Oh my word! Did he? I think he did! Yay!!!!

United States
April 18, 2011 10:42pm CST
I think my boyfriend's son pushed the final button and made my boyfriend realize just what kind of child he is raising. Lol. The poo hit the fan today as his son comes stomping in claiming that he he had a headache to get out of homework. My boyfriend told him that was fine, but he really wasn't going to get a candy bar if his head hurt because that would just make it worse. Next thing you know his son went screaming into his bed angry about it and my boyfriend just followed him in and picked him up and told him that he was NOT to go to bed until bedtime, that he would NOT be playing video games for the rest of the day, and that he most definitely WOULD be eating what everyone else was eating for dinner tonight. My jaw dropped. Seriously he was an actually parent about it and I was so pleased that he was finally taking a stand about his son doing the things a kid should be doing. I didn't feel that their was any unjust harshness in anything he said or did. He was simply putting his foot down. He did not cause any physical harm or anything... But, then his mom stepped in with her stuff. 'He's just a kid... you were like that when you were young... don't blame me if he ends up hating you.' And again he turned to her and let her know that his son is HIS son, and that this is something that NEEDS to be done to help him grow up into a decent man. I'm telling you, I have never been more proud of him than I was today. It made me realize that he is such a decent person and every day that he tells me he isn't a decent person it makes me realize those are the days that his mom makes him feel that way. No wonder he thinks I'm such a great girlfriend... I treat him like he is human and capable of making his own decisions in life. Today was both an eyeopening and beautiful day. Oh and that whole deal with me thinking he was cheating on me. Apparently it was his cousin. And this cousin sees nothing wrong with family/family dating. But, he does... so he hasn't reached the stage in his life yet of being able to cut off family like I'm doing. But that's okay. As long as we have an understanding...
2 people like this
8 responses
sid556
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Apr 11
Hi Dismalgrin, Well that's good that he stood up for himself and put his foot down to his son. Kids really do need firm discipline. His mother's interference is something he really needs to ignore. Kids will sometimes seem like they hate you while you are disciplining them but in the long run, they will respect you for it and certainly not "hate" you. Kids that aren't taught how to be decent human beings are the ones that grow up feeling that their parents didn't care. I hope he keeps up with the discipline. Kids also need consistancy.
1 person likes this
sid556
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Jul 11
The kid needs to know that Gramma may not be in her right mind and to not listen to her about things like this.
mansha
@mansha (6298)
• India
19 Apr 11
I just read a few of your discussions and I think though he is a decent man but he is a way out of your league because eventually his behavior will not change and mother does play a strong role in the household. Take it from someone who has a same kind of interfering inlaws , things will never improve and it will be too late one day when you will realize this too. I think listen to your guts and do not proceed in to this relationship further than you have to.Do yourself a favor, its an advice from someone who has already been burnt.
1 person likes this
dismalgrin
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
11 Jul 11
It might sound horrible to say this, but the reason that I stay... aside from the fact that I love him with all of my heart... is that his mother's health is failing. Very much so. I don't wish harm on her at all, but I recognize that she doesn't have long on earth and we have been through so much together it seems a shame to walk away from a relationship that we both want for someone's wishes that isn't going to be around much longer anyway. Why should she feel the need to try to destroy his happiness when she isn't the one that must live with it?
frontvisions101
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Seems to me you have a lot of beef with his son or something. Yeah, brats can be annoying and the son deserved to be punished like that. Although your boyfriend should realize that he'll be doing it for a long time. From what I understand, parenting is for life and seems he just started just then.
dismalgrin
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
19 Apr 11
Well, I have posted some about my boyfriend and his weird relationship with his son in the past on here. For the most part I think his mom guilt trips him into going easy on his son though. So this might be the beginning of a beautiful thing... or it could just be a one time deal. Until the whole deal of having a mother that undermines his authority is out of his life.
frontvisions101
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Well, it's bound to happen anyway. Everyone has their own limits on handling irritation.
MarappleStiffy
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
that's good! children, needs discipline and the kind he gave was right, for I really believe that you won't go anywhere if you physically punish the child... and it's a good thing that your doubts were unfounded! Happy MyLotting!
dismalgrin
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
19 Apr 11
I totally agree with you. Just the other day his son pushed me out of his way 4 times in one day. I was so mad, but I didn't say anything until my boyfriend pulled it out of me. Then he told me that if that ever happens again I have a right to tell him that will not be accepted by me. What a relief! So today his son pushed me and told me to 'MOVE' really rudely and I stopped and looked at him and said 'Hey, that's not nice!' and even though he got smart alec with me and said 'Yes it is' at least I made headway with standing up against that behavior.
lexirose7350
@lexirose7350 (459)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Kids are kids but they still need to be disciplined and act with respect to older people especially with their parents.They say grandparents are the spoilers but your bf is right, he is the parent -and he needs to act as the parent of his son without the need of hurting him physically.
1 person likes this
sashakiddo
@sashakiddo (1102)
• United States
19 Apr 11
I'm so happy for you! Patience really paid off. This is really inspiring for people in the same situation. In the end your love lasts because you have faith in your partner. Of course, challenges always arise, there is never a happily ever after because life is an eternal struggle. You have pulled through and it makes you that much stronger and ready to face any thing else that comes your way.
1 person likes this
dismalgrin
@dismalgrin (2604)
• United States
11 Jul 11
I never have had delusions of a 'happily ever after' relationship in my life. Though I do desire to get married someday, I'm well aware that it will be something that takes a lot of hard work to keep it going. Nowadays I think my boyfriend is really appreciating all that I have put up with to stay with him. And he is being very vocal about his appreciation. Lol
frontvisions101
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Seems to me you have a lot of beef with his son or something. Yeah, brats can be annoying and the son deserved to be punished like that. Although your boyfriend should realize that he'll be doing it for a long time. From what I understand, parenting is for life and seems he just started just then.
frontvisions101
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
19 Apr 11
Seems to me you have a lot of beef with his son or something. Yeah, brats can be annoying and the son deserved to be punished like that. Although your boyfriend should realize that he'll be doing it for a long time. From what I understand, parenting is for life and seems he just started just then.