Scared of my mother-in-law!

Hi Chocokreme, Welcome to Mylot! Ouch...that's a tough one. What was she saying? Have you told your husband what you heard? I'm sorry but I would have a hard time respecting her. She was talking dirt about you behind your back and your her son's wife! I think I would have to talk to her and tell her that I overheard her. I think the only way to clear the air with someone on something like this would be to talk to the person. It could be that she was simply upset with you about something and venting. It might not reflect how she always feels.

Do not to plant hatred inside you heart. No matter what happens she's still your husbands mother. Just ignore what she said and try to be a good person if not a good daughter-in-law.

I used to be scared of my mother in law too. She in fact used to grab my arm unseen by anyone and pull at it so hard that I used to feel it will break. She was too dominating and criticizing on face, her comments were downright insulting and no one bothered my husband just laughed it off saying. I am being unjust because I am from different culture. I tolerated this nonsense for fifteen years trying o win her back but then after she really went all the way, in a sense she pushed me to the wall, I just broke loose. I just stopped speaking to her, taking her phone calls and this trend continued for two years meanwhile she also got to assess her situation, if I pull back from her. Finally now I no longer speak to her much just keep my polite distance and wont let her touch me in demeaning ways. I don't go over for night stays just a visit now and then. My attitude is I am good enough person to forgive you but not stupid enough to trust you.

Hi. chocokreme. Welcome to myLot! I know exactly how you have been feeling. I am the queen when it comes to having mother-in-law issues. If I could tell you just how many times my mil was very cruel and nasty to me, I could write a 120 page book on everything that she has said and done to me. I felt very frightened of her and what she could do to me. I became powerless under her whim. I was like a baby mouse trying to run from her when she comes near me. She used to treat me so bad when I used to live in a house with her. I stayed there with my in laws for five years, even when me and my husband was married too! It was very difficult, so difficult. Everyday, I longed for my husband to move us out and into our own place. I did not care if it was a one bedroom apartment that was tightly closed up with not much space. I just wanted to get out of her house staying with her! This was when I had my first child and then my second child. The last time that I have stayed with my mother-in-law was in, 2009. I have been in my own place for almost two years now. And believe me, it has been nothing but wonderful being away from her, I tell you. I talked to her on the phone during Saturday of last week. And she was so happy to talk to me. She wants me to call her. She gave me her cell phone number. She is really trying to touch basis with me. I just won't ever let her get that close to me, no matter how nice she is to me. I have forgiven her for all of the things that she has put me through, but I will never forget how she has treated me for many years. She made sure that many of the evil things that she has done to me, was done when no one else was looking. It was just me and her around in the house. That is how I know that she knew darn well of what she was doing. She has denied it so many times. But it is very obvious that she was purposely trying to make me feel bad. She ridiculed me in every possible way. She made me feel very ugly. She hurt my feelings, over and over again. She tried to embarrass me in front of others, but she never seem to ever succeed. She has even tried to make me very jealous of her oldest daughter, by how long her hair was, compared to my long hair. My mil has even made fun of my kids hair and their shoes. Now, what kind of mother-in-law does this to her own grand kids? My own grandmother would never mistreat her grand kids, she loves them just the way that they are. No matter how good they look or don't look! My mil has did me so wrong. I have even cried in the bed at night because I wanted her acceptance of me so badly. But this woman is very ugly. She has gray hair all over her head and she is not even 60 yet. She has had gray hair since she was in her 50's. She will be 60 this October. She treated me like I was ugly, but in reality she was the one that was actually ugly. On the inside and the outside. I have told her off so many of times until it isn't funny. But what I never did, was treat her as bad as she has treated me. I gave it all to God and I allowed him to be the one to make her suffer, if it was in his will. Don't fight with your mother-in-law, just pray and give it all to God. And I promise you that she will never be able to harm you. She may hurt you by her looking at you funny in a certain way, she may make fun of you, she may belittle you, she may insult you, she may make rude comments to you just to see what you will say, she may ask you nosy questions that is none of her business, she may watch you and keep an strict eye on you, she may make you feel as if you have done something wrong, when you haven't. Don't let this bother you. I am a living witness on what my mil has done to me. Ignore her and let her be the last one that is standing. And be honest with her, don't sugar coat anything. Don't ever make yourself feel intimidated by her either. She cannot hurt you, only if you let her! I am telling you these things, because I had to endure many painful moments around my mil. I have gotten so strong so now whenever she steps out of line, I will not be scared to put her back on track! She can no longer scare me anymore, if anything, my strength scares her!

hi there, i'm sorry about this. it kind of like reminds me of my sister, but she's not married yet. the mother of her ex - boyfriend didn't like her too and would also talk trash about her. we really cant please everybody. i was also so scared of my boyfriend's mom before but when i met her, she is so sweet and very open - minded. she is very thoughtful and would sometimes even give me a lot of gifts. i hope that she never changes. and she is also very supportive of us, me and her son. my mom told us that that my grandma also didn't like her before and would also do the same as you mother-in-law, and i know that scars will always be there. just be strong and don't let those destroy you. just be yourself and focus on yourself, husband and family. words can't break us. just prove to them that you are not who they think you are. i hope everything gets better. good luck and blessings to you and your family. and by the way, welcome to mylot

hello, Sorry for that friend, Well, You really love your husband right? did you try to open it to your husband? It really annoying that one person don't like you and talks at your back it seems that it is very difficult and besides she is your mother in law she must accept what's her son loves to do. Yeah, for now avoid being with her because until now you still hurt from what you have heard let her notice that you have a problem to her. On the other side you can straight talk to your mother in law and say what you wanted to say. Okay? if what you think will make you feel better do it. good luck , I am hoping you can make it

no one has the right to treat you disrespectfully. you need to either talk to your husband and tell him to get your mil to lay off or stand up to her yourself. you need to deal with it.

It really happens in a family. I have heard many stories and real incidents about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. There is always some amount of friction between those two and it is not so easy to cope with one another. Just leave the problem and don't try to pacify the friction. Whatever you do , you can't erase those feelings. Take it for granted.

Its to bad to hear this and i'm not a fan of the "crazy mother-in-law" im just speaking in general. Not exactly about your mother-in-law. What I don't like is when someone of the family don't think he or she is not good enough for their relative. Well if the relative thinks otherwise, it really shouldn't be an opinion of anybody else. Your love-hate relationship with your mother-in-law is understandable. This happens so often. Try asking her why she does not like you, and see if the issue could be resolved from there. Other than that, I agree with you, its best not to be fake and act as if everything is ok. So if I was in this position i would avoid her as well.

i also experience like this during my two years of marriage. but just yesterday i settled it down. i was conducted a family meeting together my in-laws and of course with the presence of my husband. I asked them what are my mistakes that makes them trouble? we had and open type discussion until such time we meet into a good conversation. You know, all conflicts happening in dealing with in-laws is merely due to lack of communication that leads into misinterpretation. i suggest you to be coward to face everything. what ever you heard from your mother-in-law make it clarify those things to have you peace of mind and also to stop bad speculations of your in-laws against you. heart to heart talk is the key. if you can psdd this kind of conflicts, i can assure that all of you will be happy in every making moves Good luck Chocokreme have a peaceful day ahead! :-)

Hi there, Welcome to mylot. I am sorry to hear about your situation. Many old women can get rude at times. Specially with their daughter in law because they take an important position in their son's life. Many mothers want to have the love of their son to themselves only. These relationships are so tough to understand that all you can do is just ignore it. My dad taught me to just ignore things and just put smile on face when it comes to social relationships. But i have a great mom in law and i absolutely adore her. In your case, you should try to convince her but she seems to be a tough women, so better let go and avoid getting upset because of her. You don't have to bear her each and every day. Just try to ignore her rude words. Good Luck.

In-laws sure can be difficult sometimes, just remember you married your husband and not his family. I think you're right to avoid her. If I were you I would prove her wrong until she has no choice but to respect you.

you know instead of doing that, just prove yourself to her? Prove to her that you're deserving to be her son's wife. And in time she'll learn to accept you :)

Well have you had this discussion with your husband? I would talk with him and let him know how you feel. I dont have any problems with my in law, but my mom has issues with my sister in law. I know why my mom feels the way she does about her. Your best bet is to talk with her or even ask your husband if he really knows what the issue she has with you. good luck

For me we are they same situation always forget and forgive until such time you can do it by 5months and better to not joined in her in the house so that the pain you hurt you can vain in a months and a year.