why can't we love freely?

Ah yes, and the first post of my greatest friend has to do with love. I have to say that this is one topic that I woul never have expected from you. Going to the topic now, I think your parents will not disown you. However, if you think about it, when you get married someday and have a job, you really will have to stop being dependent on your parents. This means that it wouldn't matter if they like your husband or not. By the time you find someone that you love, you'll love him for all the reasons regardless of whether or not he has money. Your family and all the more your parents, are the people who would never refuse to have you whatever happens.

I don't see the point of marrying someone for financial stability. Though yes it is really practical for one to find a spouse with such stature. But it should not be the sole defining characteristic one should be looking for. In fact, one shouldn't really be looking at all. Call me a romantic, but one should not be chained to these sorts of ideals when it comes to love. If you want to love, then do so and do it with complete conviction and with no more influence than yours... I wish you all the luck man! Me and Ohsodianne will always back you up! :D

Well it really depends on your culture. Where I live, women are free to support themselves, but in many countries it is frowned upon if the woman does not stay home with the kids whilst the man goes out to work. Your mom probably just wants you to have the most secure kind of relationship, because if you do have children in the future and want to be a stay at home mom, you will need to have a husband with a good enough job to support the entire family. Dont feel too badly against your mom, she is just looking out for you. Theres nothing to say you cant find a good man, with all those amazing qualities to make your heart soar, and for him to be a hard worker too. Any good man would do all he could to support you and your family anyway.

I know it's practical, I guess most parents do the same. Somehow at their age they were able to see life clearly and based on their experience they could say that financial stability is important. Or at least the capacity to earn is really important. They want to point out to us that it's difficult to enter into a new challenge and status in life unprepared. I too have the same words from my parents and elder siblings. But I pointed out to them, "I will not marry so soon, if that's what you're worrying" and furthered "as to who I'm gonna marry, there's no particular course, job, or profession, I want to marry a person I love not the person I who I think could supply my needs" Yet they were all insistent. Still I stand firm that I would decide later on to marry someone I love. Because marriage goes beyond financial support and needs, it includes but transcends material needs. Don't worry much. When God's ONE for you comes, nothing will come in your way to prevent your marriage. Stay prayerful, faithful and hopeful for your God's Best it will surely come. And it will not be delayed even a single day. friends, chuyins

because at this time (where money really makes the world go round) we have to be practical. we have to think about all aspects many times. but that doesn't mean we can't marry the one we love. if you fall in love with someone who's not a professional, well perhaps at least he should be good in life. not too picky in jobs, very working hard, and stuffs like that. you're not born to search this world for the most perfect professional man who will pass through your parents' demand and rules, but to simply make a good decision when it comes to marrying, and a fair one as well. :)

This is my personal experience, whose parents who won't have their kids have a happy and stable married life. When I was younger thats what I wanted to married, a guy whose a college graduate, come from a decent family with good upbringing. Looks does count but just a plus points. I have set that kind of standard for myself and my parents do like that. That standard I believe makes it hard for me to find the man of my dreams, my knight in shining armor. I had my very first boyfriend when I was 28 years old. Believe it or not, he is not what I wanted. His a High School graduate, a minimum wage earner (I earn bigger than him), in his family only one finishes college, none of his parents have a decent job. his not that much of a looker but he is very kind, loving, and very understanding. At first I know without them (my parents)telling me they didn't approve him. They did strive hard for me to finish a degree and then I will only be involve with a guy who haven't reach a college degree. I know its tough for them to accept it, even my officemate and friends disapprove him. But you know what, we've been together for 5 years now and planning to tie a knot very soon. The answer to your question, we can love anyone we fell in love with. One of God's gift to us if FREE WILL. Your parents will not disown you just because you fall in love with a man who didn't pass their standard. They will never hate you, because you are their daughter. Maybe at first they will be disappointed in you but when they saw you that your happy with that guy, I think they will accept him one way or the other. Just show them that what you have a very genuine and real love. There should always have limitations loving someone, first and foremost, love yourself more. Thats the only limitation that I follows. Hope I have answered your question, love your life =)

I guess it's a cultural thing, but, I couldn't care less what anybody thinks about my choice of mate. If they love you as their daughter, they should support you in whatever decision you make. It's your life, and your decisions to make, right or wrong. I can't imagine being with someone because others say it's the right thing to do. Life is too short not to be happy, and to be with the person who you believe is your soul mate.

this maybe is a cultural thing but normally, it should not be that way. it is normal for parents to wish all the good things for their children although some wish for themselves not their children.

hello mary, Mother just want their child to have a better future if you marry someone who cannot feed you well how can you have a better future? but of course at the end you should still follow what your heart says material things are just for awhile but loving someone can be forever. happy mylotting

I also asked that questions. Why can we not love freely. Why there is always some people close to us who will tell us to marry practically even if we do not love the person much. Are we marrying because of money? and not marrying because we love the person?

I think every parent hopes their daughter's to marry successful men but in reality a person can't put a price tag on love. Love comes from within the heart not the wallet. I much rather be happy and poor than miserable and rich. i be nice to be happy, in love and have money but in reality one can't always have it all. if your parents truly love you they will accept your decision who you want to marry whether their a professional or a blue collar worker.

My mom is the same.. I don't know maybe they just want us to have a comfortable, secured and stable life in the future when we get married.