A question that I couldn't answer...
By Toni
@toniganzon (77248)
Philippines
May 9, 2011 6:48pm CST
Friends, both online and offline, as well as my students told me that I have the skill of comforting people and listening to them. They just feel so comfortable that they can tell me anything including their secrets and problems. Even 47-year old woman seeks for my advice which made me a little uncomfortable though.
Now yesterday, a male friend of mine talked to me and told me everything about a woman she got attracted to online. At first when he met her, it was just a physical attraction. The more he get to know her brain, the more her liking for her increased. They used to talk for about an hour but as the day goes by they talk longer and longer. Now he's telling me he just couldn't get her out of her system. She's the first person she thinks about in the morning and all day till night time. He gets distracted in his job when she sends her a message but he feels more than happy to that.
And here's the question he threw at me: I don't believe that love could ever exist online, but I just like her so much and I have never felt like this before to any stranger, I'm scared how much I would miss her if i quit talking to her, what do you call this?
I couldn't say anything at that time, they've known each other for two months or less and I couldn't say he has fallen in love, but has he? What do you think
1 person likes this
8 responses
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
10 May 11
Ask him to exchange photographs. Men tend to be superficial and looks depend alot on how they feel about the girl. There is a risk of her sending a fake one but if she sends a real one and he is okay with that, I think it is worth of him to pursue the relationship.
@toniganzon (77248)
• Philippines
10 May 11
Oh no, they have seen each other in skype so that's more than just a picture. He's not superficial as he admitted that he got more hooked to her because of her brain.
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
10 May 11
Ooo that is so romantic...
I saw on TV about this girl who has real skin problem that makes she look like a monster yet she manages to find a guy who likes her despite of her condition. I think this is what love should be.
@Bernard9 (56)
•
11 May 11
I believe he has fallen in love....the problem is that writing can be more open on line than if it was face to face so conversations can become more intimate. Aperson can resonate with you and it can make life really difficult. I mean things are said online that sometimes we would not nirmally say to anyone because we are removed one step from reality.
Meeting in person might not be such a fine thing.
Your friend needs to be careful. I feel that he should at least meet the other person first. that is difficult as well because it needs to be on neutral ground. with a friend close at hand just incase things are not right.
@toniganzon (77248)
• Philippines
11 May 11
I agree on meeting on neutral grounds, though he's the man and he might be more dangerous than her, we can never tell.
@smashville14 (278)
• Philippines
10 May 11
hi toni...
I would say that's probably just an infatuation (maybe even lust coated with love...just maybe). My concern is If your friend really feels that he's in love with the girl then did he started the courtship already?? and of course, the very important one is... does the girl feels the same way too, because the girl could just be super nice to him that he unknowingly misinterpreted her gesture of friendship you know. We can never really know.
@toniganzon (77248)
• Philippines
10 May 11
I think the girl is interested in him too but just too shy to admit. I think they both like each other a lot because she would talk to him all day. If I were a girl i would never talk to anybody online all day unless i like him. But I'm not sure if the girl loves him at all as he told me that the girl is pretty much like him (doesn't believe in cyber love).
@mrgpk63 (444)
• United States
10 May 11
It can be Love but You can't Tell until Two People Meet and Spend some much Needed Time. As She needs to Feel the same Way. Love can Exist Anywhere even On Line as it Reality even though it is done Electronically through Wires on the Computer. But it
can be Infatuation to. Only Time will Tell and Money if they ever Decide to Meet. But He can be in for a Possible Achy Breaky Heart. So He needs to be Careful and Understand sometimes Things don't Work Out as Expected in Life. Not to Set His Hope so High on a Person He Never Met.
@sabhari05 (263)
• India
10 May 11
I feel you could advise him to not to talk to her for 10 days and ask him do you feel so much for not talking with her and if he says yes it is love and if he says no it is friendship.
@toniganzon (77248)
• Philippines
11 May 11
I already advised him to do that but guess what he told me? He can't even stand not talking to her even just for a few minutes. He doesn't really believe that he can fall in love with a stranger online but he really considers her as a very special person to him and he told me he even gets jealous thinking she's dating somebody else. Wow, that really blew my mind when he told me that.
@piokalan96 (1)
• Sri Lanka
10 May 11
the best thing for him to do is search about her. he must find wether she is married or not? and as it is an online love he has to careful. if he havent expressed his love to her then he better give it up and cone to reality.loving is not an easy job. specially online. tell him to find more about her. and if there in the same country it wnould be easy for hi. so tell him to make the choice crefully and tall him to take time to understand the matter.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
10 May 11
Hi toniganzon: First, congratulations for this amazing talent. I would tell him that this is not love, he is just obsessed with this girl. He should try to know her better and maybe after a couple of weeks he'll be able to understand his feelings and eventually fell in love but for now, try to not to think about her all the time, live his life and talk to her a little bit more to be sure if his feelings will last or if it's just a crush.
ALVARO
@SIMPLYD (90717)
• Philippines
10 May 11
What your friend feels is just a nice feeling of being lavished with attention by somebody. It could only be confirmed as truly true and mutual , when they will finally see each other in person.
