Not close to my a parent?

United States
May 11, 2011 12:53pm CST
I am very close to my husbands family. Yes, while that is a good thing, they don't understand how I am not closer to my mother. I can't say that there is a good reason why, just never really was. I left home when I was 17. I have always worked hard and I have 3 kids of my own. We are very close as an immediate family. My mom lives 10 minutes away and I see her maybe 2 or 3 times a year. I do love her just not close to her. Maybe someone can help me understand what has put the distance between us. I don't really feel bad about it but sometimes people make me feel like I should.
5 responses
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
12 May 11
sometime it happen. - maybe due to own career stress and distant.
Yes some parents are not close to their chidren and the vice versa.So are normal because of distant staying together or grow apart when the children get married and moved away because of career advances and such.During those hectic adult years, children will have problems of their own and such and burden with own problems and own family and start to neglect and grow away from own parents.
• United States
12 May 11
Don't feel bad I know how you feel I lost my dad. But my mom was not a good person when I was young so I would not say I am very close with her either. I totally understand you. take care
• India
12 May 11
There are lot of people who are not close to their parents…its only our mental stereotypes that makes people expect that all kids would be close to their parents, especially the mother since she is the primary nurturer. I for one, have never been close to my mom…Oh! She loves me and took excellent care in my upbringing but somehow, while growing up itself, I understood that our personalities are completely different BUT she never realized this truth and from the kind of upbringing she’s had herself, she expects all ‘good, obedient kids’ to do every bidding of their parents, especially the mother. I remember my growing years not with affection but with regret…its so bad that sometimes I really wish I could have a different mother *sigh* maybe you too have something in your mind which you’ve never put your finger to, consciously. People talk, so its best not to share such feelings with them…at least I don’t! I don’t have the courage to speak up and say that I don’t like my mom…people would die of shock (not to speak of my poor mom)…its only in this virtual world that I can open my mind.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
12 May 11
My mother lives in a different island than mine and I only visit her once in three years though I call her often and sometimes paid her ticket to visit me instead. And I don;t have any issues with that, and my Mom knows that I cannot visit her as often as I want to. Well, you have an issue with your parent because you left house at 17, so it is understandable that you did not feel close to them. However people changes, so you want to get closer to your parents someday. People will think whatever they like because they do not know of your situation. You should not feel bad about it. Even when you are closer to your parent people will still find issues to talk about you. That is human nature, so don;t worry too much about it.
@dream_ozn (1754)
• Singapore
12 May 11
Can I ask why you left home when you were 17? I think every family have their own set of working and it's not right to say how will it be right and wrong. There are many who see their parents 365 days a year but they quarrel every day. WHat the point? I personally feel that even if you meet your mum 2 or 3 times a year and you love her and do your part as a child, it's fine. Don't let others make you feel bad. IF you think its right, it is.