Which would you prefer....
By happycaprice
@happycaprice (403)
Philippines
May 7, 2011 9:02pm CST
To be with someone who loves you more than you love them, or the one you love more than he/she loves you?
I am just curious, which would you prefer? Because I prefer the latter, but my friends prefer the former. Which would you pick, and why?
Good day myLotters! :)
2 people like this
9 responses
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 May 11
Hi Caprice the Happy 
For me, I will always prefer to be with one who loves me... A simple reason - The pain to get me start loving him/her will be on him/her and not me and yes, being senisitive as I am I am sure, it will be easier for him/her to win my love sooner that it might happen the other way
For me, I will always prefer to be with one who loves me... A simple reason - The pain to get me start loving him/her will be on him/her and not me and yes, being senisitive as I am I am sure, it will be easier for him/her to win my love sooner that it might happen the other way1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 May 11
Oh thanks. But let me tell you one thing - though not a secret any more - I fell in love with this lady the first time I saw her in a saree(saree is an Indian dress) and today she is my beloved wife... But yes, she had that soft corner for me since we met (she told me this later after our marriage in 2007)
1 person likes this
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
9 May 11
O so you fell in love at first sight! That's so sweet! Thanks for sharing this! :)
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
8 May 11
hello thesids! :D
I can understand you. If he/she loved you first then it's him/her who will be risking the pain. I see now, and I'm glad that you're the type of person who can be won over easily. :P
Thanks for responding!
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
11 May 11
If I really have to choose between the two, I'd choose the same choice that your friends made.
Call it selfish, but as emotions are fleeting as time passes, it would be better if the one that you are with has more affection for you than you would have for them. That way, you'd be sure that they still be with you and so on with the things that people might fail to suffice as that loving feeling wanes down. However, when love weakens or it is not as strong as it were in the beginning of a relationship, respect would be developed in the long run which grants loyalty in most cases.
But is there really a way to determine if your partner loves you more than you do? I guess they'd just be competitive with each other in showing that they love their partner more than their partners love them. Then again, that'll just be a contest wherein love is just a medium to show off. (^_^")
If I love my partner more but she just feels that she just doesn't love me anymore, I guess if I really do love her that much, I'd accept how she feels and let her be happy with whoever it is that can make her happy. Sacrifice is the greatest form of love, as they say..
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
14 May 11
@ratyz -- It may not be totally selfish, after all, it's not like you are using the person. The discussion was whether or not you prefer someone who loves you more, so there is a degree of love.
Perhaps I should not have asked that in the discussion. Love really can't be measured. I was wondering more on whether you prefer to give more to the relationship or less...which I think would be a different topic, after all!
@rayann -- Indeed, a relationship wherein each party gives selflessly to the other is one relationship to envy, and one I would love to have.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
17 May 11
rayann, one which is selfless and divine? Perhaps you're talking about God Almighty since you usually use [i]divine[/I] to describe something that is provided by or relates to a god or goddess.
Unfortunately, there are cases were in one truly loves their partner that they would even put their lives at stake for them and get to prove it in that tragic way.
We are all looking for someone who we could received all our love and respect with open arms. Some of us are lucky enough to find their compatible partners while most of us aren't. I do agree on the last part, that when we do find our partners that you really do get attuned with and be with them as well, that's a wonderful feeling. (^_^ )
happycaprice, yeah, it's not totally selfish at all. We all just want someone to be with and be comfortable with. And when two people do find themselves compatible with each other, it's obvious that it's not commensalism.
Indeed, a degree of love coming from whoever we prefer and the degree of love from the one who, if able, can choose between the available choices. Yeah, that would be a different topic altogether. (^_^")
@lou_is (665)
• India
20 May 11
I believe that who loves you more than you love them because somewhere or somehow you may get angry on your loved once on that time if they won't love you that much then there might be a chance of without any reason they will leave you but in this situation it won't happen and they will take care of you throughout your life and there life too. They will understand each and every situation of your life and they will act according to that. If they won't love us more then there might be a chance of fight each other each and every day.
1 person likes this
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
20 May 11
hmmmn, basing on my experience on this matter I would say not to choose between the two...
Well, I used to be so in love with someone who I think might loved me in his own way but just doesn't love me the way I needed to be loved, it got exhausting in the long run, being the one who gives more....
So, when I got over it, I decided from that experience to look for someone who loved me more, so that I could safely guard my heart from terrible pain...I did find him, but when you choose a person to be your partner not because you love them but because they love you and is very dependable, you might just hurt that person when the person you really fundamentally love comes along or in my case when I realized I love my friend...
It was rather messy, I didn't want my ex to get hurt since he was such a nice person but I was miserable knowing that I might end up cheating on him in the long run, thankfully it all was settled...
Now, I can say
that if you think you love the person more than they love you, your just infatuated, if they love you more than you love them, your just being selfish...but if both of you have the same mutual respect, understanding, trust and caring...then, you are really in love...
that if you think you love the person more than they love you, your just infatuated, if they love you more than you love them, your just being selfish...but if both of you have the same mutual respect, understanding, trust and caring...then, you are really in love... @happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
21 May 11
*sigh* I can understand what you've been through. it's really hard, isn't it? looking for that one person who's just right for you.
for me, loving the person more is like an unrequited love, but I would rather choose to be hurt myself than to hurt another person. And that will surely happen if I choose the person who loves me more.
@dellahappy (260)
• China
14 May 11
the formor one for me,if you also have good feelings on him .it's so romantic that he views you as his life ,love and care you like pearl on the palm of the hand.i believe the stone heart can be melt and if you love him less than he love you,as long as you still love him and will not change heart to others and harm him,i think your together will be very happy and everlasting.instead if you change the latter,it's always that you get hurt,coz maybe he distracts by other charming girls and not be serious on your relationship when he wants to expeirence stimulation,he will ignore your feeling somtimes.it will be him who takes control but not you...
1 person likes this
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
22 May 11
thanks! so far, you've been the one with a same answer as mine! ;D
@rameshchow (4426)
• India
8 May 11
I prefer who loves me.
Because i need support.
I can give support, but they can not change(who i am loving).
So i give full importance to who are loving me, they are loving me because they love my work also.
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
8 May 11
I can see why you would choose that. Thanks for responding! :)
@chinchoy (191)
• Hong Kong
8 May 11
I guess it all depends what you are expecting to get from a relationship, to give or to take from it. As a matter of fact, how are you going to determine who loves the other one more? Like, for example, you must be there when I need you but leave me alone when I want to?
Some people tend to be more loving and caring and they prefer to love more. Yet some are more self-centered (selfish?) and they prefer to be loved more. I think, the best is of course love and be loved equally, but then the world does not work this way, it is just utopia.
@happycaprice (403)
• Philippines
8 May 11
I know love can't be "measured". But there will be times when you feel you are giving more in the relationship than the other person.
It would be good to find someone you could share your life with, someone who complements you, but in most cases, it doesn't happen. I suppose sacrifices are necessary to keep a relationship going.
But you haven't really answered my question, which do you prefer? :)
