How do you deal with an insecure boyfriend?

United States
April 21, 2011 3:50pm CST
I have been seeing my boyfriend for close to a year now. I love him and he's a great guy but he is insecure and emotionally needy. He's had bad experiences in the past with girlfriends cheating on him and I feel like he holds that against me. Don't get me wrong, I get that it's hard to trust people after you've been screwed over, but I'm getting a bit tired of feeling like I'm guilty until proven innocent. I don't hold my exes mistakes over his head... The most recent sign is him getting upset about me hanging out with a guy friend of mine. I RARElY hang out with anyone but him, and when I do he gets awkward about it. I'm just wondering take on this all you ladies out there have. Thanks! *L*
5 responses
@Frederick42 (2019)
• Canada
27 Apr 13
If you love him truly, then your presence itself can deal with his insecurity. A warm hug and a sweet smile are often more than enough to be a medicine for insecurity. But many times , It also happens that we ourselves are insecure and we try to heal somebody else’s insecurity. If we ourselves are insecure, then it is not possible for us to help another insecure person.
@simonelee (2716)
• China
15 May 12
There is no really a solution in dealing with people who feel less for them self. What you can do for now is to give him an assurance and let him feel how much you care and love him. Most of the time when you actually do and said everything just to let him feel good is not enough, insecurities always there followed by arguments. So, just extend your patients.
@_sketch_ (5709)
• United States
22 Apr 11
I deal with an insecure boyfriend by dumping them. Relationships neither should be nor have to be all drama. I've been in relationships with "insecure" guys before and really they were just jealous control freaks. They may think that having been in bad relationships before is a good, reasonable excuse for their behavior, but I do not. When the only constants in those horrible relationships are women and him, then it's probably a good idea to consider the possibility that it isn't women who are the problem, and if he's claiming that it is, then why assume that you aren't going to be added to that list of "promiscuous" women, which is the type of words that I would watch out for. Then again, maybe not. Do what you want, but make sure that you are really doing what you want. Good luck. Namaste. :)
@elaidha (95)
• Philippines
21 Apr 11
An insecure person is terrible to live with, especially a person with a lot of excess baggage, and would be apt to be a big problem if he persists in being that way. Why not have a deep, deep, discussion with him and tell him where the two of you stand? Tell him you can be trusted, that you love him truly, etc. Cheers!
• United States
21 Apr 11
Insecure people are very hard to deal with. The best that you could do for your boyfriend is, keep on expressing your love to him. Spend as much time as possible with him and often tell him how much you love him. Keep in mind that insecurity is a issue that requires healing. Boyfriend will have to eventually face the past issues and deal with them. Make sure you don't lower your standards in the process of maintaining your relationship. You deserve the best no matter what the situation is!!!!