Have you ever felt you don't belong.. anywhere?
May 5, 2011 8:02am CST
have you ever felt you don't belong.. anywhere? i don't know where to start or how to even say this online.. and maybe it's a bad idea to post it on full blast over the internet. but i really feel that i don't belong anywhere right now.. just had a fight with my parents and all my life i have always been the misunderstood one.. i feel like everything that i do is wrong.. i try so hard to please them but nothing seems enough.. i get good grades, i actually am in the dean's list.. i do my chores.. all my responsibilities are taken care of.. but everytime something i do that does not level up to their standards, i get in trouble.. why is that? i know i'm not as perfect as my mom when she was my age.. but this is me.. this is who i am.. it's just so sad to think that they can't accept me for what i am.. that i am not my mom.. i don't want to sound disrespectful to my parents and believe me, i love them with all my heart, and i don't know if i'm asking for too much.. but it would be really nice if once in a while i get appreciation from the people whom i look up the most..
1 person likes this
7 May 11
To be honest, I always encounter this feeling too many times in my life to count. More often than not, I feel this when I'm depressed or when somebody delights in highlighting my bad points, thinking there's a person who gets hurt but doesn't look like it. This feeling sometimes is accompanied by the wondering thoughts of 'what if I was like this' or 'if this happened and not this...' and so on. You practically lived my life story. I give everything I can but it's never enough. I try to understand but I always don't get it. You go with the flow but it's not your flow. Many times you're just on the wrong side of things. And no matter how many chocolates you eat, you don't feel better. Most likely, you don't feel anything at all. I guess people like me or us just want to get along. We try becuase at the end of the day we love the people around us. But sometimes, in our perspective, they give more hurt than love. It may be their definitive of discipline or whatever but it's a petty excuse for being a disciplinarian, let alone a person who says that they love the person they are hurting. There was one time when I got fed and chose to leave without telling a single soul. I went to the town proper to kill time and kept rehearsing what will I say to my friend when I show up on his doorstep with a bag of clothes. I lied to his face but I think he knows that I lied. After some time, my father (who I never knew came home in the night) called and asked me where I am. I told him where I was but I made up an excuse on why I suddenly left on the wee hours of the morning. After an awkward conversation, I went home. Sometimes, I feel sorry that I did. I don't hope to measure up anymore. Nowadays, I'm numb. I release my feelings and I go on for another day. I don't really know if they appreciate me at all but if it comes to worst, I know that I can always leave.
• Slovak Republic
6 May 11
I often feel the same way. I too am a good student and a responsible persona, but my parents always find something that simply is not enough for them. I often felt i dont belong anywhere since i was not much appreciated by my friends either since i would not hand out with them and drink in pubs. Its not my style. But over time i found my ways. I got used to ignoring some of the remarks and reminded my parents that there are far worse children than i am. At times now, they show respect towards me.
6 May 11
You belong to yourself...you have mind to control what you feel,what you do and what you not like to do.as you love your family I am so sure they love you too and may be more than you do,if I was you I ll sit and think slowly about all thing what the matter and why have to fight,and how to get the matter done or back to normal if you think you do your best and you think you were the right one so no need to bother any one else trust yourself and be happy in your own,,,you have mind control,,,to be what you want to be,take it easy as long as you try to be the best and as long as you love them nothing will going wrong....best for you
• United States
5 May 11
Just remember noone is perfect its impossible.It sounds like your parents expect alot from you.they sounds like perfectionists but anyay I would ask them what do they expect from you.You sound like a great kid,er or adult just dont beat yourself up. :) (i would love to have you for a kid if i had kids heheh) you can also talk to you parents about this..and tell them some of your feelings.sometimes talkin about it makes you feel a tad better.its clique but true. Back to your question I felt that way from the age 12-18 I'm 20 now and i still sometimes feel that i dont belong.So i think of my friends and all the people who like me for who i am and it makes me feel better.
5 May 11
That is so frustrating. Sometimes parents are not always right. They should learn that being a parent is not about dictating what the child should do. Parents should not expect too much from their kids because it would only torture them and give them a lot of stress. What I do whenever my mother starts her very long and irritating sermon, I just ignore her and making some self-talk telling myself that I'm not going to get angry with my mom. I just let her do the talking whatever bad words she wants to say to me, and after that she's back to a loving and caring mom again. Things would go wrong when you talk back.
6 May 11
After reasoning with my parents about a |Y| category in we don't side with another I would think that your parents are being what they are = parents , maybe a little on the hard side , I probably guessed that my parents were close minded people and just grasp on beliefs in society and such. The parents you have really are playing that role and need to relax and not take it seriously.. I wish my parents were just friends instead.
5 May 11
actually.. yes, i have. sometimes whenever you try to be with friends, you somehow still feel that you do not belong, that there is still something lacking.. and that no matter how you try there will still be issues, issues left unsaid, that is like being shot at you silently... and well even at home sometimes i feel why do i feel i still need to do something more... why does it feel like they go along and i do not fit it... that i should always work hard for it...
5 May 11
I can't say that I have been in your position because my parents have never been very hard on me. However from reading your discussion, I have to say that it just sounds like your parents are being hard on you because they want the best for you. I would try talking to them (like an adult) about how you are feeling. Let them know that you love and respect them but that if they care about you, they have to change the way that they treat you. Let them know that you work your hardest and that you don't think that they are treating you fairly. It might not work, but then again, it might, so what have you got to lose? I hope that everything works out for you, happy mylotting.
5 May 11
It can be quite frustrating not getting appreciation from parents and you seem to be doing everything the right way from your point of view. There is a way out of this which is to do your best and expect no appreciation. It will take you time to come to this state but believe me when you realise that it is best to expect nothing you will be at peace. Try and see if this is possible.
5 May 11
It's good that you are doing well in studies and all. I guess your parents were expecting that you should do things maturely, and if you did not live up to their expectations, they'll get mad. It's really difficult, yes. It's also hard to figure out the solution to the problem because it's broad. So many people are also experiencing this. Even me, I have hard times with my parents and they expect me to be more wise to do things. I can only enjoy my life whenever they're not around. True. But I learned something more valuable than that. My parents scold me because they are looking at their mistakes in me, the trait that they see in me was their mistakes in the past. I guess we just have to follow what they say. However, still being just the way you are.
5 May 11
I have felt that way a lot of times, especially during my depression stage a few years ago. I felt like an outsider in the company of the people I called my friends and I felt like my parents didn't understand me and did nothing but put pressure on me. I don't think it's such a bad idea to post stuff like this online because with the millions of people in the internet, chances are some of them have felt the way are currently feeling and can give you good advice. As for your parents, might I ask if you had a good talk with them lately? A nice, long heartfelt talk. I know it's scary, and you might end up crying. I usually do when I talk about sensitive stuff with my mom. However, by the end of the talk, you'll feel better and they would at least know how you feel. If you can't talk to them, you can write them a letter and pour out all your hard feelings into it. And don't forget to give it to them. Parents, being parents, sometimes don't know just how much pressure they put on their children. By the end of the day, they just want the best for you. They want you to be able to stand on your own two feet and succeed in life. This feeling will pass, believe me. Good luck and I hope for the best for you.
5 May 11
You know iamsarahdell, there really comes a point in a man's life where he really feels all alone, he feels rejected and unaccepted. I think that wound that is within you comes from the fact that you strive to please other people, to please your parents. Life isn't all about pleasing your parents. Read the Bible and find you purpose in life. I know this may sound corny to you, but honestly, when you read it, you'll learn more about the love of God, that His love is more than sufficient and more than enough to fill you up--the emptiness in your heart. God bless you.