guy,or she is not mentally stable to leave the guy for many reasons. There is no use staying in a relationship with physical abused,and i don't consider it love anymore. Just my opinion. have a great day and welcome to mylot
@misc11 (384)
• United States
13 Apr 11
That doesn't sounds like a good situation. Maybe you could help your cousin out and be the person he needs.It sounds like going to some kind of counseling would be good for him to figure out why he/she does the things he/she does. There is a reason people use violence and have so much anger built up inside them. If he/she gets to the bottom of his/her issues, then the person can find a happy, healthy relationship and not put himself/herself and another person through this again.